borderline homlessness.

[honeydippedxo]

I would say I've never had a home. As a baby no one wanted me, I was passed on from one relative to another until age four. Thats when my mom took my sister and me on the run with her and her husband. He was a drug dealer and abusive in every way. we lived in crack houses, trailor parks, motels, cars. never staying any where longer than two months. until he got locked up (finally) for a year (wtf he ruined my entire childhood just for 1 yr. so fcked up). the family split up while he was away and when he got out he hated my guts! we finally had a real place to live, everyone but me. by the time i was 11 being beaten and thrown out on the streets till the cops picked me up and forced my parents to take me back was a normal part of life for me. when i was 16 they kicked me out for good. im lucky to have a roof tonight. i havent been able to get out of this situation and im dragging other people down with me. i hate myself.

 

[Feathers]

oh gosh, honey!! ((hugs))

That seems like a really horrible situation!! You could like write movies about it!!

It's difficult to believe such situations really exist!! So odd that the social services or any other organisations didn't do something for you, to make it better??

Have you ever gotten help for any of it? Like counselling or such?
I wonder if there exist some support groups where you could get free help etc?
And maybe you could join any volunteer groups or non-profits helping kids in a similar situation? Maybe it could even be a career (paid work)?
Or you could maybe help kids decide to stay away from drugs and such?

I bet with your experience you could really really help other kids!!
Can you get info and maybe any training on this?

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Sounds like your life has been very complicated so far
Now that you are older and have more ways of taking control of your life, Maybe you could make it your ultimate goal, have a home of your own, and put all your energy into it?

 

[honeydippedxo]

Feathers yur always there for everyone huh youre too kind. =) an angel in spw.

when the cops would find me, my parents would lie and say i ran away so they dont get in trouble. no one backs me up so i end up looking like some kind of ungreatful punk kid. no one has ever believed me until seeing with their own eyes anyways. they just think im being dramatic or i do things to make him hit me or w.e. i would love to work with kids someday but im not sure what i could do. lol if i could make a movie of my life I soo would! i never got help for ne thing cuz my sa is so bad. im just a lost soul at this point. i dont have a clue about anything. i need some kind of mentor but i dont know how to find someone to help.

 

[honeydippedxo]

Feathers yur always there for everyone huh youre too kind. =) an angel in spw.

when the cops would find me, my parents would lie and say i ran away so they dont get in trouble. no one backs me up so i end up looking like some kind of ungreatful punk kid. no one has ever believed me until seeing with their own eyes anyways. they just think im being dramatic or i do things to make him hit me or w.e. i would love to work with kids someday but im not sure what i could do. lol if i could make a movie of my life I soo would! i never got help for ne thing cuz my sa is so bad. im just a lost soul at this point. i dont have a clue about anything. i need some kind of mentor but i dont know how to find someone to help.

 

[BlackPuma]

Oh, wow.

That's truly terrible. You shouldn't hate yourself, for what you've been through, you should be proud of your strength. You've obviously been through a lot more then you deserve. What you deserve now is living the rest of your life out in nothing but comfort and love. And I think that's what you should work towards to. :3

I bet it must be very hard to try and make yourself better after all that, but there's not a single doubt in my mind that you'll be able to use your experience in a good way someday. I don't have any advice, for that I am sorry, but just know that you're a strong and admirable person for coming here after all that.

What your parents have done to you is nothing short of criminal..

 

[Feathers]

Honey, thanks! I'm definitely no angel tho!!

I'd love to be but ahh well.. They say 'good girls go to heaven bad girls go everywhere'?? (?) Maybe after this life here..

Well, I think you can start by googling what's available in your town for kids or troubled youth.. Are there any helplines or 'hot lines' or non profits with support groups for eg battered women or kids.. or people who have had experience with violence or drug users in the family

There is Al-Anon for family members of alcoholics, and some places have special support groups for relatives of drug users..
There are online forums that are like support groups too, and maybe you could get more help on some of them..

Some magazines for women have yellow pages like that..

If you google 'drug user violence relatives support group massachusetts' quite some info comes up.. with possibly helpful programs to research.. so see if any of it seems interesting..
or try searching + your local town/city name..

You also have a glimpse of some maybe interesting programs here: Support Groups - Framingham, MA - The MetroWest Daily News (no idea how far or near that is to you, you can PM but preferably don't tell your location on the internet for all to see)
some groups for family members of addicts and for people with emotional problems or violence survivors - see if you can find anything like that for your area?

You could look at any interesting websites, see if it might be interesting, call up and ask.. Even if they don't seem to have an exact program for you, you could ask if they know of another or more local program or support group? Or you could go to two or three places and see how you like it.. Maybe it would be good if a friend or bf could accompany you to start with, until you get to know the people there etc?

And do tell us here how it goes!!

Pacific is very right too, focus on what you DO want and would like, and put your energy into it!!

 

[honeydippedxo]

to pacific_ i am tring my hardest to figure out how to make a life for myself where i dont have to worry about being thrown out or anyone hurting me and i can just count on me. its really hard. lol


To puma- thanks no advice needed your supportive words are more than enough.

Thanks for listening to a piece of my story. you're all wonderful people.

 

[Luke1993]

This is not good to hear at all.....very unfortunate. So where are you staying now? You've got internet access, so I'm guessing it's an alright place?

 

[Dronee]

You know... I'm not sure how it is in your country, but in many countries, there are numbers you can call for this kind of things. At the other end will be an anonymous person who deals with things like this... They may know a lot of ways for you to deal with your problems and refer you to the right people or places.... maybe get you some place to live or give you a career adviser or something like that.

Ah... I just read.. seems Feathers already suggested this. It may be worth trying.

 

[Forgotten-Children]

You're only 16 and they kicked you out?! *gives you a big, long hug* Maybe you should consider foster parents. Going by what your location info says, you live in the US so you should have no problem getting help if you ask the police to get you some, because you don't need to be around the environment you've been in for years. You should be with people who actually would care for you.

I have a friend who's going through simalar troubles. I know it's hard but you have to do what is best for you, because no one should be treated like the way that you just described to us all. *gives you another hug*

EDIT: If you don't mind me asking, who are you staying with at the moment?

 

[awkwardamanda]

That makes me so sad.:: All I can really say is good luck in the future.