I feel different from all the family. Most of the family has perfect grades, they're all Christians, and they are really good in sports. My dad's side and my mom's side are different. My mom's side is pretty dysfunctional, well not everything. My dad's side is just perfect. Me? I'm sort of a misfit. I'm not into religion, I don't do sports, and I don't get high grades. I felt like the only weirdo of the family because I get sensitive, and a bit emotional.
Black sheep of the family
- Thread starter sillyrabbit231
- Start date
Hm, you just need to find 'your people'.... for some people, what you describe as 'prefect' might sound very 'boring' and you could be seen as way more 'interesting'??
(Even Jesus didn't hang out with the 'rich' 'perfect' people, he'd hang out with the 'misfits'!
)
There are lots of people on this planet who don't do sports, aren't into religion and don't have high grades - and they seem to be doing quite allright??
Being sensitive and emotional is considered an asset in some professions/cultures/areas... (eg arts or crafts, creativity, theatre, music etc)
For me, it was helpful to read about the concept of 'HSP=Highly Sensitive Person' as just being 'different'...
Maybe you have talents and strengths that other people don't have?? Recognize and honor them even if they might be 'unorthodox'!!! Some people can be great at cooking, or way more caring than some 'perfect' people etc.
(Even Jesus didn't hang out with the 'rich' 'perfect' people, he'd hang out with the 'misfits'!
) There are lots of people on this planet who don't do sports, aren't into religion and don't have high grades - and they seem to be doing quite allright??
Being sensitive and emotional is considered an asset in some professions/cultures/areas... (eg arts or crafts, creativity, theatre, music etc)
For me, it was helpful to read about the concept of 'HSP=Highly Sensitive Person' as just being 'different'...
Maybe you have talents and strengths that other people don't have?? Recognize and honor them even if they might be 'unorthodox'!!! Some people can be great at cooking, or way more caring than some 'perfect' people etc.
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
I've always been the black sheep of my family-- both sides, actually.
Firstly, I look different. I'm pale as a ghost and the only person in either side of the family to have green eyes. I was born with blonde hair when there are no natural blondes in my family.
The overall structure of my face is completely different.
When I was a child, all of my cousins were my sister's age. I was always 'too young' and 'too short' to play with them, so I'd be left out and would end up going to sit with my great grandparents in a corner while they took a nap sitting up.
As for how I am as a person, I get along with everyone now that I'm an adult, sure.
Up until I was 20 though, I would still get picked on constantly, teased and left out of any conversations or activities. When I had something to say, I was ignored completely because no one understood what I was getting at or it wasn't 'important' enough. I wasn't 'smart' enough or quite 'creative enough' or 'good enough' at music-- not like my cousins and especially not like my sister.
I'm still someone who looks and acts differently from everyone else-- still the only person who doesn't drink or smoke or date; so I'm left out of alot.
Thing is; I don't really care anymore. I'm used to it.
I guess being a black sheep can get easier as you get older.
Firstly, I look different. I'm pale as a ghost and the only person in either side of the family to have green eyes. I was born with blonde hair when there are no natural blondes in my family.
The overall structure of my face is completely different.
When I was a child, all of my cousins were my sister's age. I was always 'too young' and 'too short' to play with them, so I'd be left out and would end up going to sit with my great grandparents in a corner while they took a nap sitting up.
As for how I am as a person, I get along with everyone now that I'm an adult, sure.
Up until I was 20 though, I would still get picked on constantly, teased and left out of any conversations or activities. When I had something to say, I was ignored completely because no one understood what I was getting at or it wasn't 'important' enough. I wasn't 'smart' enough or quite 'creative enough' or 'good enough' at music-- not like my cousins and especially not like my sister.
I'm still someone who looks and acts differently from everyone else-- still the only person who doesn't drink or smoke or date; so I'm left out of alot.
Thing is; I don't really care anymore. I'm used to it.
I guess being a black sheep can get easier as you get older.
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Phoenixx
Well-known member
I'm a bit of a black sheep too, especially compared to my mom's side and to my brother. My mom's side of the family is pretty outgoing, not exactly smart (doesn't apply to all, just half), and a lot of them are pretty tall. My brother is fairly tall, has dark hair, is somewhat outgoing, loves to party, has tan skin, and isn't the brightest either.
My dad's family... Well, I look and act exactly like my dad, and only two of my cousins can come off a bit looking like my sisters, but that's about it. In my dad's family, a lot of them are just really happy, outgoing people that also love to party and men and women alike are good looking. The girls are basically flawless. Modeling, makeup design, and acting professions run in his family with the women, so I've always felt way below average compared to all of them. I'm not flawless or good looking, I don't have beautiful skin, I'm quiet and extremely shy, and I don't like to party. While I don't always feel like I belong, I still like being around my older relatives. They have always respected me more and treated me better than any of my cousins ever did. My cousins never teased me, but they just ignored me. I felt they never really wanted anything to do with me.
My dad's family... Well, I look and act exactly like my dad, and only two of my cousins can come off a bit looking like my sisters, but that's about it. In my dad's family, a lot of them are just really happy, outgoing people that also love to party and men and women alike are good looking. The girls are basically flawless. Modeling, makeup design, and acting professions run in his family with the women, so I've always felt way below average compared to all of them. I'm not flawless or good looking, I don't have beautiful skin, I'm quiet and extremely shy, and I don't like to party. While I don't always feel like I belong, I still like being around my older relatives. They have always respected me more and treated me better than any of my cousins ever did. My cousins never teased me, but they just ignored me. I felt they never really wanted anything to do with me.
this_portrait
Well-known member
Technically, I'm an illegitimate child (parents had me while my father was still married). However, my family has come to look up to me over the years because I went the traditional route (went straight to college after high school graduation), I try to further myself as much as I can, I don't have kids, and I'm not strung out on drugs or an alcoholic. A large portion of my family, unfortunately, is a lot more dysfunctional than me, and most of them are way more social than I am. My parents kinda brag me up, and the rest of my family seems to have this weird kind of respect for me because I'm trying to get ahead in life at a young age. This bothers me a little, because I feel like they think I'm "perfect," which is not true. What annoys me even more are the rare occasions I see family members (and even family friends) at gatherings; the minute I walk in, they all start asking me questions about college: "What school do you go to? What are you studying? Do you like it? What are you gonna do after you graduate?" The same questions I get asked over and over again. I'm at the point where I'm about to start refusing to answer any questions regarding school.
So in a way, I kind of have the opposite problem. Granted, I wouldn't want to be the black sheep, either (though if I were a black sheep in my family, I would probably fit in more). I just don't think it's good for my family to practically place me on a pedestal, because then they don't realize that I have flaws, too. Just like people don't seem to see the good aspects of the "black sheep" and only see "imperfections."
So in a way, I kind of have the opposite problem. Granted, I wouldn't want to be the black sheep, either (though if I were a black sheep in my family, I would probably fit in more). I just don't think it's good for my family to practically place me on a pedestal, because then they don't realize that I have flaws, too. Just like people don't seem to see the good aspects of the "black sheep" and only see "imperfections."
Oh and yes, I'm also illegitimate. My real mom died when I was a baby, No one knows how she died. I don't even know who my dad was but I'm just lucky I have godparents.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Damn, that sounds so boring!
For sure. Once you step out of the family ties that you're basically bound to early in life, you can flourish as you're own person, black sheep or not.
There were no black sheep in my family, but in the last few years I think I have become one by showing a strong disinterest in the news and not talking as much to my family, where my brother is the opposite of that. It kind of bothers me but at the same time I don't really care.
MrJones
Well-known member
Yeah, pretty much the same. I'm the youngest one in the family, always been different to the others, the weirdo.
In my father's side there has been always a lot of talent, from painting, designing, acting, singnig, playing music, writing, etc. My sister can do all of that.
My sister always had perfect grades, had more friends now she's very outgoing and has a thousand suitors. She has been working for important companies, including national television, been traveling around the world and now find a job in another country. She's without a doubt the most successful one in the family and she's only 22.
My cousins weren't that good at school but still are extremely charismatic, outgoing and they both have jobs, continuing the family business.
What I don't understand is how they had problems with drugs, one of them being even a drug dealer (not anymore) they are still being seen as "better" than me in the family. Everyone feels pity for me for the way I am, because I have no life.
In my father's side there has been always a lot of talent, from painting, designing, acting, singnig, playing music, writing, etc. My sister can do all of that.
My sister always had perfect grades, had more friends now she's very outgoing and has a thousand suitors. She has been working for important companies, including national television, been traveling around the world and now find a job in another country. She's without a doubt the most successful one in the family and she's only 22.
My cousins weren't that good at school but still are extremely charismatic, outgoing and they both have jobs, continuing the family business.
What I don't understand is how they had problems with drugs, one of them being even a drug dealer (not anymore) they are still being seen as "better" than me in the family. Everyone feels pity for me for the way I am, because I have no life.
I think a lot of us make ourselves into black sheep - we'd probably be accepted by a lot of people in a lot of instances but don't even try due to anxiety/avoidant behavior. For instance, my family loves me to bits, but I don't make nearly enough of an effort with them. I avoid people of my own volition without ever having been labeled an outcast or reject. In fact, when people meet me, I often hear that they complimented me behind my back, and it seems that a lot of people actually like me and think I'm completely normal. That has really surprised me over the years. It appears that all the chaos that goes on in my head makes me think I'm something worse than I am.
I'm sure the above applies to lots more people here as well, so don't be too quick to pigeonhole yourself.
I'm sure the above applies to lots more people here as well, so don't be too quick to pigeonhole yourself.