Awkward silence

[Mr.Prez]

Hehe first thread.

Whenever you hang out with someone, is it always necessary to talk or converse? Like I know it's weird to start a conversation with a stranger in the elevator because the ride is so short, but how about like in a restaurant? I get so nervous and anxious when I'm with coworkers or my brother and no one is saying anything that I always end up making an inapproporiate remark or something and I don't know if it's ok for no one to be speaking

 

[Kiwong]

I dislike silences myself. I try to fill in the silence with words. If they are people who I share interests incommon with there is usually no silence.

 

[Niteowl]

I wouldn't say it's always necessary. I think it's good practice to initiate some conversations though: I know it's tough thinking of things to say when there's this 'awkward silence', but think about how a conversation can be engaging: what will encourage conversation? Any mutual interests? Otherwise it could just be something general, maybe something about a recent event in the news. You know, something major, that's been in the headlines or on TV. That could be a start! I think it's always all right to speak - I'd expect that the other people you're with are waiting for someone to speak too. You've just got to bring up a topic that they can get involved in.

Welcome, by the way.

 

[Blabla..]

i like to stay quiet , so i like to be with people that don't talk too much , unless we really have stuff in common , then it might feel really good to talk with them , i like to listen to people tho so if they feel like telling me their stories i'm all ears , just don't expect me to jump in

 

[takethislife]

When I was younger and more unexperienced with people, I thought there shouldn't be any silences in a conversation.
And when they occured (it happens pretty often I might say), I blamed myself and thought how dumb I was for not being able to keep a simple conversation going.
WRONG.
When you have SA, you automatically blame yourself for this kind of things, but the thing is, the other party is "guilty" as well. Besides, if you take a look at two people talking on the streetcar or wherever, you'll see silences very often, and none of them seems to be worried about it, it's a normal thing.

 

[Invisibleman]

God I hate awkward silence. Ive always relied on the other person to make the conversation because people are so damn open and talkative. seriously ive literally sat and listened to people blab on for an hour with me only saying a few words. But ive relied on that for so long its to the point where the other person has nothing to say and im screwed.

 

[Mr.Prez]

I wouldn't say it's always necessary. I think it's good practice to initiate some conversations though: I know it's tough thinking of things to say when there's this 'awkward silence', but think about how a conversation can be engaging: what will encourage conversation? Any mutual interests? Otherwise it could just be something general, maybe something about a recent event in the news. You know, something major, that's been in the headlines or on TV. That could be a start! I think it's always all right to speak - I'd expect that the other people you're with are waiting for someone to speak too. You've just got to bring up a topic that they can get involved in.

Welcome, by the way.

That's a good idea actually. There are so many social nuances that I need to learn about

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Most silences aren't awkward in my opinion...
I rather like the silence.

 

[MrJones]

I got used to silences, I think.
It's not that bad, then.

 

[Richey]

i've worked in a few different areas. one place i worked everyone was really quiet so i just got used to it and people would talk if they felt like it. another place i worked everyone talked non-stop and i just tried to be myself and relaxed as much as i could be at that moment. from experience i think you need to be accepting of long and short silences, breaks in conversation and banter as all are perfectly natural. so i don't find it awkard, i just see it as the other person doesn't have anything to talk about at that moment which isn't really a problem.

 

[MikeyC]

When I was younger and more unexperienced with people, I thought there shouldn't be any silences in a conversation.
And when they occured (it happens pretty often I might say), I blamed myself and thought how dumb I was for not being able to keep a simple conversation going.
WRONG.
When you have SA, you automatically blame yourself for this kind of things, but the thing is, the other party is "guilty" as well. Besides, if you take a look at two people talking on the streetcar or wherever, you'll see silences very often, and none of them seems to be worried about it, it's a normal thing.

I do that now: blame myself if there's silences because I can't keep up a good conversation. Even after reading this post, I'll do the same.

I hate awkward silences so much. I would prefer hanging in a group rather than one-on-one because it relieves the pressure off me to constantly come up with really banal topics to talk about just to fill the air.