Avoidance

Marc7

Well-known member
#1
Does anybody avoid a lot of things like sports, news, music, comments, TV shows, movies, YouTube videos, and people talking due to anxiety, not wanting to feel inferior to someone, and overthinking? I do all the time so much that I'm behind or I miss out on many things everyday. And sometimes I want to not avoid to catch up but then I tell myself I'm too anxious to do it, I get discouraged, I get scared, or I have what ifs about if something negative happens. It is very scary for me not keeping up because I could miss something important I need to know or something that's dangerous for me at least regarding the news. Also I miss out on a lot of could been conversations and maybe if I didn't avoid I wouldn't be so bored. Also I feel like I'm disappointing people when I tell people I don't watch or follow what is going on in the world whether it be sports, news, or music etc. Any advice for me?
 

lily

Well-known member
#2
hi! I avoid going to places too bc I feel it can be dangerous but I don't avoid the news. I watch it. it's important for knowledge. W/ music i just listen to my own music that i like but i don't over-think. I do, however, feel that if it was in a group talking and I couldn't relate i could feel bad but then I just don't join in. hopefully they'll still like to talk to me too.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#3
hi! I avoid going to places too bc I feel it can be dangerous but I don't avoid the news. I watch it. it's important for knowledge. W/ music i just listen to my own music that i like but i don't over-think. I do, however, feel that if it was in a group talking and I couldn't relate i could feel bad but then I just don't join in. hopefully they'll still like to talk to me too.
I do avoid the news and other things but I do listen to my own music too. I feel bad or like I'm disappointing them. Do you have any advice on how I can stop avoiding these things?
 

lily

Well-known member
#4
it's really hard if you have avoidant personality disorder. i don't really know what that disorder is. do you think you could just go for it? like have thoughts on the positive rather than the negative. Write a list of your fears and then conquer those fears w/ something to back it up.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
#5
I avoid the news and similar types of things like it but not because of anxiety but more because it makes me mad at the shitty situations that occur needlessly, or some stories just make me utterly depressed. So its really more for my own mental sake I avoid them most of the time. I can get enough on my facebook feed where I just get the headlines then I can ignore or read more on if I choose.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#6
it's really hard if you have avoidant personality disorder. i don't really know what that disorder is. do you think you could just go for it? like have thoughts on the positive rather than the negative. Write a list of your fears and then conquer those fears w/ something to back it up.
I think I have avpd. I could try but I have many fears as I don't know what to expect, the unknown, overthinking more than I have to, being anxious, possibly having to change my life, possibly hearing something negative, and possibly hearing something that I disagree with or that makes me feel inferior to someone. Also i'm behind for the most part in all the things I mentioned in my original post so me being the perfectionist I feel i have to catch up with every single thing and thought of that gets overwhelming. What do you mean have something to back it up with conquering my fears?
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#7
I avoid the news and similar types of things like it but not because of anxiety but more because it makes me mad at the shitty situations that occur needlessly, or some stories just make me utterly depressed. So its really more for my own mental sake I avoid them most of the time. I can get enough on my facebook feed where I just get the headlines then I can ignore or read more on if I choose.
Mine is due to many fears such as I don't know what to expect, the unknown, overthinking more than I have to, being anxious, possibly having to change my life, possibly hearing something negative, and possibly hearing something that I disagree with or that makes me feel inferior to someone. Also I'm kind of a perfectionist so it is overwhelming to catch up with everything that I'm behind in. Do you avoid sports, YouTube videos, music, TV shows, movies, comments, and people talking as well? I'm asking because I do. How do you get news headlines on your Facebook feed?
 

lily

Well-known member
#8
I think I have avpd. I could try but I have many fears as I don't know what to expect, the unknown, overthinking more than I have to, being anxious, possibly having to change my life, possibly hearing something negative, and possibly hearing something that I disagree with or that makes me feel inferior to someone. Also i'm behind for the most part in all the things I mentioned in my original post so me being the perfectionist I feel i have to catch up with every single thing and thought of that gets overwhelming. What do you mean have something to back it up with conquering my fears?
What I meant was to write a list of your fears of doing sth and then conquer those fears with a replacement thought.:)
 
#9
Mine is due to many fears such as I don't know what to expect, the unknown, overthinking more than I have to, being anxious, possibly having to change my life, possibly hearing something negative, and possibly hearing something that I disagree with or that makes me feel inferior to someone. Also I'm kind of a perfectionist so it is overwhelming to catch up with everything that I'm behind in. Do you avoid sports, YouTube videos, music, TV shows, movies, comments, and people talking as well? I'm asking because I do. How do you get news headlines on your Facebook feed?
I avoid sports because it bores me, and I tend to avoid comments because the general comments on things are full of trolls or ignorance and stupid people. In real life and not virtually I definitely avoid things from an anxiety point, so general crowds or really any social situations I avoid like the plague as much as possible.

Between pages that I follow and people that Im friends with I get a fair amount of news headlines shared on there, I follow my state police and rfs and a few others like that so Im generally pretty well covered news headline wise. At Least for the important ones
 
#10
What I meant was to write a list of your fears of doing sth and then conquer those fears with a replacement thought.:)
I think what Lily is meaning is fear affirmations, its a technique for trying to manage and overcome fears by speaking or thinking positive affirmations in direct response to whatever is giving you anxiety. Here are a couple examples https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/positive-affirmations or https://positiveaffirmationscenter.com/positive-affirmations-for-anxiety/
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
#11
Some of the things you list I use to avoid social interaction in person - you tube, music. I' generally watch music on you tube, which saves going to watch music live. I communicate a lot with forums, blogs and social media because I prefer it to in person interaction.

gradual exposure to the things you fear seems to work for me, starting with the least anxiety provoking to the most.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#12
I avoid sports because it bores me, and I tend to avoid comments because the general comments on things are full of trolls or ignorance and stupid people. In real life and not virtually I definitely avoid things from an anxiety point, so general crowds or really any social situations I avoid like the plague as much as possible.

Between pages that I follow and people that Im friends with I get a fair amount of news headlines shared on there, I follow my state police and rfs and a few others like that so Im generally pretty well covered news headline wise. At Least for the important ones
I avoid sports because I have perfectionist tendencies where I have to be caught up to watch and I get anxious as well. But I know that being caught up to watch is irrational though but it makes everything more understandable though. General comments where? I agree there are trolls and ignorance in the some comment sections. But I still read them because it gives me something to do and somethings I would miss out on if I didn't read them. But I don't go back to the comment section unless I'm not anxious though. Me too I avoid crowds and I avoid social situations sometimes unless I'm trying to make friends with someone.

That is on your news feed on facebook right? What is rfs?
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#13
What I meant was to write a list of your fears of doing sth and then conquer those fears with a replacement thought.:)
I don't know an example of a replacement thought but Loyal gave me an example so I get it now.

I think what Lily is meaning is fear affirmations, its a technique for trying to manage and overcome fears by speaking or thinking positive affirmations in direct response to whatever is giving you anxiety. Here are a couple examples https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/positive-affirmations or https://positiveaffirmationscenter.com/positive-affirmations-for-anxiety/
I'll try using these affirmations but just getting started is very hard to do in regards to what I'm very anxious about. But I'll see how it goes though.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#14
Some of the things you list I use to avoid social interaction in person - you tube, music. I' generally watch music on you tube, which saves going to watch music live. I communicate a lot with forums, blogs and social media because I prefer it to in person interaction.

gradual exposure to the things you fear seems to work for me, starting with the least anxiety provoking to the most.
So you don't avoid social interaction, YouTube, and music anymore? Do you mean so you don't have to go to their concert? I mostly communicate on forums and a pen pal site and a little in person.

Thank you for the advice. Somethings don't make me anxious but most of the things I want to watch, follow, or read make me anxious at the same level. So idk if i can start at what makes me the least anxious.
 
#16
I avoid sports because I have perfectionist tendencies where I have to be caught up to watch and I get anxious as well. But I know that being caught up to watch is irrational though but it makes everything more understandable though. General comments where? I agree there are trolls and ignorance in the some comment sections. But I still read them because it gives me something to do and somethings I would miss out on if I didn't read them. But I don't go back to the comment section unless I'm not anxious though. Me too I avoid crowds and I avoid social situations sometimes unless I'm trying to make friends with someone.

That is on your news feed on facebook right? What is rfs?
Rfs is short for New South Wales Rural Fire Service .

As for the general comments I find there is a lot of ignorance and even more trolls in most of all the comment sections of anything that you can comment on, I'll sometimes read them, but usually its such a shitstorm I avoid it
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#17
I went to concert last year and it was great. I've been exposing myself to real life siutations. I certainly don't avoid you tube.
That's good. Do you expose yourself to real life situations such as socialization? I do for the reasons I mentioned. Sorry but what do you think about me saying that most of the things I want to do are on the same level of anxiousness so I can't really start at what makes me the most anxious?
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#18
Rfs is short for New South Wales Rural Fire Service .

As for the general comments I find there is a lot of ignorance and even more trolls in most of all the comment sections of anything that you can comment on, I'll sometimes read them, but usually its such a shitstorm I avoid it
Oh. If you don't mind what country is that in?

Yea there is most of the time. Do you have any advice for me if I want to stop avoiding things or at least not be anxious when they arise?

Also I tried the positive affirmations they don't motivate me to face my fears yet.
 
#19
Hi.I tend to be careful what news I listen to since it can be very negative.Filled with stories about violence.

But doing online searches you can find out about specific news.Business news, science,politically news etc.Thats what I do.Maybe that may help you feel more a part of things.

I really love music and it's a big part of my life.Maybe you can try to find singers,bands etc that are similar to the music you like already.Thats what I do and it helps me find other musically groups to listen to.I use YouTube to listen to new music.
 
#20
Oh. If you don't mind what country is that in?

Yea there is most of the time. Do you have any advice for me if I want to stop avoiding things or at least not be anxious when they arise?

Also I tried the positive affirmations they don't motivate me to face my fears yet.
Australia.

As for advice, not really, affirmations work for some people but not for me. The thing that gets me to do the things I have to even when Im struggling is that my dogs need me to. My dogs need me to go grocery shopping coz I dont care that I ran out of edible food, but I will always make sure that they have food. My dogs need me to go to this appointment coz if I dont I lose my payments and various things like that. Having something that is dependent on me as well as so important to me is what gets me through the days. They are the reason I leave my bed each morning (that and Im usually busting to pee :LOL:)
 
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