Avoidance

Marc7

Well-known member
#21
Hi.I tend to be careful what news I listen to since it can be very negative.Filled with stories about violence.

But doing online searches you can find out about specific news.Business news, science,politically news etc.Thats what I do.Maybe that may help you feel more a part of things.

I really love music and it's a big part of my life.Maybe you can try to find singers,bands etc that are similar to the music you like already.Thats what I do and it helps me find other musically groups to listen to.I use YouTube to listen to new music.
I know it can be negative. What do you mean you are careful what news you listen too?

Thank you. I don't know what specific news I would like to hear or follow though. That's why I would go toward general news but it is anxiety provoking as well as other things I mentioned. I guess I could read a little each day or something like that but that is still hard to do.

How do you find new music on YouTube though? Well finding similar artists makes me anxious.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#22
Australia.

As for advice, not really, affirmations work for some people but not for me. The thing that gets me to do the things I have to even when Im struggling is that my dogs need me to. My dogs need me to go grocery shopping coz I dont care that I ran out of edible food, but I will always make sure that they have food. My dogs need me to go to this appointment coz if I dont I lose my payments and various things like that. Having something that is dependent on me as well as so important to me is what gets me through the days. They are the reason I leave my bed each morning (that and Im usually busting to pee :LOL:)
Oh.

Me either it doesn't work for me yet at least. What do you mean by if you don't go to a appointment you will lose your payments and various things like that? I don't pets so I have to motivate myself. But to be fair I have been motivating myself to do other little things I've been struggling with.
 
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Kiwong

Well-known member
#23
That's good. Do you expose yourself to real life situations such as socialization? I do for the reasons I mentioned. Sorry but what do you think about me saying that most of the things I want to do are on the same level of anxiousness so I can't really start at what makes me the most anxious?
Yes, I do. Playing guitar, workshops, christmas parties, find that life continuously throws me into the things that make me most anxious. I do it anyway.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
#24
Oh.

Me either it doesn't work for me yet at least. What do you mean by if you don't go to a appointment you will lose your payments and various things like that? I don't pets so I have to motivate myself. But to be fair I have been motivating myself to do other little things I've been struggling with.
I mean there are things that if I dont do them then I dont get any money or things that absolutely have to do be done in order to have my dogs needs met
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#25
Yes, I do. Playing guitar, workshops, christmas parties, find that life continuously throws me into the things that make me most anxious. I do it anyway.
That's good to hear. What do you do to force yourself to do it? What is your advice for me about facing my fears if my anxiety is the same?
 
#28
Oh I guess I'm confused on the money part. So you have to do things in order to get money?
In Australia (Im not referring to Loyal here as I dont know her personal situation) you can recieve payments from the government to help keep you off the streets. Money for basic housing and food etc.
But you are obliged to do certain things, such as attend certain appointments, be looking for work or studying.
If you fail to do these things then you lose any potential support from the government in the form of payments/money.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#30
Oh I understand now, PugofCrydee explained it to me.

In Australia (Im not referring to Loyal here as I dont know her personal situation) you can recieve payments from the government to help keep you off the streets. Money for basic housing and food etc.
But you are obliged to do certain things, such as attend certain appointments, be looking for work or studying.
If you fail to do these things then you lose any potential support from the government in the form of payments/money.
Thank you for explaining. So you're forced to go to certain appointments and look for work or go to school in order to keep the payments?
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#31
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
I would but I think I have severe anxiety or avpd. Plus I'm kind of a perfectionist where if I missed something I feel I have to catch up but I know that is irrational. Also if I face my fear I don't want to feel anxious during that time, overthink later in the day, or possibly feel inferior to anyone.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
#34
I didn't understand this part:

I'm kind of a perfectionist where if I missed something I feel I have to catch up but I know that is irrational
However, my comment still stands: you're never gonna stop feeling anxious when it comes to new things. As Russ Harris put it in one of his books: the act of confidence comes first, and the feeling of confidence comes later.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#35
I didn't understand this part:
Plus I'm kind of a perfectionist where if I missed something I feel I have to catch up but I know that is irrational.
I meant I feel I have to catch up with every little single thing if I'm behind in something. Lets say I'm behind on a show, I feel I have to catch up on all previous episodes before watching the new episode. Hence the perfectionism.

However, my comment still stands: you're never gonna stop feeling anxious when it comes to new things. As Russ Harris put it in one of his books: the act of confidence comes first, and the feeling of confidence comes later.
But what about me with severe anxiety, feeling inferior to others, overthinking or racing thoughts, or having possible avpd? What do you suggest I do to not avoid everything I said in my original post?
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
#36
I meant I feel I have to catch up with every little single thing if I'm behind in something. Lets say I'm behind on a show, I feel I have to catch up on all previous episodes before watching the new episode. Hence the perfectionism.



But what about me with severe anxiety, feeling inferior to others, overthinking or racing thoughts, or having possible avpd? What do you suggest I do to not avoid everything I said in my original post?
I recommend exposure therapy, repeated, gradual. Make a list of things that make you anxious from least to most. Try exposing yourself to the things lower on the list and staying with situation until your anxiety peaks and the falls away. For racing thoughts you can try grounding techniques, mindfulness. When my thoughts race I try counting backwards from 1000, another grounding technique is thinking what day of the week is it, how old I am.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
#37
I meant I feel I have to catch up with every little single thing if I'm behind in something. Lets say I'm behind on a show, I feel I have to catch up on all previous episodes before watching the new episode. Hence the perfectionism.



But what about me with severe anxiety, feeling inferior to others, overthinking or racing thoughts, or having possible avpd? What do you suggest I do to not avoid everything I said in my original post?
Therapy.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
#38
I recommend exposure therapy, repeated, gradual. Make a list of things that make you anxious from least to most. Try exposing yourself to the things lower on the list and staying with situation until your anxiety peaks and the falls away. For racing thoughts you can try grounding techniques, mindfulness. When my thoughts race I try counting backwards from 1000, another grounding technique is thinking what day of the week is it, how old I am.
I'll consider exposure therapy. I made a list and I'm going over it with someone. Idk if I have racing thoughts or not but I think about things that make me sad, anxious, mad, confused, things I disagree about, and things that I should of been assertive about during the day and night time at a medium amount. Idk if I'm overthinking or I have racing thoughts. But I'll try mindfulness and grounding techniques. Thank you for your advice.
 
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