Avoidance

[Marc7]

Australia.

As for advice, not really, affirmations work for some people but not for me. The thing that gets me to do the things I have to even when Im struggling is that my dogs need me to. My dogs need me to go grocery shopping coz I dont care that I ran out of edible food, but I will always make sure that they have food. My dogs need me to go to this appointment coz if I dont I lose my payments and various things like that. Having something that is dependent on me as well as so important to me is what gets me through the days. They are the reason I leave my bed each morning (that and Im usually busting to pee )

Oh.

Me either it doesn't work for me yet at least. What do you mean by if you don't go to a appointment you will lose your payments and various things like that? I don't pets so I have to motivate myself. But to be fair I have been motivating myself to do other little things I've been struggling with.

 

[Kiwong]

That's good. Do you expose yourself to real life situations such as socialization? I do for the reasons I mentioned. Sorry but what do you think about me saying that most of the things I want to do are on the same level of anxiousness so I can't really start at what makes me the most anxious?

Yes, I do. Playing guitar, workshops, christmas parties, find that life continuously throws me into the things that make me most anxious. I do it anyway.

 

[LoyalXenite]

Oh.

Me either it doesn't work for me yet at least. What do you mean by if you don't go to a appointment you will lose your payments and various things like that? I don't pets so I have to motivate myself. But to be fair I have been motivating myself to do other little things I've been struggling with.

I mean there are things that if I dont do them then I dont get any money or things that absolutely have to do be done in order to have my dogs needs met

 

[Marc7]

Yes, I do. Playing guitar, workshops, christmas parties, find that life continuously throws me into the things that make me most anxious. I do it anyway.

That's good to hear. What do you do to force yourself to do it? What is your advice for me about facing my fears if my anxiety is the same?

 

[Marc7]

I mean there are things that if I dont do them then I dont get any money or things that absolutely have to do be done in order to have my dogs needs met

Oh I guess I'm confused on the money part. So you have to do things in order to get money?

 

[LoyalXenite]

Oh I guess I'm confused on the money part. So you have to do things in order to get money?

Yes

 

[PugofCrydee]

Oh I guess I'm confused on the money part. So you have to do things in order to get money?

In Australia (Im not referring to Loyal here as I dont know her personal situation) you can recieve payments from the government to help keep you off the streets. Money for basic housing and food etc.
But you are obliged to do certain things, such as attend certain appointments, be looking for work or studying.
If you fail to do these things then you lose any potential support from the government in the form of payments/money.

 

[Sacrament]

That's good to hear. What do you do to force yourself to do it? What is your advice for me about facing my fears if my anxiety is the same?

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

 

[Marc7]

Yes

Oh I understand now, PugofCrydee explained it to me.

In Australia (Im not referring to Loyal here as I dont know her personal situation) you can recieve payments from the government to help keep you off the streets. Money for basic housing and food etc.
But you are obliged to do certain things, such as attend certain appointments, be looking for work or studying.
If you fail to do these things then you lose any potential support from the government in the form of payments/money.

Thank you for explaining. So you're forced to go to certain appointments and look for work or go to school in order to keep the payments?

 

[Marc7]

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

I would but I think I have severe anxiety or avpd. Plus I'm kind of a perfectionist where if I missed something I feel I have to catch up but I know that is irrational. Also if I face my fear I don't want to feel anxious during that time, overthink later in the day, or possibly feel inferior to anyone.

 

[Sacrament]

If you're going to wait until you're not anxious, then you'll never do anything.

 

[Marc7]

If you're going to wait until you're not anxious, then you'll never do anything.

What about the other things I mentioned though? Also anxiety can be debilitating. How would I deal with severe anxiety, or avpd, or things related to it?

 

[Sacrament]

I didn't understand this part:

I'm kind of a perfectionist where if I missed something I feel I have to catch up but I know that is irrational

However, my comment still stands: you're never gonna stop feeling anxious when it comes to new things. As Russ Harris put it in one of his books: the act of confidence comes first, and the feeling of confidence comes later.

 

[Marc7]

I didn't understand this part:

Plus I'm kind of a perfectionist where if I missed something I feel I have to catch up but I know that is irrational.

I meant I feel I have to catch up with every little single thing if I'm behind in something. Lets say I'm behind on a show, I feel I have to catch up on all previous episodes before watching the new episode. Hence the perfectionism.

However, my comment still stands: you're never gonna stop feeling anxious when it comes to new things. As Russ Harris put it in one of his books: the act of confidence comes first, and the feeling of confidence comes later.

But what about me with severe anxiety, feeling inferior to others, overthinking or racing thoughts, or having possible avpd? What do you suggest I do to not avoid everything I said in my original post?

 

[Kiwong]

I meant I feel I have to catch up with every little single thing if I'm behind in something. Lets say I'm behind on a show, I feel I have to catch up on all previous episodes before watching the new episode. Hence the perfectionism.



But what about me with severe anxiety, feeling inferior to others, overthinking or racing thoughts, or having possible avpd? What do you suggest I do to not avoid everything I said in my original post?

I recommend exposure therapy, repeated, gradual. Make a list of things that make you anxious from least to most. Try exposing yourself to the things lower on the list and staying with situation until your anxiety peaks and the falls away. For racing thoughts you can try grounding techniques, mindfulness. When my thoughts race I try counting backwards from 1000, another grounding technique is thinking what day of the week is it, how old I am.

 

[Sacrament]

I meant I feel I have to catch up with every little single thing if I'm behind in something. Lets say I'm behind on a show, I feel I have to catch up on all previous episodes before watching the new episode. Hence the perfectionism.



But what about me with severe anxiety, feeling inferior to others, overthinking or racing thoughts, or having possible avpd? What do you suggest I do to not avoid everything I said in my original post?

Therapy.

 

[Marc7]

I recommend exposure therapy, repeated, gradual. Make a list of things that make you anxious from least to most. Try exposing yourself to the things lower on the list and staying with situation until your anxiety peaks and the falls away. For racing thoughts you can try grounding techniques, mindfulness. When my thoughts race I try counting backwards from 1000, another grounding technique is thinking what day of the week is it, how old I am.

I'll consider exposure therapy. I made a list and I'm going over it with someone. Idk if I have racing thoughts or not but I think about things that make me sad, anxious, mad, confused, things I disagree about, and things that I should of been assertive about during the day and night time at a medium amount. Idk if I'm overthinking or I have racing thoughts. But I'll try mindfulness and grounding techniques. Thank you for your advice.

 

[Marc7]

Therapy.

What kind of therapy?

 

[Sacrament]

Probably CBT.

 

[Marc7]

Probably CBT.

Thank you, I'll see what I can do.