Are you tired of being a virgin due to your social phobia
- Thread starter ChAiNz
- Start date
Tempus35
1
I am currently 24 and still a virgin, I understand the original posters thing though were people bug you about it, or they talk about crap around, making you feel bad. I can't say like you that I am good looking, I am not ugly ugly, but I am not great either, which combined with SP completely messes up my chances.
evil feline space cadet
Banned
Id gladly turn back time n stay a virgin forever! Sex and the idea of it makes my SA worse! And because im a girl its amplified by the worry i wasnt good enough, i didnt act normally during it, im going to be a topic of laughter between him n his friends, i fell asleep during it- offending him in the process, he found me repulsive, was thinking of someone else, was desperate, will use this against me. Oh theres so much to worry bout when youre a girl with SA! this is why i dont believe in one night stands.
Tempus35
1
Being a virgin forever doesn't bother me, although it is quite annoying to hear people talk about sex all of the time just because I don't want to know details. What does bother me is never having a romantic relationship. *sigh*
That does seem to be what bothers me more, too, that is the romantic relationship part, which is weird to say being a guy. But I want that connection that can be had, someone that understands me and that will want to me with me, etc.
evil feline space cadet
Banned
Yeh thats all i want too! 
whysoserious?
Active member
Well everything went "ok" in the end and i didnt tell her and she never asked (so im guessin i didnt do to bad... is that big headed ?). She did however keep askin me how i liked "it" and what positions i preferred, of course me having no previous experience i just kept replying "im easy","im not bothered either way" or "whatever you like". I dont think that went down too well lol, made me sound very non commital. Things ended in the obvious way and she still wants to see me again so everything seems cool. I gotta say it wasn't as scary or hard as i thought it would be, although i was following her lead. The confidence boost it has given me is amazing too. Just being comfortable naked with someone else was a strange feeling as i normally dont like being naked on my own lol.
I hope this reply doesn't come across as smug or big headed i just wanted to share with someone, as ive kept this whole situation secret from my friends. (if ive gone into to much detail let me know and ill delete this reply)
Thanks
Shift
Well-known member
My best friend moved into a dorm and he's living there with four other guys... But you don't have to worry about me going over there anymore because I'm not allowed to because I don't talk to anyone while I'm there and it's awkward for my friend.
iamthenra
Well-known member
Believe me, it's the same for me too... Those are my fears, and the worst fear of all is that I get naked and all she can do is point at my groin and laugh... Seriously I fear that I am too small or too whatever and my privates will be laughed about by everyone she shares her story with... Not being good enough is yet another huge fear. And at my age 41, I fear that I might have erectile dysfunction or something during sex... I am so freaked out by all these fears, that I don't know that I will ever be able to actually do the act with anyone. This all reminds me of a visit to the urologist to be checked for burning when I urinate, and the doctor wanted to do a visual exam of my bladder with a scope, and the nurse had to numb up the tip of the penis / urethral opening with some numbing substance. This nurse was indeed the first female to see me naked since I was a toddler being cared for by my mother... Then the nurse had to actually touch me there, and I swear my penis shrank to the size of a thimble. I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out again. I was so beyond embarrassed I wanted to die. If I could have ran out the door I would have... I fear that I will die with the V card.
talisman
Well-known member
Generical
Well-known member
I'm not too bothered right now...feel a little retarded when sex comes up in convo but even if i had the chance i'd probably back out...shit holding hands would probably be a challenge. Avoidance seems sweet until after when you're driving away thinking why the f*ck didn't i say anything. <--- That's more to do with just asking someone out..haven't actually got to the dating bit. Woop~
I know this is an old thread, but I'm responding to the OP. I was just wondering what the big deal about sex is? Hubby and I were watching a show "650 lb Virgin", and we were just confused by the title. The show was about him losing weight and wanting a GIRLFRIEND. If he wanted to merely lose his virginity he very easily could have...at 650lbs or at 250lbs.
I understand it's fun and everything...but I guess I don't see the big deal about "sex", I see the big deal about "relationships" though.
I understand it's fun and everything...but I guess I don't see the big deal about "sex", I see the big deal about "relationships" though.
People are brainwashed by the media/ majority of society that having sex is the best thing in the world and if you're a virgin that means your a fail at life loser. Personally, i don't care about sex. I have other ways to satisfy that urge when the time comes so...lol. What i want is someone there to support me, love me, and have fun with. Simple as that.
This makes sense.
iamthenra
Well-known member
The big deal about "sex" is that if you have never had it, "sex" becomes a big deal! It's the unkown, the one thing that seems to allude allot of us here. A big part of it is just curiousity and maybe if we were given a chance or opportunity, then maybe you would be correct... But not ever knowing what it's like, I can't make that judgment. I'm 41 and soon I will be 51 then 61 etc... I don't see "sex" or a relationship ever happening. Even in college now, the students there are young enough to be my daughter, and isn't a very good place to meet anyone that is remotely close to my own age. So I might as well be that 650 lbs guy, because with SA there is no way I would ever be able to even do the act with a complete stranger, and even with someone who I knew, it would still be challenging...
I guess I can understand that. I think I have a different view on sex itself being a Christian, not on relationships though. Sex without a relationship is nothing, really. And even within a marriage, it's fun...but it's not everything.
I think I've asked you this before and maybe missed your answer, have you tried trying a dating site? I found my hubby on americansingles.com. I stutter in real life and would not have had the guts to talk to a guy...plus I would have never met my hubby since he lived in a totally different town, era, etc.
iamthenra
Well-known member
In all seriousness... I have tried so many dating services over the years, dare I say decades? I know I have tried americansingles, yahoo singles, match, eHaromony, cupid and a whole bunch more than that. I am still on PlentyOfFish which is a free one, and one that I have had about 3 ladies that I have talked to, and I met one locally, but she didn't work out very well. I talked to 2 of the 3 ladies on eHarmony one from Orlando, Florida and the other from Osh Kosh, Wisconsin. I met both of those ladies. I jumped on a jet and flew 3 hours to meet the one from Florida, and I though we got along great and everything, but she developed cold feet. Literally, she didn't want to move to Minnesota mainly because she didn't want to leave her mother. I wished she would have told me before I spent a ton of money just to meet her. Then the one from Wisconsin had allot of issues from what I could tell, and it just didn't work out.... Since then I have not had anyone respond or reply to me, and I have tried eHaromony again, but that didn't work either... I have sincerely tried. I know I am a great guy with allot to offer, because of how I was raised. It's just meeting people and getting myself out "there"... I find it frustrating and depressing... And I know most people can see through my exterior and can probably sense my depression coming through and the SA just the general fear of being around people... I'm seriously tired of sounding like a total "whiner" all the time. I must seem that way, but this topic is the one thing that always is at the center of my depression. It is the one thing that I can't seem to rid my thoughts of... I don't want to die an old man, without knowing what some of these very simple things are. I want to experience these things before I die, but it seems like it isn't ever going to happen given my age, and knowing how successful I have been in my attempts for a relationship. After being knocked down so many times, eventually you just stay down and quit trying.... :
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