Are you socially awkward

[KiaKaha]

In what way do you look awkward to others? How much do others notice? How often do you stumble over words, as a % of what you say?

People start to notice because you dont say anything. Everyone is relaxing and enjoying company but you sit there, not being able to follow the conversation because you are worried about how you are coming across....and that makes you feel even more self conscious because people realize that you are someone that is not socially confident...and its not an attractive quality, it pushes people even further away.

I'm an extrovert, I guess. I talk a lot. But I'm still socially awkward because I just talk because I'm afraid of awkward silences. So it's not natural in anyway, it feels very pushed and therefore awkward. I sometimes wonder if I were quiet people would respect me more.

But overall, yes I am socially awkward and it doesn't help me meeting new people at all

I know social anxiety manifests itself in different ways, not necessarily by just being quiet, still I would rather talk more even if it is forced, rather than going blank and being worried that the next thing I say will make everyone stop talking and stare at me for saying something so inanely ridiculous.

 

[Predacon]

Depends on the situation, but I can often get tongue tied or mumble in new situations which only makes things worse.

 

[dead24]

My whole life I have been very socially awkward. I am not just a quiet introvert ... I am uncomfortable...it makes others uncomfortable.. and it bothers me greatly. This problem handicaps me on so many levels I cant live a meaningful happy life. Almost every social interaction I have is agonizing for me.

I can talk to people though... I have had friends before, I have socialized...but as I get older it just seems to be getting worse.. I am actually going backward instead. Year after year its just so exhausting to enjoy life.

I just want to know if anyone else is awkward around people, less than adequate social skills.

im like you, im incredibly awkward. I dont know how to act and socialize with people anymore

 

[MercySparx]

I think when it comes to this you need retrain how you think. Medication and therapy can help. I used to be like this but over the years my mindset has changed and now I really don't care if some people don't like me, because I like me. Now I'm only socially awkward because I make ridiculously offensive jokes to large groups of people.

 

[Richey]

For me the reasons for becoming awkward is due to my own social tiredness. For instance at work or at a party i am good for the first 30 minutes but after a certain period i just want to be somewhere else, its like i'm waiting for the clock or time to leave the area but then i just feel trapped.

This causes awkwardness because i progressively put less effort into being enthusiastic or energetic which leads to my behaviour and movements to become uptight and awkward because i feel claustraphobic being stuck somewhere i don't want to be at anymore.

Some people can be bubbly and enthusiastic and jokey for hours and hours and hours, i then start to feel jealous of everyone else and that i'm coming across as disinterested or not so witty and quiet and the night becomes more awkward and it spirals down to a couple of hours of near silence with a few comments in between.

i think i'm just generally pessimistic and somber at parties for some reason. i used to be really funny and energetic but that was over 5 years ago and people remind me of "where is the person you used to be" all the time. its ruined my career prospects and friendships and relationships over a five year period.

 

[MercySparx]

drink more?

 

[ObiWan]

YEs! Very!

 

[Kinetik]

Nonchalance is interesting in that regard; it's supposed to come naturally yet it can be one of the hardest things a person can exude if they're not particularly sociable. It feels strange to even entertain the notion of practicing something that should be as straightforward and automatic as eating or sleeping.

All I have at my disposal are a few body language techniques. If I'm anxious in public, I stand up straight, breathe slowly and deeply, and try to keep a faint smile going. I find that if I appear confident on the outside, it helps straighten me out on the inside as well.

 

[Hastings & Main]

In what way do you look awkward to others? How much do others notice?

It's body language. People who are constantly aware of their surroundings and how they look to others are in perpetual examination of how they move, stand etc and therefore do not "act naturally".

Most people pick up on this like they would with any aberrant behavior in their presence. We're always avoiding eye-contact, many stare at the ground as we go. Facial expressions are kept to a minimum, fearing a wrong reaction to what someone says or not wanting attention drawn to ourselves, and so on.

And some of us don't know how to read or get confused by others' body language, which just adds to the awkward 'aura' we radiate.

This awkwardness disappears like magic when you lose your fears for a while or have a surge in self-confidence, as has happened to me on occasion, when I'm lucky.

 

[DanielPlainview]

I feel the exact same way, word for word. It's so frustrating.

 

[Charmed]

Yes. Sometimes I feel that I do OK with socializing, though. But only when it's a few people, and I feel comfortable in the environment (Which I might add, doesn't happen often). I can also relate with many of you guys, since my anxiety just seems to be getting worse. I think it has a lot to do with age. When you're a child or young teen, people just pass you off as shy. But as you grow older, people start to label you as weird. I also think it has to do with the mind, because as we grow older, we are more aware of what society expects of us. Which is typically enjoying sports, hanging out/going to parties, and just doing things of that nature. And if you don't, you're automatically loser. I think that is what's the hardest part about SA, people just never understand. And honestly, I don't think they could .

 

[nicole1]

Yes. I express myself better through writing than I do when I actually talk to people face to face. There are a lot of social things I don't get and I try to emulate those that are social in my life....and I kinda fail at that. I am very awkward when it comes to what to say or how to behave. I'm very...cheery and happy sometimes, so much so that I wind up saying bad or wrong things when I mean them jokingly, even if I wasn't supposed to say them. Like once I accidentally outed a guy... But I've learned to slow down and I don't really talk to people unless they are like super good friends, that way things I say stay between just us and no one else.

At one point, I had a lot of people I could consider friends but their ways turned me off and made me realize that they weren't such great friends after all.

 

[Richey]

I think the reason is because it can be rare to be situated around people that we click with and most people seem to have alot of ego and are just really self-centered in conversation, so conversations don't feel open minded or free enough, this can be true around authorities as well who like to control the conversation. so this leads to feeling awkward and nervous because we feel that we don't have any control.

i think it depends on the environment and people you are with.

 

[OceanMist]

I'm usually the most socially awkward person in a room full of people.

 

[Insanewoman389]

I was home schooled for a very long time so I didn't really learn very good social skills and I think that's what makes me socially awkward, I mean I know what to do most of the time but I just feel so awkward doing it that it makes it hard to interact with strangers I'm always afraid of embarrassing myself :/