I'm not proud of my AvPD but I guess I have accepted it. For me it was a relief when I finally knew why I was different. It does kinda sucks when I look back and wonder what might have been with certain relationships if I didn't have AvPD, but I try not to dwell on that.
No, I'm more ashamed than proud, but I occasionally seek refuge in it. Its me. I don't want it to be, but its all I know. I've heard people with tourettes say similar. Its got to the stage where I don't think I wish I wasn't like this. I think I wish I was someone else. I can't seperate 'it' from me. I am it, it is me. I realise thats a terribly destructive and hopeless way to feel though.
Positive things about AVPD
1. Believe it or not, there are good things about AVPD. For one thing, I don't have to worry about having a baby early and supporting a child which would be nearly impossible in my unemployment situation. Some of my friends had a baby early and they have to deal with that now which takes up a big part of their life and wallet.
2. When you avoid people a lot, that also means no drama. No matter who you hang out with, there is guaranteed to be at least some drama, and drama is annoying to most people including myself. I mean I never have to argue with people about stuff. That makes life much less stressful.
3. Not as many people can judge you. If you don't hang out with anyone, you don't have to impress anyone. I remember how annoying it was to have to worry about making people like me. I don't have to do that anymore, and it takes a load off my mind to not have to worry about that.
4. You don't have to talk to anyone. For someone with SAD, this makes life a lot easier. There isn't pressure to talk to anyone as often. You never have to come up with things to say, or listen to anyone's boring stories about their life.
5. There is more time for self-help. You have all this time to focus on yourself. In my case I've finally started muscle relaxation exercises which is something I'd never be doing if i was hanging out with friends like I used to.
6. There is more time for exercise.
There are probably more, but that's just proof that there are benefits of AVPD. Of course, the cons of AVPD are really bad too: loneliness, depression, lack of money. So it kind of goes both ways, I'd say I'm proud that I don't need to be a slave to society and need them, but at the same time i'm not proud because it hurts to be alone a lot. As humans, we do have a deep-seeded desire to connect with others that is beyond our control, and hopefully I will be able to do that comfortably again some day.
nope.. it's frusterating to want to go somewhere, but to either stay inside on days off or only going out in select places and times of day.. don't want the last moment of life flashing before my eyes to be being alone online all day..
Is it? In my experience, most people get off on drama.
Wow, I said that? I guess it's a personal preference thing, what I should have said is drama is annoying to me. It does seem like people with AVPD wouldn't like drama either, maybe that's what I meant.
Another thing, is that drama question the one thing you cared about out of that whole write-up?
I wouldn't say I'm proud of it, not in the sense you described, but I am at a place in my life where I'm learning to take pride in myself as a person and accepting the things that I can't/don't know how to change(not saying that I'm dismissing self-reflection or things about myself that need working on, only that there's just not a whole lot I can do about having AvPD so why waste energy on worrying about it)
No... I am proud to have the thoughts I have and be who I am but AVPD causes me to put off too many things. It really interferes with finances and being able to hold on to a job for an extended period of time. Not to mention having almost no friends. Honestly the fear that leads to procrastination is the worst... that needs to stop.
Yeah, I think I see what you're getting at. "Proud" isn't quite the right word. Defensive and stubborn I think is a better way of putting it. It's just the way I am. I wouldn't say I'm happy with myself, but I've more or less accepted my quirks, good and bad. I may be odd. I may have a personality disorder or two. But I don't have much desire to change. I definitely don't want others to try and force me to change. I may be willing to improve a few things but I don't wish to be normal. Too damn bad if that bothers anybody.
Trying to find the right words, not sure if this really makes sense...
Proud definitely isn't the right word, because I'm not proud of having sa. It has led me to do things that ended up halting my progress in life, as well as make decisions that have made my life much harder than it had to be. At the same time, I'm happy with myself as a person (as far as character goes) and sa has certainly influenced that. I think it has made me more humble, and more sympathetic towards other people. In the environment grew up in, I could have easily grown up to be a bad person, but I think sa (at least partially) prevented that.
That's just my view, I could be wrong.
Edit: I realize I referred to it as "sa" but I've never been properly diagnosed, so that's what I tend to call it as it's more of a general term. I have most if not all of the symptoms of several behavioral disorders.
Yes I think I do have it. Pride in my lonesomeness. I don't have to face the relationship craps that other people has to face. But I do think how I feel and act might not be normal. Thus I search around the internet and found this forum.
Not at all, which is why I still get depressed periodically.
Though... I can't tell if it has anything to do with my politeness or kindness (which I might be proud of), or my avoidance of partying and sex during high school and now in college (which I am proud of, "that" partying sounds disgusting and sex is disgusting).
I think I'm alright with it. I don't want to be too extroverted. Maybe because extroverts make me feel really uncomfortable or because I think extroverts aren't "genuine" or something. On the whole it isn't anything I want to brag about to other people (if I knew others to brag to) but I don't think this makes me a horrible person.
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