Are you predator, or prey?

[temujoe]

Hello everyone. I've been reading on this forum for a week or two, and have to admit I like the people I see here. I think something good is going on here
with the sharing of experiences.

I've had it relatively good compared to a lot of people here, nonetheless I wasn't an exception to bullying. It usually didn't get physical, there were only intimidation tactics in school, including from friends. I usually stuck up for
myself. However, even sticking up for yourself doesn't gaurantee that you feel ok about yourself. Once I spent some time in a gym, the big guys who like bullying were nice to me all of a sudden. The friends who bullied stopped bullying. I've read a few books on domestic violence, and when parents bully their kids, they usually stop once the kid is big enough to defend her/his self. There's a basic principle there we have to learn from.

To me, this is just nature. Now here me out hehe. If you ever look at nature
documentaries, you have these heirarchies that are dominated by the biggest and baddest member of the herd/tribe/pack, etc. What we have here on this forum, are the victims of those at higher postions of the power hierarchy. We're all or were all the gorillas that didn't eat as much veggies and didn't get as big, so we became victims for the bigger ones. How often are we bullied by someone smaller? Or by someone without backup? Or by someone who doesn't in some way have a power advantage
over us? That's the coward part that people point out, yes, bullies don't tend
to mess with people they think they can't dominate, because that's their
objective, to dominate, to have that higher place on the hierchy ladder.
They are not looking for a challenge! They're looking for someone to squish
under their boot. Like a defenseless bug!

This doesn't mean you're ugly or anything of the sort! It just means you are
the prey and they are the predators. Roughly speaking, lions don't hunt other lions, they hunt animals that can only run away. For those who think they're
ugly or something similar, I have one simple question for you: do you think
if you were attractive nobody would pick on you? Being attractive doesn't
necessarily eliminate you from the prey group, sorry.

Look at the advice people give for bullying. Get bigger/stronger, talk to your
parents, talk to the authorities, talk to your teacher - it's all about getting
a power advantage in a situation where you have the disadvantage. You're not strong enough to stand up to someone, or some people, so you need to get that power, either empowering yourself with confidence and muscles and nunchucks, and/or getting backup from other people/institutions.

So, I have some tactics for fighting bullies that I would like to share with you all. First, get physically empowered. Get some muscle on you, even if you're a girl. That will eliminate most one-on-one physical bullying options. Second, you must get enough social skills to make allies/friends. Join some group activity outside of school or wherever you are if necessary. Practice the social interaction. It's a skill like any other, and you can learn it and get good, like any other. Having friends/allies means you can defend/scare off group-against-one scenarios. Thirdly, watch tons of stand-up comedy. You need to be able to fend for yourself verbally too. Many bullies bully verbally because they know that in the situation you're both in, nobody will say anything about verbal abuse, which can hurt/suck a lot in itself. You must develop the silver tongue to defend and counterattack this tactic. Fourth, you need to develop confidence as well. No confidence means to a predator
that you won't defend yourself, that you are prey. Perhaps therapy is the route for this attribute. It's hard to build confidence into a solid foundation by yourself! Lastly, once you are empowered enough, you can begin to defend others who are being bullied, and show them the path to not being prey.

Unite the clans! Unite us! (many years ago my favorite flick was Braveheart, which is basically about standing up to bullies)

Thanks for taking the time to read

Oh, I part with a warning. Many people who gain power, then start bullying
themselves! Don't fall into this trap please!!!!

And sorry for the formatting!

 

[Klaus]

Hello everyone. I've been reading on this forum for a week or two, and have to admit I like the people I see here. I think something good is going on here
with the sharing of experiences.

I've had it relatively good compared to a lot of people here, nonetheless I wasn't an exception to bullying. It usually didn't get physical, there were only intimidation tactics in school, including from friends. I usually stuck up for
myself. However, even sticking up for yourself doesn't gaurantee that you feel ok about yourself. Once I spent some time in a gym, the big guys who like bullying were nice to me all of a sudden. The friends who bullied stopped bullying. I've read a few books on domestic violence, and when parents bully their kids, they usually stop once the kid is big enough to defend her/his self. There's a basic principle there we have to learn from.

To me, this is just nature. Now here me out hehe. If you ever look at nature
documentaries, you have these heirarchies that are dominated by the biggest and baddest member of the herd/tribe/pack, etc. What we have here on this forum, are the victims of those at higher postions of the power hierarchy. We're all or were all the gorillas that didn't eat as much veggies and didn't get as big, so we became victims for the bigger ones. How often are we bullied by someone smaller? Or by someone without backup? Or by someone who doesn't in some way have a power advantage
over us? That's the coward part that people point out, yes, bullies don't tend
to mess with people they think they can't dominate, because that's their
objective, to dominate, to have that higher place on the hierchy ladder.
They are not looking for a challenge! They're looking for someone to squish
under their boot. Like a defenseless bug!

This doesn't mean you're ugly or anything of the sort! It just means you are
the prey and they are the predators. Roughly speaking, lions don't hunt other lions, they hunt animals that can only run away. For those who think they're
ugly or something similar, I have one simple question for you: do you think
if you were attractive nobody would pick on you? Being attractive doesn't
necessarily eliminate you from the prey group, sorry.

Look at the advice people give for bullying. Get bigger/stronger, talk to your
parents, talk to the authorities, talk to your teacher - it's all about getting
a power advantage in a situation where you have the disadvantage. You're not strong enough to stand up to someone, or some people, so you need to get that power, either empowering yourself with confidence and muscles and nunchucks, and/or getting backup from other people/institutions.

So, I have some tactics for fighting bullies that I would like to share with you all. First, get physically empowered. Get some muscle on you, even if you're a girl. That will eliminate most one-on-one physical bullying options. Second, you must get enough social skills to make allies/friends. Join some group activity outside of school or wherever you are if necessary. Practice the social interaction. It's a skill like any other, and you can learn it and get good, like any other. Having friends/allies means you can defend/scare off group-against-one scenarios. Thirdly, watch tons of stand-up comedy. You need to be able to fend for yourself verbally too. Many bullies bully verbally because they know that in the situation you're both in, nobody will say anything about verbal abuse, which can hurt/suck a lot in itself. You must develop the silver tongue to defend and counterattack this tactic. Fourth, you need to develop confidence as well. No confidence means to a predator
that you won't defend yourself, that you are prey. Perhaps therapy is the route for this attribute. It's hard to build confidence into a solid foundation by yourself! Lastly, once you are empowered enough, you can begin to defend others who are being bullied, and show them the path to not being prey.

Unite the clans! Unite us! (many years ago my favorite flick was Braveheart, which is basically about standing up to bullies)

Thanks for taking the time to read

Oh, I part with a warning. Many people who gain power, then start bullying
themselves! Don't fall into this trap please!!!!

And sorry for the formatting!

100% true.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Scrabbl]

Yeah good post.

 

[Krista]

Hello everyone. I've been reading on this forum for a week or two, and have to admit I like the people I see here. I think something good is going on here
with the sharing of experiences.

I've had it relatively good compared to a lot of people here, nonetheless I wasn't an exception to bullying. It usually didn't get physical, there were only intimidation tactics in school, including from friends. I usually stuck up for
myself. However, even sticking up for yourself doesn't gaurantee that you feel ok about yourself. Once I spent some time in a gym, the big guys who like bullying were nice to me all of a sudden. The friends who bullied stopped bullying. I've read a few books on domestic violence, and when parents bully their kids, they usually stop once the kid is big enough to defend her/his self. There's a basic principle there we have to learn from.

To me, this is just nature. Now here me out hehe. If you ever look at nature
documentaries, you have these heirarchies that are dominated by the biggest and baddest member of the herd/tribe/pack, etc. What we have here on this forum, are the victims of those at higher postions of the power hierarchy. We're all or were all the gorillas that didn't eat as much veggies and didn't get as big, so we became victims for the bigger ones. How often are we bullied by someone smaller? Or by someone without backup? Or by someone who doesn't in some way have a power advantage
over us? That's the coward part that people point out, yes, bullies don't tend
to mess with people they think they can't dominate, because that's their
objective, to dominate, to have that higher place on the hierchy ladder.
They are not looking for a challenge! They're looking for someone to squish
under their boot. Like a defenseless bug!

This doesn't mean you're ugly or anything of the sort! It just means you are
the prey and they are the predators. Roughly speaking, lions don't hunt other lions, they hunt animals that can only run away. For those who think they're
ugly or something similar, I have one simple question for you: do you think
if you were attractive nobody would pick on you? Being attractive doesn't
necessarily eliminate you from the prey group, sorry.

Look at the advice people give for bullying. Get bigger/stronger, talk to your
parents, talk to the authorities, talk to your teacher - it's all about getting
a power advantage in a situation where you have the disadvantage. You're not strong enough to stand up to someone, or some people, so you need to get that power, either empowering yourself with confidence and muscles and nunchucks, and/or getting backup from other people/institutions.

So, I have some tactics for fighting bullies that I would like to share with you all. First, get physically empowered. Get some muscle on you, even if you're a girl. That will eliminate most one-on-one physical bullying options. Second, you must get enough social skills to make allies/friends. Join some group activity outside of school or wherever you are if necessary. Practice the social interaction. It's a skill like any other, and you can learn it and get good, like any other. Having friends/allies means you can defend/scare off group-against-one scenarios. Thirdly, watch tons of stand-up comedy. You need to be able to fend for yourself verbally too. Many bullies bully verbally because they know that in the situation you're both in, nobody will say anything about verbal abuse, which can hurt/suck a lot in itself. You must develop the silver tongue to defend and counterattack this tactic. Fourth, you need to develop confidence as well. No confidence means to a predator
that you won't defend yourself, that you are prey. Perhaps therapy is the route for this attribute. It's hard to build confidence into a solid foundation by yourself! Lastly, once you are empowered enough, you can begin to defend others who are being bullied, and show them the path to not being prey.

Unite the clans! Unite us! (many years ago my favorite flick was Braveheart, which is basically about standing up to bullies)

Thanks for taking the time to read

Oh, I part with a warning. Many people who gain power, then start bullying
themselves! Don't fall into this trap please!!!!

And sorry for the formatting!

Very nice post dear

 

[SunFlexoid]

Absolutely brilliant post, covering the basic points.

Why do bullies bully? It's not important, to hell with why they are who they are, they do it because an opportunity presents itself.

And it is about power balance, exactly as you say, physical power, mental power, social power.

 

[mrb]

jesus mate it must have taken you ages to type that lot out but yes some very good points in there , i did read it all as i said some very good points in there

 

[TheManWhoUpholdsHonour]

Good point though I don't think It's about the hierarchy.

Why Nerds are Unpopular


Just replace nerd with shy people and there you go.They're more like hunters.They need it,but it's nothing personal?

 

[Masychefx2]

im not a nerd im just very nervous but i tend to say things which cause controversy whenever i open my mouth in real life and online.


id say im like a plankton

 

[Dronee]

There's a kind of bird that perches right on the open mouth of alligators (crocodiles?)... the crocodile doesn't kill it for it serves a very useful function and has some utility for the crocodile.

The clown fish has hideouts (sea anemone I think) where not many other creatures can go due to poison there.

The squid has diversionary tactics such as ejecting black liquid to cover its escape.

The gazelle has great speed.

There is a kind of animal that lives in a wintry region of the Earth and looks like a Yak. Usually, when a pack of predators come, most animals would run away. This herd will gather in a circle, all horns pointing forward with the young in the center of the circle.

The chameleon camouflages.

A certain specie of lizard looks like a snake and so this mimicry saves it from would-be predators. A specie of butterfly has fierce patterns on its wings.

Plenty of animals, often marine animals, are so innately poisonous that they deter would-be predators from even thinking of consuming them...

(Sorry for inaccuracies, quoting from memory)

***

There's probably countless more examples from nature, both strategies and counter-strategies. Most of them applicable to us to some degree. Good post OP. I agree with what you say... Just sad that as humans, we really should know better.

There's a competition amongst the prestigious university of the world. It's a slight reflection of good/cooperation vs 'bad'/bullying/'generally being a jerk'...etc... Can't recall the specifics or the numbers so sorry if there's inaccuracies.

Simple game. Each player (there are many) cooperates or victimize (or something like that)... If two players cooperate, each gets 1 point. If one cooperates, the other victimize the cooperating player, the villain gets 3 points. If both tries to victimize the other, they both get no points.

There are many rounds and many players (universities). It's eventually discovered that the highest ranking players were the ones that first try to cooperate and if they were victimized, not cooperate with the 'villainous' players in future rounds... but occasionally, they'll 'forgive' the villain and give them a second chance periodically. If the villain is unrepentant, then no more chances.

I'm not saying this reflects real life very accurately, but it's an interesting experiment. I always felt that the ancient Pythagorean sect had a point when they said that 'everything is number'. I'd still like to believe that there are some true heroes out there though... that proves that we can behave better than most animals.

 

[Scrabbl]

Good point though I don't think It's about the hierarchy.

Why Nerds are Unpopular


Just replace nerd with shy people and there you go.They're more like hunters.They need it,but it's nothing personal?

Good article. good read.

 

[Dronee]

I can be either. I think it is within all humans to be both prey and predator depending on many situational factors. Most people fool themselves into believing that they could never ever prey upon others. 'The Lucifer Effect' by Dr. Phillip Zimbardo is one of the best books I have ever read on this subject. Actually, the only book I've ever read on the subject. lol People can be very evil given the right circumtances. Lead someone to believe that another human poses a real and dangerous threat to them and you will see how evil your every day person can become.

I've read that SPE experiment and the book. The main 'bad cop' repeatedly claims after the experiment that he's actually a decent guy. It's the mob/group mentality thing I think. I think some of the bullies (not all) are only that way if they're in group... Great point.

 

[Felgen]

I was bullied by someone smaller and weaker than me as a child. It doesn't matter if you're stronger than the person picking on you when you're outnumbered. A pack of shabby hyenas can harm a lion as well, if they outnumber him.

 

[Newtype]

I've never been bullied. I can't imagine myself being bullied to be honest. It seems like an impossible thing. There has been 3-4 times when people were disrespectful to me though. I could've easily made them regret it, physically or just being a bully to them for a while, but they're not worth ruining your image for. Nobody thinks you're kool because you owned someone, that's only in movies. That's why the whole bully mentality makes no sense.

 

[AGR]

I was both,I agree that having a big network of friends prevents from being bullied by strangers,but remember that there is a hierarchy inside this network too,I prefer to walk with good people,which are rare today so I dont have many friends,so I can be a easy target now.

 

[Newtype]

By the way, there is an excellent Japanese movie on this subject called All About Lily Chou-Chou.

 

[mrb]

i can be both predator or prey depends on the situation , now i would go into more detail but it would take me ages to type it , im just lazy lol ok ill type a little , i can be predator if i see someone being picked on or bullied , im there like a shot sticking up for them ... i can be prey only when a womans annoyed with me :: i cant seem to stick up for myself, then im like i should say something , i should argue back , but then i think shes a woman , let her just get if off her chest .... what if she gets upset and crys , a woman crying i cant handle , hmmm give gazza a few tears and he bows down to the woman , give her anything she wants just to stop the tears and make her happy again , yes i know its pathetic .... but then its not really pathetic im just a nice guy who doesnt like upsetting people ....

 

[Pink_Paula]

I'm prey definitely, i think i try to be too nice and please everyone so some people can get the wrong idea. I'd rather be prey than predator anyway because preying on someone especially when they are feeling weak is horrible!

 

[philly2bits]

I don't think I'm either. The terms "predator" and "prey" are too far on either side of the scale. I'm not a predator because I don't actively go out and look for people to put down. I'm not prey either since I will not let people walk all over me. I will fight back if pushed enough.

 

[diesel]

i was bullied when i was younger but its stopped now even though im not big and strong . . . without sounding like im talking crap i have a LOOK . what i mean is when i give people the LOOK they back off , well they have so far anyway lol . par example , last saturday night i was out with my friends when a fella said he would stab my friend in the face if he didnt light his cigarette , long story short i gave him the LOOK and he quite quickly changed his mind and walked off . by no means am i predator but im no prey either

 

[AGR]

By the way, there is an excellent Japanese movie on this subject called All About Lily Chou-Chou.

I saw this movie yesterday after your post,it was a really good movie imo,but I have never felt like kicking some fictional characters ass like I did with Hoshino specially at the concert.