Anyone find that people think they are rude?

[PennyLane]

I feel like, quite often people mistake me for being rude, miserable, moody etc just because im quiet..

when i was little they would say...ahhh she's just shy. Now it seems thats not a good enough answer and if im not talking it must make me a grumpy person!

 

[klytus]

All the time.

 

[jamie99]

Or they think i'm an asshole.

 

[FOR REAL]

i reckon, if you dont want to talk, dont talk.

you dont have to explain yourself to anyone.

i remember when i was 5 or something, we won a car at butlins holiday place in skegness

when we won it, we had to go to a really posh restraunt in london, with all these coca cola managers. it was like hell!

i was really nervous even at that age, so i never said a word.

like i say, you dont have to explain to anyone! the biggest person you meet, was a baby one time and will die one day

be who you want to be!
(i know its easier said than done)

im past the stage of caring what anyone thinks of me (sometimes!)

someone phoned me about half an hour ago and said "can i speak to the house owner"!

i said "no fk off" and theyve not phoned me back yet, if they do they will get the same reply! (along with a couple new "f" words i can think of)

THE TRICK IS, DONT LET THE BA*TERDS GET TO YOU.

 

[Moonie]

Probably. I am sure a mixture of things cross their minds. Mainly I think they view me as snobby, weird, or just slow. I don't really dwell on what people think about me- everyone is going to form some sort of opinion. The ones who count are the oneswho are willing to get to know the true you anyway.

 

[AGR]

I always get that my face gives the impression that I am shameless/Brash(I looked in the dictio,not sure if I am using the right words) .

 

[dooby-duck]

I often think people think all kinds of negative things about me. But the truth is I can't read peoples minds. I suppose most of the time the negative thoughts I have about the way other people see me are completely wrong. Doesn't make it any easier though.

 

[recluse]

I've been asked ''why are you so arrogant'' in my face when i was in my first job. It was hurtful because i'm no way arrogant, i thought that over confident people were arrogant? He was a mouthy asshole anyway, but it makes me think how people perceive me.

Other people think i am really nice and goody goody all the time because i'm shy.

Others think i'm boring.

Others treat me as a walkover.

 

[lurknomore]

I've been asked ''why are you so arrogant'' in my face when i was in my first job. It was hurtful because i'm no way arrogant, i thought that over confident people were arrogant? He was a mouthy asshole anyway, but it makes me think how people perceive me.

Other people think i am really nice and goody goody all the time because i'm shy.

Others think i'm boring.

Others treat me as a walkover.

Wow, this is almost like me exactly. At one job that I ended up quitting, I was accused of being a snob by the manager when I went in to pick up my last paycheck, and it hurt so much because the truth was the complete opposite, so I was almost in tears on my way out of there, because of course I didn't speak up and try to defend myself. That was over ten years ago, and I think I have more confidence now, but I'm sure some people that have just met me and haven't gotten to know me might think I'm a snob.

Recently I have had people say that I am boring (jokingly, but I know they were at least partly serious). But I try not to let what people say bother me, or let them walk over me because I'm shy.

 

[recluse]

That's horrible lurknomore. How dare they say assume things without knowing the facts!

 

[lurknomore]

:'( I've had people tell me that they thought I thought I was too good for them (when i actually liked them). Then at work, 5 or so years ago, my supervisor and a coworker thought I was giving them attitude because of my quietness and I was let go because of that (when i actually liked them). Its really sad because of how totally off people are of how I feel. Its alienating.

It sucks that people always seem to assume the worst about you simply because you're quiet. ::

Thanks Recluse

I think getting this attitude from people has led me to be the exact opposite when dealing with people... I always give people the benefit of the doubt, and try to think the best of them until the worst is actually proved. But I still shy away from people because I don't believe that they would ever give me this same benefit.

 

[zlench]

I get that just because I don't speak that often.

 

[dooby-duck]

I think being shy and quiet catches people off guard, they don't know how to take you. They have to work harder to discover who you really are. It seems that they can't do this so make assumptions that you are moody, or stuck up, or rude.

I think the lack of small talk really freaks some people out. One time whilst talking to a customer on the phone his attitude changed and he said "sorry for bothering you" in an angry tone. I'm sure that was because I hate phones, and hadn't done any how are you etc...

 

[Mikefly]

When im quite i feel like people judge me more and just want out of the situation if im stuck and can't leave i might be a little rude.

 

[dottie]

Wow, this is almost like me exactly. At one job that I ended up quitting, I was accused of being a snob by the manager when I went in to pick up my last paycheck, and it hurt so much because the truth was the complete opposite, so I was almost in tears on my way out of there, because of course I didn't speak up and try to defend myself. That was over ten years ago, and I think I have more confidence now, but I'm sure some people that have just met me and haven't gotten to know me might think I'm a snob.

Recently I have had people say that I am boring (jokingly, but I know they were at least partly serious). But I try not to let what people say bother me, or let them walk over me because I'm shy.

That sucks. At my last job, one time when I was alone wiping down the counters the owner asked me out of the blue, "So, do you think it's everybody else? Or do you think it's just you?"

I asked, "What do you mean?"

He went on about how I am so quiet. I told him I am a quiet person, that is just how I am and brushed it off although I felt humiliated. Eventually they stopped adding me to the schedule, indirectly firing me.

It reminds me of your story because obviously he was acting like my quietness made me a snob. Being quiet is not a crime! It's very narrowminded for loud, obnoxious types to expect everyone to be like them and dismiss anyone else who isn't. They have no respect for the fact that people come in all shapes and sizes (mentally and physically). IMO it's a form of discrimination.

 

[this_portrait]

Ugh, I always get sh*t for this! People just don't seem to understand. . .

 

[philly2bits]

Wow, this is almost like me exactly. At one job that I ended up quitting, I was accused of being a snob by the manager when I went in to pick up my last paycheck, and it hurt so much because the truth was the complete opposite, so I was almost in tears on my way out of there, because of course I didn't speak up and try to defend myself. That was over ten years ago, and I think I have more confidence now, but I'm sure some people that have just met me and haven't gotten to know me might think I'm a snob.

Recently I have had people say that I am boring (jokingly, but I know they were at least partly serious). But I try not to let what people say bother me, or let them walk over me because I'm shy.

:: thats horrible ::::

 

[lurknomore]

That sucks. At my last job, one time when I was alone wiping down the counters the owner asked me out of the blue, "So, do you think it's everybody else? Or do you think it's just you?"

I asked, "What do you mean?"

He went on about how I am so quiet. I told him I am a quiet person, that is just how I am and brushed it off although I felt humiliated. Eventually they stopped adding me to the schedule, indirectly firing me.

It reminds me of your story because obviously he was acting like my quietness made me a snob. Being quiet is not a crime! It's very narrowminded for loud, obnoxious types to expect everyone to be like them and dismiss anyone else who isn't. They have no respect for the fact that people come in all shapes and sizes (mentally and physically). IMO it's a form of discrimination.

I agree... it does seem like discrimination, and your manager was the one being rude, not you.

I've been at my current job for 10 years, and I'm pretty confident with the job, and am able to talk pretty well with most of my coworkers, takes some time with the newer people, but overall it's not too bad. I just finished school, and was hoping to get something within my career field, but it seems like it could be a while before that happens (economy, I suck at interviews, etc). So in the meantime I'm looking to possibly advance at this job. However, I was having a chat one night with my assistant manager, who I get along with pretty well, and who knows that I am competent and would do well with advancement... but he was saying that the district manager (who I've at least been acquainted with for a while, but not quite comfortable since I don't see her every day) thinks that I'm too shy and timid. I think it's wrong for people to expect you to be outgoing and a "people" person to get anywhere; I think as long as you can do the job well, and know your stuff, you should be able to progress. ::

 

[jamie99]

I agree... it does seem like discrimination, and your manager was the one being rude, not you.

I've been at my current job for 10 years, and I'm pretty confident with the job, and am able to talk pretty well with most of my coworkers, takes some time with the newer people, but overall it's not too bad. I just finished school, and was hoping to get something within my career field, but it seems like it could be a while before that happens (economy, I suck at interviews, etc). So in the meantime I'm looking to possibly advance at this job. However, I was having a chat one night with my assistant manager, who I get along with pretty well, and who knows that I am competent and would do well with advancement... but he was saying that the district manager (who I've at least been acquainted with for a while, but not quite comfortable since I don't see her every day) thinks that I'm too shy and timid. I think it's wrong for people to expect you to be outgoing and a "people" person to get anywhere; I think as long as you can do the job well, and know your stuff, you should be able to progress. ::

I'm just curious, how long did it take you to feel comfortable around your work mates?

 

[timidhorse]

People think I'm rude all the time. But not if you're in a library, you have to be quiet there. I wish for all my classes to be in a library.