Anybody here who can't work or go to school because of this?

[neurotic-to-the-bone]

Sorry if this has been a frequent topic already but I'm rather new here so I don't know and I'm curious..

I have other issues that have prevented me from work but I feel this is becoming a serious issue too. So I have had this work training at a rather large super market with a pretty big staff. I've been there a little over a month. The first day I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. It was a long time ago I was around so many new people. So I just froze up and couldn't focus at all at what I was suppose to do. I just couldn't make one move without thinking about how I was perceived. I felt sick and I just wanted to get out of there and run and hide. So yeah it was very obvious how nervous I was which made things so much more embarrassing. ::

Well, it got a little better after the first day thankfully but I still felt very anxious and tensed there and I just couldn't relax. Everybody have been really nice and welcoming and I hate that I can't respond to that. Instead I just feel like please don't talk to me. It's really nice when they are nice and say hello but at the same time I feel that I get focus on me and it just shines through how very awkward and uncomfortable I am. It's just that I look like a very "normal" person so to speak and I feel I can never live up to people expectations from when they first see me. In the beginning they can probably have a understanding that I'm nervous and reserved. But as the time go by and I don't open up as much as I should I just feel that I'm outed and I blew it. Point of no return.

So I felt I needed a break so I took last week off and visited a friend to relax and just get my mind off it and hopefully return in better shape. But today I was suppose to go back there and I just couldn't do it. The anxiety became too much. I know you're not suppose to do that. That you're suppose to face your fears but I feel it won't get me better when I have such bad experiences from it. Rather the opposite. So I guess I need to work on myself before I can take that kind of exposure. It's just more than I can handle right now.

But I have work training in two places though. This other place is a small company where there is just this other girl working and she's really easygoing as well so I feel much more relaxed there. It's like night and day the two places. I really like the work tasks much better there as well. So it's too bad she only has work for 2 days a week because I much rather be there. But I'm just glad that something works at least. Just to be a litte positive in this post.

 

[Feathers]

Hi & Welcome!

Yeah, a lot of people here have had work/school issues.. It really depends a lot on the workplace/school too..

I liked working in a small company better too..
(And I hate big supermarkets so sorry no big help there...)

If you need the job, maybe try to imagine it's a bunch of smaller shops linked together?
I think people can like you too even if they think you are more 'calm or reserved' (people have mistaken me for peaceful/calm when I was quiet lol!! Though nothing could be further from truth.. And I've seen it in others too.. So it may happen to you too!! Many more talkative people like quiet people a lot, as we can be 'good listeners'...)
Also, it's a job not a therapy session, and you don't get paid to talk there either, I guess? (Orelse you'd be a speaker on the radio??) So just take it as a 'job' and maybe find people contact/friends elsewhere? It may also be better not to tell everything to co-workers, actually it can be a smart career move..

Just know most people don't come fully equipped with a radar of what goes on in your mind and usually just see the 'front' or what you tell them, especially if they're busy.. And mostly they focus on their own stuff to do or own problems anyway..

I know some people where I live hate working in shops/supermarkets, especially with all the overtime and low pays, it depends where you live and what it's like I guess.. and if there are other jobs available?

I felt sick before some of my jobs (or classes) too.. Hope it gets better!!
Can you talk to someone else who works there or has worked there on any specific issues that you might have problems with, like how to do work easier or such? Sometimes they can also show a different perspective and when you see things differently you can feel more relaxed about it.. Be very selective in what you say and don't tell them what you told us here lol.. (especially if bosses can hear) Just be specific-to-task and general/vague about things, err on the upbeat/positive side..

 

[deivid]

"Just know most people don't come fully equipped with a radar of what goes on in your mind and usually just see the 'front' or what you tell them, especially if they're busy.. And mostly they focus on their own stuff to do or own problems anyway.." that's what i wanted to tell you because i kind of applied this when i started my night school clasees and seems to works just fine

 

[The Chief]

Totally can relate to this. I have walked out of several jobs in the past 3 years because of my anxiety. Im similar to you in that its ok to feel nervous when you're new, but I dont open up either, and as everyone else starts to bond and become relaxed, I just get more anxious because I worry Im going too look weird, abnormal, stupid or just plain ignorant!

I have taken jobs in banks, shops and call centres. I now realise this is setting me up to fail time and time again. These big places, full of confident people and customers, are not good places for me to be right now. One of my biggest fears is the phone - and yet Ive taken two call centre jobs in the past 18 months!! Sounds stupid I know, but I just want to be working, and trying to overcome my problem. However, I now realise that for the time being, I cant put myself in that position.

My last job I quit on monday - and was only there 6 weeks. In that time I completely lost it! I started to feel anxious on day 1 - and it just got worse. I would then turn to drink to self-medicate, and forget the day Ive had. I would blush if anyone spoke to me in the canteen. Infact, every morning I'd turn up red faced, beads of sweat on my forehead, and just dreading the first call of the day. I would also try and get there early, so I could already be logged onto my pc before others turned up - I guess so I wasn't the centre of attention.

Customer service roles are the worst - they usually involve phones, sales, role plays, presentations, and more often than not confident people who like to be the centre of attention. One of the worst times of day for me is lunchtime, when you feel obliged to sit around in the canteen, 'chatting'. This is supposed to be the best part of the day, but for me it was a case of keeping my head down, or fiddling with my mobile, hoping no-one would speak to me, as I'd clam up and go bright red. The alternative though is to go for a walk - which just makes you look ignorant. Can't win!!

 

[Forgotten-Children]

I felt the same way you did when I was in college. It got so bad that I started having thoughts of hurting myself so I knew the only way those thoughts would go away is if I dropped out.

I mean... I was so scared that I was having chestpains from constant anxiety attacks from being around so many people that I don't know. I could barely breath...

Of course... not having a college degree hasn't helped me get a job at all. Not that I think I'm able to get one but the government is convinced I can still do minor jobs... :/ So.. Basicly right now, I'm stuck at home with no job/money. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a debt to pay for dropping out of college and hospital bills.

So I know your fear.

 

[Emma22w]

I hate that my problems started at such a young age.. 15 yrs old. I developed social anxiety.. school was hell for me. I would sit in class and not move. At all. when i had to get up my legs would tremble horribly... then i got thru my freshman year, failed of course, then went into my next years of 9th grade. it got worse.i am now a hypochondriac, i stay depressed, awkward to talk to in person.. :/

 

[waine]

i managed to get through school, college and some of uni without medication. But could not have worked. Paroxetine has helped me finish uni by being able to give presentations. It has even helped me in my first job now working in a charity shop. I could never have imagined doing this. It was a training agency which forced me into it. Though the exposure just isnt working. My mind goes blank and i find it difficult to focus on the job and not think about others. The paroxetine enables me to appear normal, controlling heart rate and other physical symptoms but underneath i am the same.

 

[EscapeArtist]

I haven't been able to go to school. I'm not in school at the moment though I should be in my last year. I'm not able to get a job either, despite having no income coming into the family, there's a lot of pressure for me to get a job, I mean I'm living on rice. But still, SA holds me back.

 

[Blaze]

I am able to maintain enough to keep my job. I've worked at the same place for over 4 years now. I still don't actively converse with others, but I am able to have brief interactions without my SA really kicking in. I guess I'm lucky enough to be left alone to do my thing, nobody hassles me much.

School was hellish though. At least at work people are too busy to want to talk to me constantly. Each year of high school only got worse, and only a quarter into my senior year I told my counselor I couldn't take it anymore. I was able to be placed into a night school program in which I earned my credits by working on a PC for a few hours each day. Of course there was people there too, but at least I didn't have to see 100's of them.

 

[Emma03]

I tried to enroll in large classes when I was in school, so I wouldn't have to present anything or participate. There were a few small classes I had to take, and they were torture. I dreaded going to them.

 

[BlackPuma]

You were actually very brave to stick with your first job as long as you did. You should be proud. ;D

In terms of your condition, I'm not sure how much those 2 days per week are going to help you. But, at least you;re going someplace. It's at the very least a start. Just keep with it, relax, and be proud of what you've accomplished so far.

And when you're ready, make the next step. :3

 

[kj7]

I am afraid to go to school to be honest. I don't think I would be able to handle meeting all new people around my age. It would be rough.

I've had a job for awhile now and I am pretty comfortable for the most part there. I still do get embarrassed quite a bit and start to blush more than I would like but I have to deal with it the best I can

 

[groovy]

I just turned 20 and I've never worked, which sucks because I know that the only thing that's stopped me from sending out countless job applications is this SA. On the other hand, I do go to college, although I'm finding it harder and harder to keep a regular attendance.. it can just be a nightmare sometimes.

I tried to enroll in large classes when I was in school, so I wouldn't have to present anything or participate. There were a few small classes I had to take, and they were torture. I dreaded going to them.

Emma03, I know what you mean. When I used to have larger classes (up to 300 people) I was quite comfortable just sitting there focussing on what the lecturer was saying.. not to mention I actually knew people (from high school) in those classes. The hardest part about big groups was turning up late. Lol. You make your entrance and it's like every unfriendly, judging face in the world turns to look at you.. in utter silence. ugh not nice.

Now that I'm taking only small classes though.. god, most mornings I don't even want to get up. haha. I hate that you're expected to speak up and take part in discussions etc, not to mention trying to interact socially is hell. eww and presentations are the absolute worst. I have one next monday........

 

[Island_chic]

Working on yourself really means facing your tough hellish fears. Not doing something is a way to escape an attempt to try. You must go through those experiences..yes , see the bad ones are what eventually get better and that is the hell on earth of it part...it is necessary to help overcome. The even scarier part is getting older and things can get worse (being painfully honest here) by avoiding over and over. Plus you began to regret wasted time.

I 've been there. You must not avoid cause of bad experiences...thats what helps you overcome. There is no magical alternative. Taking small steps is necessary too.

 

[*eMmCaM*]

I HATE THE FACT I DONT OR DO NEITHER!!!!!! because of ma sa/sp!!!! i feel like such a low life!!!

 

[Tiercel]

I dropped out of college because of depression, anxiety, and uncertainty about which major to choose. And because of the first two I'm unable to apply for, land, or hold onto any job. And I absolutely hate myself because of it.

I feel like the more I try to change my life for the better, the further into the cracks I slip. But since it looks like I won't be dying anytime soon, I just have to keep trying. If I throw enough crap some will eventually stick, right?

 

[Dronee]

I feel like the more I try to change my life for the better, the further into the cracks I slip.

*empathy* Sometimes I feel that way too.

 

[neurotic-to-the-bone]

Working on yourself really means facing your tough hellish fears. Not doing something is a way to escape an attempt to try. You must go through those experiences..yes , see the bad ones are what eventually get better and that is the hell on earth of it part...it is necessary to help overcome. The even scarier part is getting older and things can get worse (being painfully honest here) by avoiding over and over. Plus you began to regret wasted time.

I 've been there. You must not avoid cause of bad experiences...thats what helps you overcome. There is no magical alternative. Taking small steps is necessary too.

Yes, I know that. But working on yourself also means change your way of thinking and how you feel about and how you look at yourself. You know working on your inside. Because right now I'm just so ashamed to be me and really, don't want people to know I even exist. So I feel I need to solve that if possible before I can take this kind of exposures. Like you said small steps. This was just too much, too soon.

 

[neurotic-to-the-bone]

You were actually very brave to stick with your first job as long as you did. You should be proud. ;D

In terms of your condition, I'm not sure how much those 2 days per week are going to help you. But, at least you;re going someplace. It's at the very least a start. Just keep with it, relax, and be proud of what you've accomplished so far.

And when you're ready, make the next step. :3

Well thank you, I try! It gets hard trying though, just trying to keep things going because you so badly want things to get better but at the same time you really just feel you need to break down and just want to lie under the cover in bed and just not care about this so called life. I guess this was a sort of break down with me not going back there. But I guess I just have to think of it like this saying I saw. "No one ever won a chess game by making only forward moves, just like in life, sometimes you have to move backward to take a better step forward"

Yes, it's probably not going to help much but it's better than just being at home all the time. I've know the feeling of that way too well. But I am going to try to find something else as well. Just something smaller that would be more suitable and a better place to start.

Thanks. I'm gonna try. It's just hard to be proud sometimes over something everybody else takes for granted though.

 

[CopenhagenCasual]

I had to go to school for five weeks (tomorrow is the last day).

That makes it 25 school days. Out of 25 I have skipped school 7 times (including tomorrow) because of SA...