EscapeArtist
Well-known member
When I post a new thread I purposely don't come back to this website or look at the thread for a couple days in fear of judgement.
Anybody else feel scared to post a new thread?
- Thread starter EscapeArtist
- Start date
U
userremoved
Guest
Yep, rejection can be just as scary online as in person sometimes.
Tiercel
Well-known member
It's always more difficult for me to start a new thread than to respond to another one that's already there. Especially that recent one I started for people to post videos of themselves. At the time I posted it my attitude was "Hell, somebody needs to start this." But when I came back a day or so later and saw that it had a few responses, I was rather hesitant to click on it and see what those responses said.
To my surprise, not a single bad thing was said about me. Nobody said how ugly I am, or how stupid I sounded. Not that I had a reasonable expectation of getting flamed or put down. But part of this whole social anxiety thing makes us dwell on how we're percieved by others. So instead of wondering how our new thread was received (like a normal person), we worry that we did something wrong and will be called out because of it.
So we can either be afraid and never post a new thread, or we can acknowledge that it's a problem for us and try to deal with it as best we can. And at least on this forum everyone else understands what we're dealing with. So nobody will ever give you crap for starting a stupid thread, or go out of his/her way to make you feel bad; those that do usually don't stick around long.
So I hope you don't worry for a few days before reading this. Most (if not all) of us have an unreasonable fear of (negative) judgement.
To my surprise, not a single bad thing was said about me. Nobody said how ugly I am, or how stupid I sounded. Not that I had a reasonable expectation of getting flamed or put down. But part of this whole social anxiety thing makes us dwell on how we're percieved by others. So instead of wondering how our new thread was received (like a normal person), we worry that we did something wrong and will be called out because of it.
So we can either be afraid and never post a new thread, or we can acknowledge that it's a problem for us and try to deal with it as best we can. And at least on this forum everyone else understands what we're dealing with. So nobody will ever give you crap for starting a stupid thread, or go out of his/her way to make you feel bad; those that do usually don't stick around long.
So I hope you don't worry for a few days before reading this. Most (if not all) of us have an unreasonable fear of (negative) judgement.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I posted this to face that hesistance. It's even rarer that I comment again on my thread hahaha...
And I really like your elaborate response to such a 'yes no' question! I very much envy those who seem to be able to define the 'whys'
And I really like your elaborate response to such a 'yes no' question! I very much envy those who seem to be able to define the 'whys'
Hellhound
Super Moderator
Noca
Banned
i post the odd thread, I mainly stick to the med forum though. We all have SA, and there are some really cool supportive/caring ppl on this forum. Keep posting, dont let your anxiety get the better of you. The more you post/face your anxiety the weaker your anxiety will get and the more control you will have over your life. On the other hand, the more you engage in avoidance behaviour, the worse your anxiety will get.
NinjaLikesToast
Well-known member
I am new to this site, but so far everyone seems very accepting. I have not posted and new Topics, but I feel very comfortable replying and starting conversation with people
Eam
Well-known member
I would like it if you could delete threads - that way if they die they aren't around to nag at you.
rainstreet
Well-known member
i think that most people don't pay much attention to others responses. their more concerned about their own. is that egocentric?
I'm occasionally scared to just post a new reply to something, I look it over 50 times to make sure that everything "sounds right" and such. That's common with new threads too, but I usually await new responses rather than almost wanting to ignore them. In the end, people never say I'm stupid or think strangely or anything.
I feel like this a lot too.
I feel like this a lot too.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Hahahah I do this too... rephrase, rephrase, rephrase, delete the chunks of wording I find unnecessary. I always have dictionary.com up to make sure my spelling is right, for instance, for words like 'unnecessary'... Then when it's all revised X 50 I look upon it with pride.... until the next day, when I return to my post with a different perspective.
It's weird, when I first joined this site I was never afraid or anxious about making new threads. I felt more anonymous. The longer I've been here the more anxious I've become. So that sucks.
But I also think part of my anxiety comes from seeing some of the responses some people have gotten on here. There are, or were, some very opininated people here. And sometimes if you're not politically or statistically correct about something you kinda get attacked. Or even just making generalized statements, you get attacked. Generalized statements are of course not a good thing, but I think it's wrong to focus so much on it and forget about what the person is even saying. I'm sure everyone has made generalized statements before, especially when they are upset, I know I sure as hell have! That actually kept me away from the forum for awhile, but I'm happy to see that there's not too much of that going on anymore.
I'm still anxious to post new threads though.. even just thread responses like this. I posted something on another forum about a month ago. I have not yet checked my responses and probably never will, I'm too anxious Which sucks because I asked a question that I really need an answer too! Ugh, stupid anxiety.
But I also think part of my anxiety comes from seeing some of the responses some people have gotten on here. There are, or were, some very opininated people here. And sometimes if you're not politically or statistically correct about something you kinda get attacked. Or even just making generalized statements, you get attacked. Generalized statements are of course not a good thing, but I think it's wrong to focus so much on it and forget about what the person is even saying. I'm sure everyone has made generalized statements before, especially when they are upset, I know I sure as hell have! That actually kept me away from the forum for awhile, but I'm happy to see that there's not too much of that going on anymore.
I'm still anxious to post new threads though.. even just thread responses like this. I posted something on another forum about a month ago. I have not yet checked my responses and probably never will, I'm too anxious
Which sucks because I asked a question that I really need an answer too! Ugh, stupid anxiety.
Last edited:
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
YES. It's so good to know i'm not the only one that does this!I posted something on another forum about a month ago. I have not yet checked my responses and probably never will, I'm too anxious
I mean wait, I don't mean that i'm glad you do this. Heh.
When I do this, I always expect it'll be a lot worse than it is. Usually they're surprisingly supportive. Even if they're not, facing fears is a wonderful, and horrible, thing. Looking at that forum would help you whether it's confronting critism, or receiving support. But of course I would never push you to go check it.
I think as a first step to overcoming posting-phobia i'm going to start banning myself from correcting my posts before I post them. A really small thing but then I don't obsess about what I just said. What I say shouldn't be such a big deal, as it is to me.
**** I just read over my post. Looks like i'm starting after this one