Anger

[UnOccupied]

Anyone else automatically keep there anger in?

I NEVER actually feel anger...i may get mad at times, but never actually release or feel it like i should...like if someone says something i don't like, i just pretend i don't care, and do anyhting i can to avoid a conflict by saying or expressing how i actually feel...aka, my face goes blank, and i act like nothing happened, like my eyes were closed.

Anyone else relate to this at all?

Lemme know, im having some trouble with this. I want to read something, like a book, or something to help with addressing and releasing my anger, instead of always just keeping it in...so unhealthy...1

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I may be like this.... i can't release anger by yelling or throwing things, which is a good thing.... sometimes i just don't care -.-'

 

[missjesss]

OMG YES YES YES I CAN RELATE SO MUCH TO THIS!!!

this morning on my way to work I was actually thinking to myself do I even have a personality left in me because I don't remember the last time I got angry out loud it's all been internalized especially ever since I got my panic attacks...

I know before all that started I would at least show my anger to my family members and partners etc but now I rarely show it to anyone

 

[sprode]

I used to. I used to just internalize it, never show it. Conflicts above all were the one thing I seemed to wish to avoid at any cost. I would rather take any form of humiliation and abuse than stand up for myself. Maybe I feared that they'd find out it was all true. Most of the time though I couldn't care less.

It still takes a lot for me to have an outburst (which happened today). I think being online though has had the... unfortunate side effect of making me express it. I've been accused of some things (lol, me?), so I do lash. Not that it isn't deserved. It is a useless state of misery though...

So I guess I don't win either way.

 

[***deleted***]

There are two types of angry people
the 1st gets mad at the cashier and vents out in anger, yelling and cussing out the cashier
the 2nd who after holding everything in for so long, pulls out a gun and shoots the cashier


forgot what movie that was from, but basically if hold everything in, eventually you will snap

 

[BlueDays]

..but basically if hold everything in, eventually you will snap

totally agree with this.

I think a person does need to find their own personal way of getting their anger out, or as in my case, you will end up having thoughts of doing something that you would never normally even think of doing.
I have still not found a successful way of getting years of pent up anger out of me yet::

 

[***deleted***]

same here, i want to take kickboxing, but SA gets in the way of that

 

[missjesss]

closetnerd

I thought you overcame most of ur s.a ?
how does s.a hold u back from doing kick boxing by the way??

 

[awkwardamanda]

Anger is about the only emotion I can't hold in. I'm a basket case sometimes. I hate to let anybody see me happy (not that that happens too often) and I hate to let anybody see me when I'm sad and depressed. But when I'm angry all hell breaks loose. I had a temper tantrum about an hour ago. My brother had let the cat outside and I got pissed off at him cause it was starting to get dark. His excuse was he's not gonna run away. I said yes, he'll take off for three hours. He said he's not gonna take off and not come home. I said he doesn't need to go out late. But it doesn't matter what I say. So my dad came in the house awhile later and told me to go get the cat cause he's way down the street. Of course, I went outside and couldn't find him. I came in the house fuming mad and started yelling about my stupid brother. I picked up a chair and started smacking it against the ground cause that's about the only way I can let all the frustration out. It feels relieving. I threw a box of tea against the table and teabags went flying all over the place. My mom was yelling from the other room that I'm 25 and acting like I'm 2. I put back whatever teabags I could salvage and had to tape the sides of the box shut. Then I grabbed all the bags off the floor, stormed off to my room, slammed the door and squeezed and ripped them to shreds. I wanted to cry but I just couldn't. I laid there moping for a while and now I have a bad headache and feel like complete sh*t. This kind of thing often happens when I'm angry. I don't feel better unless I've thrown and broken things or slammed a few doors. I'm not so sure it's just pent up anger though. I think it's a lot of pent up depression. I bottle up everything (not specifically anger), and then something sets me off, maybe even something minor, and I just blow.

 

[***deleted***]

I was doing really good last year, but I was going to class everyday and working.
I took online this semester so I can take half-semester classes and get more credits out of the way, and I got laid-off.
So I am back to how I was
Staying in the house is not helpful for SA

& there will be a whole class of people in kickboxing, so its scary::

 

[BleedTheFreak]

There are two types of angry people
the 1st gets mad at the cashier and vents out in anger, yelling and cussing out the cashier
the 2nd who after holding everything in for so long, pulls out a gun and shoots the cashier


forgot what movie that was from, but basically if hold everything in, eventually you will snap

lol, that's from Anger Management. I only know that because it has been playing on TV lately. It's true though, you need a release of some kind. I'm always afraid to show anger in front of people. I actually can't remember the last time I've raised my voice at someone. I'm totally different when I'm alone though, I'll yell out loud if I get pissed at something or when I'm criticizing myself :/ I must sound insane. In my youth when I got angry I'd immediately reach for something to throw, it was like an uncontrollable reflex. I've gotten better at...not doing that

 

[***deleted***]

ah, thank you, that has been buggin me. Funny that it was anger management.
I used to throw things too, I play video games now, or go smoke when i am angry. I used to make fun of people who played golf as a video game, but tiger woods is the most relaxing game in the world, for anyone that ever needs to calm down.

 

[marielb]

i am exactly like that,never seem to show my anger,i hate conflict

 

[Phoenixx]

I keep my anger in most of the time, but like closetnerd said, you eventually snap. I've already had my moments this year and they're obviously not fun. Sure, it kinda feels good once you release it, but I always feel so bad and guilty afterwards, whether or not I lashed at someone or threw something.

 

[lurknomore]

I don't think I let myself feel any strong emotion- and anger is one of those that I've suppressed to the point that it doesn't even try to come out.

 

[UnOccupied]

Thanks for all the responses everyone, they were all very interesting! I found a similar them in all of them. It seems that us SA people all have trouble expressing and feeling emotions, especially those that draw attention.

I think anger is one of the most important emotions when used right. I think it is the key emotion in cultivating change. I think what i will try to do is let go of worrying about "how" i express my anger, and just try to let it out at all times. If i offend anyone, or embarrass myself in doing so, that will be far outweighed by the gains i could possibly get from letting out some anger. It relates to prefectionism, and social anxiety. It doesn't need to be perfect.

Plus, i know mainly why i don't let out my anger. My dad is SOOOO agressive when he gets mad. He can't take criticism, and doesn't know how to assert himself affectively, when angry. Fathers are the main person a boy learns how to express himself from. Well, i saw the effect my dad had on myself and those around him my whole life, and was NOT going to be like that! So, all my effort goes into not expressing things, because i fear sounding/making others feel like my dad made them feel.


Please feel free to add any more opinions you wish!

 

[JesseJay]

After my anxiety and attacks started, I've avoided getting huffed and puffed about small stuff that before I would've snapped on. But when my anger is pushed, It's like the adrenaline pushes past the anxiety for that small second.

Anger manifests it's self in many ways and when we don't release, It finds another way out.

Don't know where I read it but meh.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

Im actually quite the opposite, when someone confronts me or says something that irritates me I resolve it fine, but when alone I may do something like throw something down (nothing that would break of course more like toss a metal pot aside)
The worst/ stupidest thing Ive done is punch a wall and put a dent in it, I obviously had anger management issues, but Im much more in control now

 

[NewtoThis]

Plus, i know mainly why i don't let out my anger. My dad is SOOOO agressive when he gets mad. He can't take criticism, and doesn't know how to assert himself affectively, when angry. Fathers are the main person a boy learns how to express himself from. Well, i saw the effect my dad had on myself and those around him my whole life, and was NOT going to be like that! So, all my effort goes into not expressing things, because i fear sounding/making others feel like my dad made them feel.)

My Dad is the only person in the world who has made me angry, probably because he is aggressive when he's mad and it hypes me up too. No one has irritated me the way my dad has, so I almost feel immune to anger outside of his house. When I visit Dad though... well if I mutter to myself like a crazy person I can keep from throwing things...

 

[Paahi]

I have always kept it in.