An angry rant

[wise_wind]

Hi guys,

wanted to share with you guys about my sorrows.

As a person suffering from social anxiety, I will always try to rush from point to point when in public to escape from the crowd. And I always want to reach home quickly as possible.

Today, I did the same. And when i came home, I realized my jeans was unzip. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated. I wonder how many people saw me with my jeans unzip. I actually feel like killing myself.

There are so many times when my bag was unzip and I have lost money ($50) from my pocket before. And now my zip.

I feel God/life/fate is very unkind to me. It has already given me social anxiety to suffer with, and now all these. I don't feel like living anymore.

 

[Queen_Regnant]

Try to calm yourself down, it is embarrassing when you notice it, but I am sure not many people saw it, if anyone at all. I don't believe that is something people notice very often since it's not normally in their direct line of sight.. And if you happen to be shorter then other people, then it's even further for other's to look to find it.

As for the other things, losing money is a big inconvenience but you can always try to look on the bright side. I know it's hard when you find yourself surrounded by negative happenings. Knowing you have SA, feel proud of yourself whenever you do go out and about and do what you need to do. "I was able to go out and do it despite!"

You could always make yourself a little checklist before leaving the house as well, such as making sure you have what you need and all your things are zipped up. It could give you a little piece of mind to avoid anything that might bring you down, such as your examples. That's what I do but only because I'm super paranoid about forgetting anything.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I agree with Queen_Regnant, I doubt very many if anybody even noticed. And it does sound like a good idea to take a few seconds to double check that everything is in order, it will probably be annoying at first, but it ends up being second nature and helps you feel less paranoid

 

[TryAgain]

Today, I did the same. And when i came home, I realized my jeans was unzip. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated. I wonder how many people saw me with my jeans unzip. I actually feel like killing myself.

Try to calm yourself down, it is embarrassing when you notice it, but I am sure not many people saw it, if anyone at all.

Furthermore, even if they did see it, they are unlikely to remember you or the situation at all.

 

[NamiraWilhelm]

Definitely the best thing you can do is just laugh about it It's not like people would have been able to see any of your privates!

You are human, you'll make these mistakes, but so does everyone. You need to show more compassion towards yourself.

 

[Sacrament]

Why do you feel like killing yourself just because your zipper was down? Learn to laugh at yourself and it'll make a huge difference in your life. I can guarantee you that not a single person is talking about it (and that's even IF they saw it). In the grand scheme of things, it's barely significant. If you allow yourself not to sweat the small stuff, things will be a lot easier.

 

[Mokkat]

If it makes you feel better, most people pay way less attention to the details and people around them than we anxious people tend to. If you didn't sport wide open pants and catchy colourful underwear I doubt that more than a couple of people noticed your open fly.

 

[wise_wind]

Thank you for your supportive words friends They really mean much to me. I'm feeling much better now.

 

[Argentum]

At least nothing fell out of your pants. I guarantee that people see weirder every day and forget about it. Sometimes people pick their noses or have their pants sagging so low you can see their boxers, and the second is done deliberately as a fashion statement.

 

[wise_wind]

Thanks for your reply Argentum

 

[arjuna]

With a bit of luck a hot girl saw that and you're on! But seriously, if you did commit suicide over an undone zip it would be bizarre. Do you have any more serious problems that you may be transferring to undone zips?

 

[Sarah_M]

I'm really sorry you experienced that- I can definitely relate. Most people are so consumed with their own lives that they usually don't notice things like that. If anything, at least you were wearing underwear, right? Well, I hope so anyway haha. In all seriousness though, my therapist has shown me a technique that has proven to be pretty useful in my own life- it's called deep breathing. Basically what you want to do is take a deep breath through your nose (using your diaphragm- not your chest), hold it in for a few seconds and then release out your mouth. You may feel light headed at first, but continue doing it 2-3 times until you begin to feel more calm and in control. It was explained to me that when someone is anxious, their breaths become more shallow thus not allowing enough oxygen to the brain and when there isn't enough oxygen to the brain you don't think clearly. So by practicing this breathing technique, your brain is getting enough oxygen to form clear thoughts so you can make better decisions. I hope that this helps you as it did me

 

[PugofCrydee]

having these smaller things happen to you is actually most likely a byproduct of SA.

When we suffer from SA we are always thinking about what other may be thinking about us. Our minds are preoccupied and this leads to making silly mistakes.

Such as (like you did) flying low.. or tripping, bumping your head, stuff like this happens when we aren't more 'in the now' and thinking more about what we ourselves are doing.

I've done so many silly stupid, embarrassing things - to myself I've lost count.

I know what I'll say next probably wont comfort you much, but try not to worry so much about it.
People have their own lives, thoughts, fears, anxieties etc.. 2 minutes after you're out of their vision they usually are thinking about something else.

 

[The Observer]

I feel God/life/fate is very unkind to me. It has already given me social anxiety to suffer with, and now all these. You are God, you are Life, you are your own fate based on the sum of your experiences brought upon by your thoughts. You have been unkind to yourself. Love yourself child so the healing can begin.

 

[SelfHater]

I can laugh about it now, but as a teenager I would often go commando if I was in a hurry and did not plan to be out long. I also wore button fly jeans. I was at a shopping mall and thought it was odd many people were looking at me strangely and one couple laughed as they walked past. That is when I felt a breeze in an area I should not feel one. Button fly jeans are not easy to button up discreetly and there I was in the middle of a crowded mall.....everyplace I went to turn around had more people coming towards me.