Am I a bitch?

[Vampayah88]

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[Kinetik]

Well I don't know if you're materialistic or not, but I think his lack of effort says a great deal about how he views the relationship. I find it hard to believe that any guy is genuinely that clueless when it comes to gift giving. I'm not well-off or anything but I do try to spend at least a couple hundred on the right sort of things to show that I'm invested in who I'm with. Not that gift giving or monetary value is that important, but I think basic things like half-decent birthday presents are the bare minimum of what you should get right.

 

[Vampayah88]

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[Rembrandt Broam]

He knows I'm not materialistic or such a pretentious person, but couldn't he think of anything thoughtful to do instead of getting me a bunch kitches cheap stuff? he even asked me a couple of days later why im not wearing his rings. I mean really?

It sounds like he genuinely thought you'd like the stuff he got you, or he probably wouldn't even care to ask about the rings. It happens sometimes. You get someone a gift you think they'd really like, but when they get it they're left thinking "Umm...yeah". Just wear the rings when he's around for a while, then quietly put them away somewhere and hope he chooses better next year.

 

[Lea]

I think you posted too little info about the whole relationship, except the poorly chosen birthday gift issue. I wonder why this reason is enough by itself to dump your bf, to me it seems like your attachment to him is not so strong generaly.

He might simply have different or not so good taste, but I aren´t there more important criteria to judge?

 

[Vampayah88]

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[BlackPuma]

Doesn't sounds like a materialistic way of thinking at all. Gifts are supposed (by modern standards) to show that you care enough to make an effort to do/get something special for the receiving end of the gift.

When he first forgets about it, and then buys random things it doesn't quite feel like that at all. Like you said, in those cases it would be nicer if it was a single romantic thing rather then many random ones.

Though, the fact that was excited about does show that he cares. He went about it in kind of a dodgey way, but it shows he wanted you to be happy with it. Some people just don't know very well how to channel how they feel about someone in gifts. ;3

 

[coyote]

In my opinion this is not about taste, its just about getting someone the cheapest and kischiest thing u could get, in a hurry,one day after their birthday(its not like he was even busy, he had plenty of time). It just makes me wonder if maybe he thinks im not worth it..Like I said, a simple flower wouldve been better. I didn't say im going to dump him, just..this left me feeling strange and not in a good way.

a lot of men tend not to think about gift-giving in the same way women do

it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with what he thinks about you

it's just that male social-bonding is different than it is for girls

some guys learn faster than others what all the proper protocols are

i imagine he is probably fairly young?

did he have any sisters growing up?

perhaps your next gift to him can be a little instruction book on how women expect men to treat them :]

 

[lilmutegirl]

I don't think you're a bitch, and I understand why you'd be disappointed. The fact that he didn't plan ahead for your birthday in itself shows that this wasn't a very high priority for him (maybe he is just distracted by other things, not that he necessarily doesn't care). That you don't like the gifts, but he thought you would suggests to me that maybe he doesn't really know what you like. Even though I view my ex-husband as evil, one of the best gifts he ever gave me was a small hippo figurine (probably cost no more than 5 bucks) for Christmas, because my favorite Christmas song is "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas." It was not expensive or extravagent by any means, but extremely thoughtful.

 

[Iluv]

At least he spent money on you. The last relationship I was in he stole some ladys necklace and gave it to me. But I understand where you are coming from when gift giving comes around the women tend to think of it as a reflection of the relationship. A cheap gift like that I get how you took it so wrong because maybe he doesn't view the relationship as really much anything. Perhaps he has a financial situation too, maybe he is just bragging about the money so you don't find out what's really happen. Anything can be possible, but I may as well say it's the thought that counts and talk to him about it. It will get nowhere is no words are spoken.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

The shirt was probably the main gift. Sorry if it happend to ugly but not all guys know what to get :/ A flower seems more like a Valentines gift.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I would feel the same way under the same circumstances. Plastic rings and badges? Sounds like something you get out of a gumball machine when ur 5.
Ugh that sux. Sounds like he's clueless though..asking you why ur not wearing the ring and such. Try dropping serious hints next time gift giving comes up. A lot of times I just buy myself what I want because I am usually so disappointed otherwise ha maybe I am a bitch? No we just have high standards

 

[Island_chic]

Maybe he's just not your type?? You sound angry towards him for some reason maybe other than the presents? Just a guess....How long have you been with this guy? What about the past B'days and Christmases?

 

[doubtmyself]

I think you posted too little info about the whole relationship, except the poorly chosen birthday gift issue. I wonder why this reason is enough by itself to dump your bf, to me it seems like your attachment to him is not so strong generaly. He might simply have different or not so good taste, but I aren´t there more important criteria to judge?

I tend to agree with this post.
My partner and I have been together a long time now. I'm starting to run out of ideas for her birthday. She is a typical female shopaholic so nothing is going to surprise her.
I'd prefer to give her money and just say "Here buy what you really want"
But I guess that is really insensitive and uncharming!!

 

[Vampayah88]

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[Aletheia]

not gender

You get someone a gift you think they'd really like, but when they get it they're left thinking "Umm...yeah".

The thought of this terrifies me, which is why I live in dread of gift shopping, which is why I tend to avoid it and end up getting crap at the last minute.

You could always gently drop hints about what you would like next year.

Also, people express their affection in different ways. My least liked ex was admittedly stellar at gifts; sadly this is the form of affection least important to me.

 

[Aletheia]

perhaps your next gift to him can be a little instruction book on how women expect men to treat them

This is perfect.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I tend to agree with this post.
My partner and I have been together a long time now. I'm starting to run out of ideas for her birthday. She is a typical female shopaholic so nothing is going to surprise her.
I'd prefer to give her money and just say "Here buy what you really want"
But I guess that is really insensitive and uncharming!!

no it's not Money is the best gift! beats toasters and ill fitting sweaters anyday.

 

[MollyBeGood]

We've been together for 4 months, but been really good friends for more than a year before we got together. Last year he didnt get me anything on my bday and avoided me all day saying he was sick(i still don't believe him). This Christmas he got me something nice that he saw I liked when we were out.

Does he not celebrate holidays himself? He almost sounds like someone I know who really is bad at gift giving because he doesn't do holidays. He did the same thing to me on my birthday, actually I got stood up and spent the day alone thanks to him (God I am too forgiving!!)..
wait I should expect nothing on Valentine's Day

 

[AGR]

I dont think you are and this doesnt necessarily means that you are materialistic,even if the present is cheap what should count is the effort,by your post it doesnt seem like you think he put any effort at all,just my opinion.