a rant.. need to vent

[Falkor]

Hi,

So this is something what keeps my mind busy all the time.
I just want to share my story
I struggle with my identity. I feel lost because of this.
In the past I used to be a tomboy girl, I didn't like to wear girly stuff.
Actually, I hated it. I got bullied pretty much everyday.
I felt hated, not accepted and people threated me like sh*t.
Nowadays, I feel more feminine. I like to wear tight shirts because I know It's sexy and stuff. But still, I like to wear baggy jeans and skate shirts (men shirts)
I also LOVE sneakers (etnies,DC,Nike) But I like to combine cool with feminine.
But I still think of the people who did ruin my life by saying I look awfull.
I don't like when people make fun out of this.
Because this all happened, I feel ashamed because of my own style.
I have a thing with Katherine Moennig, from L word. I like her style,
but I'm afraid if I walk around like this i don't look attractive.
But I also like to dress more feminine, I'm just weird :S


society tells me I should be that traditional girl wearing skirts,sexy boots, make up, and stuff. I don't mind wearing a little make up just to have my eyes more black, I like that. But I hate lipstick and sorta.
I don't like wearing skirts and I hate that I weared them just for the society to make people accept me and to be loved.

But it's not like i'm super guyish, I have my woman charms and I'm very romantic and I even like the colour pink. I have long hair and I don't mind wearing feminine clothes. but I never take a ladies bag for example.
and I don't like all that gossip stuff.
I'm afraid people find me ugly because of this. Because I'm not like all the other girls.
I'm just one of the guys maybe? Dunno. :/

But still, I'm afraid if people will judge me on the fact that I'm like this.
I think a lot about this, I struggle a lot with this.
And the people who have been bullying me, are just so mean :/
But still I think i have to be superrrr feminine to be liked.
I just want to be a little in between.

What do you think?

 

[BlackPuma]

I think you should stay true to your own style. There will always be people that judge for no reason at all. Even if you were the picture perfect character that is desired by the majority, there'd still be people against it.

The opinion of the majority doesn't really matter, as it's not based on anything important. It's just a lazy measurement grabbed out of thin air. If anything, we could use some more alternate styles for both genders. Remember, you're not 'just a girl'. You're a human/person first. If people feel obligated to dictate you on what you should wear, that's just their problem. You're not their property.

At the end of the day, you need to feel comfortable in your own skin/clothes. The people that made fun of you were mentally lazy to pick on such a personal and trivial thing like appearance.

 

[mmmm]

Like Puma said, there will always be crappy people who just judge you. Some of these crappy people like to admire the stereotype skirty girls while they make fun of you, some of them will think that your style is super-cool while they make fun of the girly girls. You won't win either way, so you might as well go with whatever makes you the happiest.

Look at it this way. If you dress in a style that you don't like, you will attract the sorts of people who are attracted to that style and you probably won't like them either. Dressing in your own style will help you to attract your sorts of people. No matter how people dress, they will always find someone who finds them attractive and someone who doesn't (most people won't care).

 

[Falkor]

Thank you Puma & mmmm

it's just difficult when people are so judging about stuff.
but I'll try to see like it's their problem, it's just difficult to believe in myself.
but I know that it is possible, it's a long way to go.

 

[Feathers]

You're an interesting unique lovely special kind of girl!!

Not all people like super-feminine girls or tomboys.. you can be your own unique mix of whatever you like!!

Most superstars and rockstars make fashion after their own unique ways anyway!!
(what makes them look good and feel good hehe..)

I didn't like skirts as a teen, I like'em now.. so taste & personal fashion can change..

many girls/women are 'inbetween', and very lovely too..

I was obsessing about fashion as a teen/early twenties too.. but you know what? fashion is just a way to sell more clothes haha.. you can make your own fashion!! choose what you like, even if it's a little 'offbeat' (and often people will say, 'wow, where did you get this?')

If you can find this book, it's very good about fashion too: ENDLESS ENERGY by SUSANNAH & LESLIE KENTON - maybe in a library or second hand shop? (It's an older book, I really liked what they wrote about fashion and dressing & living 'from the soul') Nutrition advice there: not so sure, and some other things - the part about what to wear etc is great imo though!

You're still young and looking for your own personal style.. It may take a while.. And most creative people evolve through/with fashion too.. like Madonna or David Bowie.. they reinvent themselves and help reinvent fashion too..

 

[Phoenixx]

I used to be a major tomboy when I was a kid. I always wore my brother's old shirts he outgrew and I never wore makeup. I hated to wear dresses and skirts, and I never really did any "girly" stuff. I did get teased for what I liked and what I did, I also got called ugly for that matter.

I've changed a bit since I was a kid, mostly because my interests changed as I got older. I wear a little bit of makeup now (Only a little foundation and mascara) and I dress more feminine. I don't wear skirts or dresses though, and I still love to wear guy's clothes from time to time. As far as activities go, I'm still pretty far from being a typical girl. :: I'm pretty much just a geek as I love playing video games, messing around on my computer, repairing electronics (I love learning how things work), and reading comics.

society tells me I should be that traditional girl wearing skirts,sexy boots, make up, and stuff.

^ This is what I hate, society. I hate the fact that it is mostly expected of women to be very thin, to wear lots of makeup, and to wear the things that show off certain areas. It's because of this that women, and girls, almost always fret over how they look. I'll admit that even I have my days where I think I'm fat, and sometimes (more frequently than I'd like) think I'm never pretty, no matter what I wear.

But really, just heck with what society thinks. Wear what makes you happy.

 

[Aden]

im having similar struggles presently although to a different extent that is. I've just came out from a 5 year social withrawal. quite literally i did not talk in school and such... I had an overwhelming fear of being judged. jumping to the present im forcing myself to be more outgoing at the very least. it is like building an identity again from scratch. everyday im trying to force onto myself a persona (i guess i can say not "myself") that is pleasing to society so to speak. sorry this may well be just a randmom rant

 

[Liam17]

Stop caring what people think, i have.

Be yourself, thats the key to happiness.

 

[superfluouslyme]

I used to be a major tomboy when I was a kid. I always wore my brother's old shirts he outgrew and I never wore makeup. I hated to wear dresses and skirts, and I never really did any "girly" stuff. I did get teased for what I liked and what I did, I also got called ugly for that matter.

I've changed a bit since I was a kid, mostly because my interests changed as I got older. I wear a little bit of makeup now (Only a little foundation and mascara) and I dress more feminine. I don't wear skirts or dresses though, and I still love to wear guy's clothes from time to time. As far as activities go, I'm still pretty far from being a typical girl. :: I'm pretty much just a geek as I love playing video games, messing around on my computer, repairing electronics (I love learning how things work), and reading comics.

I'm the exact same way. My first best friend was a boy. We played Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles together. I remember thinking all my girl classmates were silly for liking Barbies and braiding each others' hair. Luckily, I never really got teased for being a tomboy. Maybe because I was so shy and never drew attention to myself. I've have changed a bit, too, as I've gotten older. I wear foundation every once in a while, but I don't have a beauty regimen like my sister has. She spends an hour getting ready for work. It takes me 20 minutes tops. I hate dresses, and only once in a blue moon will I wear a skirt. The generally wear jeans, tennis shoes, and a tshirt with a funny/stupid saying on it. I do have a new affinity for khakis and striped blouses, though.

Anyhoo, be yourself, girl! The more individual you are, the more you are going to stand out, and in a good way I think. Wear what makes you comfortable, not what makes others comfortable. Everyone has their own style; embrace yours. I know that my style is based on a nerdy/bookworm/possibly homeless person, but it's mine and I don't care what others think anymore. When I'm old and gray, I want to be able to look back and say that I was me, both in dress and actions, and not what others wanted me to be.

 

[boro]

^ This is what I hate, society. I hate the fact that it is mostly expected of women to be very thin, to wear lots of makeup, and to wear the things that show off certain areas. It's because of this that women, and girls, almost always fret over how they look.

Dont hate society, hate the media pushing this sh!t.

Saskia, usually id say things like these are completely unimportant, but from reading your post you seem to get some satisfaction out of dressing how you feel. Therefore you should dress accordingly. Anything else is just appeasing of others at the expense of your happiness.

 

[Phoenixx]

I'm the exact same way. My first best friend was a boy. We played Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles together. I remember thinking all my girl classmates were silly for liking Barbies and braiding each others' hair. Luckily, I never really got teased for being a tomboy. Maybe because I was so shy and never drew attention to myself. I've have changed a bit, too, as I've gotten older. I wear foundation every once in a while, but I don't have a beauty regimen like my sister has. She spends an hour getting ready for work. It takes me 20 minutes tops. I hate dresses, and only once in a blue moon will I wear a skirt. The generally wear jeans, tennis shoes, and a tshirt with a funny/stupid saying on it. I do have a new affinity for khakis and striped blouses, though.

^ When I was a kid, I always played with Legos with my brother and his friend and I played with his Matchbox cars. I even played with Barbies on occasion. And yeah, I normally just wear jeans and a t-shirt. I love graphic shirts with stupid sayings too.

Dont hate society, hate the media pushing this sh!t.

^ Agreed. Thanks for clearing that up.

 

[superfluouslyme]

I even played with Barbies on occasion.

I remember on rare occasions playing with them. Usually, they were in danger and needed rescuing by my Ninja Turtles.

 

[JamesSmith]

I've been told I look or act like a girl a bunch of times, so I guess I can relate. Shyness in a guy is seen as a feminine quality and I've had to hear a lot about how I'm so similar to a girl. From what I've learned, the only people that really matter are your friends and family. Most of the people who insult shy people are people who don't even know the shy person for who they really are. Strangers say all kinds of random stuff, it never surprises me how judgemental the world is. It's best to do your best to ignore them and try to live your life instead of trying to please all the judges (people) out there.

 

[diesel]

Would you rather be yourself ot be a sheep ?

Do whatever feels right to you , don't worry about those around you - those that critiscise are just too afraid to be different or they are just dust ( i.e worthless )