...

[Requiescat]

SA is not genetic, but a person with a introverted personality will naturally be more likely to be sociallt dominated and their response to that will be the determining factor: face the challenge or run. There are numerous examples of people who have faced up to those turning points and have become very dominant. I myself have gone through many phases of both. In my early years I was very introvert, painfully so. But I didn't have SA. I went in to become extrovert and more socially dominant, and later suffered SA. If this was genetic, you could never change. Nobody could. This perception of genetics is unfortunately imparted by a sector of the scienctific community who hold some very dangerous beliefs to say the least. Listen to them and you can never beat SA, or have any appreciation for life in general.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

SA is not genetic, but a person with a introverted personality will naturally be more likely to be sociallt dominated and their response to that will be the determining factor: face the challenge or run. There are numerous examples of people who have faced up to those turning points and have become very dominant. I myself have gone through many phases of both. In my early years I was very introvert, painfully so. But I didn't have SA. I went in to become extrovert and more socially dominant, and later suffered SA. If this was genetic, you could never change. Nobody could. This perception of genetics is unfortunately imparted by a sector of the scienctific community who hold some very dangerous beliefs to say the least. Listen to them and you can never beat SA, or have any appreciation for life in general.

Well, tell that to Science who has done plenty of studies. Tell that to the participants who had family history of SA or introversion. Tell that to people I know who have SA suffering parents. Tell it to me who had an introverted grandfather and introverted dad. C'mon genetics does play a big part. It's complicated and we don't know when those SA potential traits will be triggered but it's there. And a high chance it is when you have SA suffering parents. Saying that it isn't is a denial. Well truth does hurt.

 

[S_Spartan]

Well its too late. I already reproduced a miniature version of myself after my earlier post.

Sounds painful!!!

 

[Zooman]

I agree with wncam. I believe without a doubt that SA is 100% genetic. I would never have kids for that reason. I really don't understand how anyone could feel right having a kid when they know their is a high probability of them having an extremely low quality of life. The truth hurts, but i'd much rather know the truth than be ignorant.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

I understand the concern for the child of two parents with SA (and that is a part of why I never intend to have children, at least not right now), but telling people not to reproduce can be pretty offensive. Sure, make people aware of the possibility of things affecting the child, but there's no good reason that any two consenting adults shouldn't be able to reproduce if they want and are able to.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Gosh.

Let's try to remember this is spider's thread about meeting someone from this site. It's about bravery and success and stuff. Not so much about making babies.

I took a trip to The Philippines and met a girl I've known on here back in 2010. I took a plane from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur which was about 12 hours, from there I took a plane to Manila which was 3 hours and stayed there one night, the next day I took a plane to Leyte island where I've stayed. I was worried about many things but everything went so easy about the trip. We have been talking a lot and I thought it would be a good time to travel a bit and meet her also. When I first met her I was a bit feeling nervous an my heart was beating fast, we were in a shopping mall. It was a bit difficult to talk in there because it is noisy and English isn't our first language, but it went okay. I have met her mother on that very day also at their home and it went fine also. I am usually very nervous around girls, but knowing that we are both shy, made me feel calm around her, in fact I never felt much shy to her, but I still get anxious at times when I'm around many people. It was great that we got comfortable with each other so fast, it was not at all how I imagined, it was so much better and I'm glad I met her. She is the only person I have talked so much with and meeting her felt very special. We met everyday during my stay and it was such a great time, can't wait to see her again soon.

Has anyone else here meet someone from this site? I'd like to know how it was :thumbup:

That's awesome to hear about, spider. Good going! :thumbup:

There are a few people that I'd like to meet from here but they all live so terribly far away. :sad:

I've had a few near-misses and there are people of both sexes that I'd love to just hang out with for a little while in spite of the fact that doing so would terrify me and freak me out. Logistics suck. Hopefully someday.

 

[anomicdeer]

Nice. I would love to meet people from here. Actually I have once now that I remember a long time ago but I think that person is in the military now having a blast haha.

 

[AlienGeranium]

First, Awesome spider! :thumbup: I've met a handful of internet and SA people, and it's always great when things go good, it makes all those hours you spent on the computer more real, like "right, I actually was talking to someone, and they're right here!" It can be a great experience, and if there's anyone you know from the internet you get along well with (and know enough about) I'd highly recommend trying to meet if you can!

Well, tell that to Science who has done plenty of studies. Tell that to the participants who had family history of SA or introversion. Tell that to people I know who have SA suffering parents. Tell it to me who had an introverted grandfather and introverted dad. C'mon genetics does play a big part. It's complicated and we don't know when those SA potential traits will be triggered but it's there. And a high chance it is when you have SA suffering parents. Saying that it isn't is a denial. Well truth does hurt.

As to this, mental health and illness is one of those things that falls between biological and environmental causes, meaning either both can be responsible, or one more heavily than the other. It's not like there is an "SA" gene as there is with something like schizophrenia . So when you have a study that fines a line of people who all have SA symptoms, the argument that it is due to being raised by parents with SA is just as strong, if not stronger, than it being some inescapable birth problem. A major way children learn is observationally, you know "Monkey see, monkey do," So if kids are constantly seeing their parents get nervous before making phone calls, avoiding eye contact at the super market, and generally reacting as an SA-er would, they are going to pick up on the behavior. So I think an argument can be made that upbringing and outside sources have a lot to do with a persons development here.

 

[Kiwong]

I did meet one member from here and it was a enjoyable catch up.

Life, despite having SA, can be both a wonderful and horrible experience, I wouldn't deny an offspring the opportunity to live. I love this earth, I don't hate being alive. I'm lucky to have experienced so many amazing things. I am lucky to have lived - the bad and the wonderful - I really have lived. As hard as it is life is worth the experience.

Maybe the generation would go to a better school, not get bullied, maybe their anxiety would be mild or not develop at all. I wouldn't deny a child that chance.

The thing that saddens me is my parents where great people, and they gave me some great genes, but those genes will not be carried on.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

First, Awesome spider! :thumbup: I've met a handful of internet and SA people, and it's always great when things go good, it makes all those hours you spent on the computer more real, like "right, I actually was talking to someone, and they're right here!" It can be a great experience, and if there's anyone you know from the internet you get along well with (and know enough about) I'd highly recommend trying to meet if you can!




As to this, mental health and illness is one of those things that falls between biological and environmental causes, meaning either both can be responsible, or one more heavily than the other. It's not like there is an "SA" gene as there is with something like schizophrenia . So when you have a study that fines a line of people who all have SA symptoms, the argument that it is due to being raised by parents with SA is just as strong, if not stronger, than it being some inescapable birth problem. A major way children learn is observationally, you know "Monkey see, monkey do," So if kids are constantly seeing their parents get nervous before making phone calls, avoiding eye contact at the super market, and generally reacting as an SA-er would, they are going to pick up on the behavior. So I think an argument can be made that upbringing and outside sources have a lot to do with a persons development here.

If you've read my other posts, I did say that it's not all genes related, the environment plays a part too. However, a person's biological trait has a big influence on a person's development. Some people have a biological characteristic that makes them prone to developing anxiety. Some people have a more active stress reaction that can be triggered or made worse as they experience problems. On the other hand, some people were wired to be tougher, to be less sensitive to stress. We can't deny this. There are lots of studies that says anxiety disorders run in families, how much for 2 parents with SA. It's like the child's almost 100 percent doomed to develop SA or any anxiety related disorder. Moreover, how can we be sure that the child would atleast get some added support from the environment if he/she's living with 2 parents who have anxiety? Yes, you can make the child join different extracurricular activities, but really those things aren't enough.

Even an adopted child can show certain behavioral traits coming from his biological family despite living with the adopted parents all his life. That's how strong our biological make up is. To say that SA can be easily prevented through effective parenthood and earlier exposure to social setting.... yes maybe there could be some improvement. But being born from 2 SA suffering parents? The chance to be that confident mentally stable person would be pretty slim. Maybe at the early age the child would show confidence, but how can you tell it would stay that way when his exposed to a more complicated situation? His biological trait already has that vulnerability, any life experience can quickly trigger that anxiety to go full bloom.

Again, you can't deny genes. Environment does play part. But for a child with 2 SA suffering parents, the biological influence is pretty high. That's the fact. That's reality. That's logic. That is Science.



PS I admit I was rude to say not to procreate. It's just I was more concerned with the 'offspring' perspective rather than the 'parents' perspective.

 

[PugofCrydee]

If Im married to a person with SA, yes we have the right to have kids. But then knowing the high probability of my kids getting that trait.... having experienced how miserable it is to live in that condition.... I will think twice before bearing an offspring.

You see, it's not because I dont want to have kids. It's more of -I'll find it cruel for that kid to exist knowing that he/she is doomed to have a life similar to his parents. I can say I'll do my best for him not to get it but genes is very strong (especially if you have 2 parents with SA), the potential will be there, I couldnt always protect my child and prevent him/her to experience any abuse from the outside world.

I wouldnt want it to be like 'Sweet pea, sorry you've got no choice, your mum and dad both have the condition. Don't worry darling we love you, we really want to bear a child so we made you exist. We'll both endure it together.'

It would've been better to have kids with autism or Down's sydrome coz most of them have a world of their own. But having SA --- you experience it, you're entirely aware of what's happening. And that sucks.

I couldn't disagree with your reasoning more.
But hey, everyone's entitled to their opinion.

 

[AlienGeranium]

If you've read my other posts, I did say that it's not all genes related, the environment plays a part too. However, a person's biological trait has a big influence on a person's development. Some people have a biological characteristic that makes them prone to developing anxiety. Some people have a more active stress reaction that can be triggered or made worse as they experience problems. On the other hand, some people were wired to be tougher, to be less sensitive to stress. We can't deny this. There are lots of studies that says anxiety disorders run in families, how much for 2 parents with SA. It's like the child's almost 100 percent doomed to develop SA or any anxiety related disorder. Moreover, how can we be sure that the child would atleast get some added support from the environment if he/she's living with 2 parents who have anxiety? Yes, you can make the child join different extracurricular activities, but really those things aren't enough.

Even an adopted child can show certain behavioral traits coming from his biological family despite living with the adopted parents all his life. That's how strong our biological make up is. To say that SA can be easily prevented through effective parenthood and earlier exposure to social setting.... yes maybe there could be some improvement. But being born from 2 SA suffering parents? The chance to be that confident mentally stable person would be pretty slim. Maybe at the early age the child would show confidence, but how can you tell it would stay that way when his exposed to a more complicated situation? His biological trait already has that vulnerability, any life experience can quickly trigger that anxiety to go full bloom.

Again, you can't deny genes. Environment does play part. But for a child with 2 SA suffering parents, the biological influence is pretty high. That's the fact. That's reality. That's logic. That is Science.



PS I admit I was rude to say not to procreate. It's just I was more concerned with the 'offspring' perspective rather than the 'parents' perspective.

I know biology exists, and plays a role in things, but I feel you may have missed my point. Just because something runs in families doesn't mean it is biological or genetic. For example. a love of baseball may run is one's family. I think most would agree that due to their makeup, but more the way they were raised and the way their family lived. My point was not discrediting that being born into a family of SA-ers could raise the likelihood, but that it is not necessarily a death sentence do to their biology.

And there can be a lot of physical components to SA, but it can very much be a chicken and the egg situation. Things like diet and exercise, and even simpler just how we control our mood, thoughts, and emotions effect the chemicals in our body. It can be a result of things that happen in our lives, as opposed to the biology causing the life.

I haven't seen any adoption studies on SA, but I found a handful of twin ones. They all found a low heritability, with psychological and environmental causes having a greater impact.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

I know biology exists, and plays a role in things, but I feel you may have missed my point. Just because something runs in families doesn't mean it is biological or genetic. For example. a love of baseball may run is one's family. I think most would agree that due to their makeup, but more the way they were raised and the way their family lived. My point was not discrediting that being born into a family of SA-ers could raise the likelihood, but that it is not necessarily a death sentence do to their biology.

And there can be a lot of physical components to SA, but it can very much be a chicken and the egg situation. Things like diet and exercise, and even simpler just how we control our mood, thoughts, and emotions effect the chemicals in our body. It can be a result of things that happen in our lives, as opposed to the biology causing the life.

I haven't seen any adoption studies on SA, but I found a handful of twin ones. They all found a low heritability, with psychological and environmental causes having a greater impact.

I guess we just have to agree to disagree. I could add more to this discussion but I would only mess this thread further.

 

[Xion]

Congrats.. I am happy for you...

 

[THeCARS1979]

I took a trip to The Philippines and met a girl I've known on here back in 2010. I took a plane from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur which was about 12 hours, from there I took a plane to Manila which was 3 hours and stayed there one night, the next day I took a plane to Leyte island where I've stayed. I was worried about many things but everything went so easy about the trip. We have been talking a lot and I thought it would be a good time to travel a bit and meet her also. When I first met her I was a bit feeling nervous an my heart was beating fast, we were in a shopping mall. It was a bit difficult to talk in there because it is noisy and English isn't our first language, but it went okay. I have met her mother on that very day also at their home and it went fine also. I am usually very nervous around girls, but knowing that we are both shy, made me feel calm around her, in fact I never felt much shy to her, but I still get anxious at times when I'm around many people. It was great that we got comfortable with each other so fast, it was not at all how I imagined, it was so much better and I'm glad I met her. She is the only person I have talked so much with and meeting her felt very special. We met everyday during my stay and it was such a great time, can't wait to see her again soon.

Has anyone else here meet someone from this site? I'd like to know how it was :thumbup:

holy shit i have to hand it to you

 

[Phoenixx]

Man, that's pretty great. :thumbup: I've always wanted to meet my online friends, especially those from here. I don't talk to a lot of users like I used to, as people drift apart, but there is still a handful that I continue to talk to outside of this forum through text, e-mail, and Tumblr (used to write letters too!) and have been for the past few years. I'm hoping someday I can make a meetup happen. Even if it's only with one person.