I was sexually abused when I was around 7 or 8 years old for months (or was it years?) by a friend of my father in their workplace. He was the captain of a well known charter boat that goes around Sydney Harbor. He'd let me steer the boat, play games with me, draw, joke around, he basically convinced me that he was my best friend ...
I didn't see him again until I was 15 or 16 at a function. My little brother and sister and I somehow found ourselves in a room with alone with him (I don't remember at all how that happened..perhaps my father left for a minute, I don't know...) I wouldn't say a word to him and could just feel myself burning up with anger, not wanting him to even breathe the same air as my siblings...He tried talking to my little sister, I reached out to her to pull her closer to me, and said "Don't talk to him". When I did this he grabbed at my arm and pulled me toward him. I screamed at him to let me go. When I looked up at his face he had the most evil and sinister look that I have ever seen ... I'll never forget it. And he was laughing at me...the most evil laugh, like he was in complete control and there was nothing I could do about it. He forced me onto his lap and just held me there while I struggled to get free, just to show me that he had won I'm sure, then he let me go, and left. That's the last time I ever saw him. I still haven't told my parents...
When I was 18 I was sun-baking topless on a rocky cliff overlooking the ocean...silly, I know, but I thought I'd be the only person around. I could hear a person walking around behind me - like they were walking back and forth - I thought to myself 'ugh...annoying bloody pervs...' so I sat up and started to cover up. A man in his 50s holding a newspaper came up to me, and asked if I would mind if he sat and read his paper - he was about 2 metres behind me to the left...I made it apparent that I thought it was strange he'd want to sit there when there when we were in such a wide open space, but said that sure, he could sit where he wanted to. He then started asking questions...where do I live, what was I doing for the rest of the day etc, then he asked if I ever sun-baked topless to which I blatantly lied and said no - I knew he knew differently, but I was completely creeped out at this stage, I somehow felt trapped. After more talk, to which I was getting more and more nervous and reluctant to talk or look at him, he then went on to say that he had a medical condition where his penis had to be sunned for a few minutes a day. I was horrified. But he took it out. But then the story got even more ridiculous...he has to masturbate in the sun at least once a day! I could not believe the situation I was in. I just kept looking straight ahead, but he kept talking to me, trying to get me to watch him. But I wouldn't. At one stage he even said that I could do it for him if I wanted. Eventually he was like 'you have to look at me or I can't c**' He kept saying it over and over and so, as disgusted and mortified as I was, I finally did. When he'd done his business he apologized over and over and was visibly ashamed and embarrassed. He couldn't even look me in the eye anymore, he told me that I was a lovely girl with a bright future and that he is so sorry for what he had just done, and then left. This whole thing went on for what seemed like hours at the time, but was probably about 15 minutes.
Crazy.
Tangent, I had a similar situation but with my father. I was made to pull my pants down, while he belted me with a leather belt many times growing up - right up until I was 16...I never have thought of it as sexual abuse, but I certainly knew that it wasn't right for a girl who is becoming a woman to pull her pants down in front of her father and get belted. He also punched, kicked, winded, threw me around the room. My stepmother (though we now have a good relationship) used to scratch at my arms. For years I had terrible scars on my arms that I would cover up with long sleeves, but thank goodness they've now disappeared. But it's the mental and emotional abuse that has affected me most.
My dad still belts my brother in the same way who is 14 going on 15. He also punches him and all the rest of it - the name calling, the put-downs. I hate that he's still going through what I went through, I HATE it. I wish my stepmother would stop talking about taking my brother and leaving and just DO IT already.
You and I are IMPOSSIBLY alike. That was almost like reading my own story!
