Seriously - most people are BORING

coyote

Well-known member
a lot of people are much deeper than you might think

the friendly small talk is part of the face they show the public

getting into deeper subjects (religion, politics, philosophy, etc) with people runs the risk of starting an argument, and can turn an otherwise pleasant encounter into a dreary affair

so most people shy away from such topics when they're simply chatting with strangers or acquaintances

it's not because they're stupid or have no opinion

it's because they're trying to be polite
 

Dwight

Active member
Ok, how about an even larger scale then. What if a galaxy is the size of my hand.
Are you saying the laws of physics wouldn't allow an entity to move through space at the same rate it does on earth?
And why not?

What if my eye was the size of the universe itself? What kind of laws of physics dictate what I see?
If you look at, for instance, galaxies colliding. Well we say it takes millions and billions of years for that to happen. But you can simulate it on a computer screen in 2 minutes. And everything in space obeys the same laws of physics that they do on earth.
Maybe, on a universal scale, where the universe is the size of my house, 15 billion years has gone by to us. But for an entity in the much larger universal scale, it's been 15 minutes.

It has something to do with the correlation of time and space.
Because I just don't think the universe works only to our scale of understanding it.

Certainly, humans don't have the complete understanding of the universe, far from it.
You are asking me to imagine an eye as big as the Universe, and yet say that laws of physics may not apply to some settings, if I understand you correctly.
Based on this argument, I can say that this eye will not be able to see anything, and it's structure may be simply too different for us to understand and describe, it may not even be an eye, but something we think is an eye.

To be honest, I prefer more concrete matters rather then some metaphysical fantasies about the Universe, there are laws of physics, and laws of logic, and as far as I know, they apply everywhere in the Universe. We can imagine anything we like, but what's the point? There are so many interesting things that are concrete.
 

Dwight

Active member
Do you consider yourself to be above average or better than the "average people" you communicate with? Has it occurred to you that what may be deep for you may be boring to someone else or vice versa? I may be wrong, but what I'm sensing from your OP is that you look down on others and consider yourself to be superior. You claim not to be elitist, but your words seem to reflect it. Believe it or not, these "average people" can sense this sort of thing. Don't be suprised if they don't want to take some time out of what is probably a busy day to sit down and have a deep conversation with you.

One more thing I thought I'd address...if you don't have SA, shyness...you're here because you suffer from depression, HH, agoraphobia, OCD, love shyness?

I'm not trying to have a deep conversation with everybody everywhere, people always exaggerate everything to nth degree. It's just that as I get to know some people more, I don't see anything besides parties, shopping and sports.

YES, I AM NOT PERFECT EITHER, AND I MYSELF LIKE THE THINGS MANY OF THESE PEOPLE ARE INTO (guilty, guilty). But why embrace the fact that many (NOT ALL, FORTUNATELY) people are only capable of small talk? It is bad, that's all I wanted to say, I never said I am an elitist, and that I'm better then them.

I don't suffer from any of these conditions you mention, except, maybe, love shyness. Although I wouldn't consider myself shy, my life is very similar to the life of a love-shy person (no romance).

Happiness is a choice, and I chose to be happy and enjoy my life no matter what. It doesn't always work, but works often. And I was able in many ways conquer the social inhibitions I had because of the depressing attitudes I had before.
 

Dwight

Active member
The people I find most interesting aren't angry about the world, don't generalise, and see hope rather than negativity.

I see what I see. If I see something positive, then I say it's positive, if I see something negative, I say it's negative. Many people are boring, it is 100% subjective, but it's true for me. Well, boredom is not negative, better to be boring then violent.
 

Lea

Banned
I don't feel the OP was an elitist or a stuck up person, it's just a point of viewing things.. only the fact that you see the faults of human society doesn't mean you can't love people in some way.. and vice versa. Just the fact of being blind to these faults doesn't make you all altruistic and loving. I went through some extreme world views esp. in my teenage, but now I think got more balanced in perceiving human society. I see it's faults but accept it as it is.. I have much more trouble with myself, as in comparation to other people I feel like complete incapable and uncreative stupid zero. I am not a team sheep but otherwise I am no better than them :D.
 
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Dwight

Active member
I wish you considered our if not my feelings before you post about people being boring before you start your rant in these forums.

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I don't think I insulted anybody, or at least I didn't mean to. I'm new to this site, and maybe some things I just don't know yet.

But I still like to thank you for bringing these issues to my attention.

I somewhat understand how you feel though, because I feel I can't keep up (sync out) with small talk people makes about people and things, and rather more interested into deeper more meaningful ideas as conversation that gets us or other people somewhere.


These people are not only shallow, but also intolerant of people like us. This world (or at least Western civilization) is built for outgoing extroverts who have lots of friends, who easily socialize. They are looking down at people who don't fit in with this characteristic.
 

MsBuzzkillington

Well-known member
Sure, I should love everybody. They spit in my eyes, I say "Oh, paradise!"

No, you can not like THAT person. But don't say, "Well everyone who like baseball is going to spit in my eye, because people who like baseball are jerks!"

So, according to this view, if Nazis hated Jews, then Jews shouldn't hate Nazis. In my opinion, evil can't be tolerated, and when something is bad, it cannot be accepted.

EVIL?! Are you seriously saying that people who talk about baseball and movies are, *gasp* EVIL!!! Are you really saying that people who don't share your interests are evil? Because that is what we are talking about here. We are talking about accepting that others have different interests. You have had a few encounters of people making fun of you for being different, it still exists today. It doesn't go away with age.

How about hating the people who are jerks? There's an idea? If someone is rude to you or puts you down. Hate those people. Don't surround yourself with those people. But to generalize everyone who is into this big pop culture thing and say that they are all beneath you and bad people and you don't want anything to do with them? That's not cool.


I love a lot of mainstream things, I guess I wasn't clear on something. It's just that many people consume this popular culture, mainstream or independent, without any thought, and view the world through what they learned there.


Why is it so important to you that there be some kind of deep thought going on in every day life? Why are your views and your thoughts and your conversation topics more important and more credible than theirs? Because those things are important to you, again, to you. Those things are important to them. Just because you don't relate doesn't give you the right to think they are stupid. They just have a different life, a different view on the world. Also, just because someone talks a lot about mainstream pop culture, doesn't mean when you get them into a different setting (not work or school or a mall) they aren't capable of intelligent conversation. (your idea of intelligent conversation that is)


Culture is nothing, by the way, in comparison to what kids learn from their peers and environment.

I am sorry but culture IS a learned behavior from your environment and peers on how to act. That is the definition of culture. "A LEARNED, SHARED, understanding among a group of people on how to ACT and what everything means."

That's where they learn truly evil stuff that contributes to the problem many people on this forums have.

And the truly evil stuff? I am still not grasping how you are connecting mainstream pop culture to bullying and jerks. I would imagine you are into logic? Mainstream culture does not equal an jerk. Not all people who are jerks are into mainstream culture. Some people are very intelligent. You know, they talk about physics and biology and politics. They go to art shows and operas and drink fine wine while eating fine cheeses. Those people look down on the "others" below them, those who aren't as sophisticated and classy as they are... and scoff. I have definitely been harassed before for not being smart enough.

You are saying people who don't talk about the things you enjoy, are stupid and evil. You are saying it's not right because those people create problems for people like us.

Because it's not what you like in life, it's how you treat people.



I don't stereotype, unlike those bullies who do, I bet, don't even know the word "stereotype". It's just clear to me that only a minority of people actually think, invent, and move this society forward. The majority is just followers. This is the truth, fortunately or unfortunately, and if you observe the society a little bit more, you will see that too.

You say you don't stereotype, yet you made an entire thread talking about how boring people are. You are referring to a certain group of people. You aren't talking about a select few you have run into and they treated you badly. You are talking about an entire group of people you have never met and saying that you are justified in hating them. You are basically saying that anyone who likes the mainstream pop culture is beneath you (and I am sorry but you ARE saying this) and that they are rude, and evil and boring people. If that isn't generalizing and stereotyping, I don't know what is.


So there are some people who are scientists and inventors. Great for them and and great for us. That does NOT make them any better then anyone else.

I didn't start it! I'm actually a friendly guy, and I honestly don't see how could someone hate you because you are different. But if they hate me, as I said, I'm not going to love them or even have neutral feelings towards them. They are scum, they are bastards.

You didn't start it? You do realize that you can stop it, right?

You are hating people because they are different than you. Come on, don't you see that?

"It's always fun to judge, everybody judges everybody all the time, and then they talk nasty **** behind the back (not everybody does it, but it is quite common). I'm judging society as a whole, not one particular person. If I see something is wrong, why not talk about it?"

I don't judge people. I give them the benefit of the doubt to either prove to me that they are worth my time or prove to me that they are not worth my time. This all is depended on how they treat me and other people.
 

Cynic

Well-known member
Yes, as much as I want to stay positive, I just have to admit that most people around present absolutely no interest to me. And how else can you use to describe these animals who usually have no other interests except eating, drinking, sleeping, sex and maybe some stupid sporting activity?
I'm not superhuman either, and not even Nietzsche fan (hate this bastard!). I just want to talk about intelligent, deep subjects, while most people around me seem incapable of it.
I'm taking classes in college, working for state agency in an average American city in the state of California, so I communicate with what you may consider "average people". From my observations of these "average people" I noticed the following topics that get their attention:
1) Their health - "I am sick", and "I'm feeling better" is N1. They like to discuss their health with detail, as if they are talking to doctors. Usually their diseases are nothing more then cold or allergy, but they make it look like they got cancer.
2) What they ate for lunch - It's much easier to go and try rather then discuss. It is interesting that unlike me, most of these people never tried anything more sophisticated then pizza, sandwiches, burrito or Chinese take-away.
3) Their husbands/wives, kids - It is especially painful for me to hear since I never had a girlfriend and had only one disastrous sexual experience 5 years ago (I will discuss it in some other post). But I don't care much if their sister Suzy is working in a bank, or their husband Ben is a plumber. Their kids school and university "successes" present absolutely no interest to me either, as most likely these "successes" will lead to more unexciting careers like their parents. When these bores talk about how their son (of a bore) is getting married, I only hope his future wife will have enough taste to file a divorce.
4) Sports, music and movies - Sports, with the exception of soccer, present no interest to me, how can anyone seriously like football or baseball? Their interest in movies and music usually don't go past Hollywood blockbusters or what is on the charts, and comments sound something like "I love this song", or "This was a cool movie, __________ was hot, and there was a cool shooting/romance".
5) New gadget - No comment

With younger people it's even worse, text messaging teenagers who only care about the new iphone, party with alcohol, and new boyfriend/girlfriend, who often doesn't know what the capital of China is and can't add 53 and 46 without a calculator is a disgrace.

Often these people are also highly intolerant, and can't even imagine that somebody who is 29 can be sexually and romantically inexperienced, and prefers depth to meaningless chatter. Many are also racists and homophobes, although few would admit it (it's actually not too bad in California). A large number of people attend churches, but they never even think of questioning or even taking a closer look at their religion.

I'm not saying that I am one of the elite, not at all, but at least I try to achieve something meaningful, I am a musician, and also plan on getting into journalism, I have a purpose in life, while most people are kind of like zombies - "work, school, home, party, vacation, shopping", and that's pretty much it.

Luckily, there are people around me, with whom I can communicate on politics, history, philosophy, and various cultural topics, but we are, unfortunately, the minority.

I'd like to also note that I do not have any social anxieties, I can meet and talk to people all right, and often initiate conversations, I am not shy(not much at least), I sang on stage, I have quite a few friends (about 10), but I do feel different, I don't feel like I belong in this consumerist culture, while most people are poisoned by it since the early childhood.
That sounds like most people I've encountered here in Britain. Most people are just into drinking/sex/TV/fighting etc. Nearly everyone likes soccer over here, so you would be well at home here. ;)

These people are not only shallow, but also intolerant of people like us.
100% true.

So SOME people aren't tolerant of people who have different views than theirs. Some people don't like people who are "different". Not everyone is like that.

You can't hate every single person who is interested in mainstream things. Not everyone is the same. Not everyone is a snob.
Its more than some, and yes the majority of people are like army ants who need to attack "outsiders" to validate their own worth. It's tough but the way of the world.


No, an eye for an eye leaves everyone looking like Gordon Brown. Terrible joke which is well past its use by date, but i couldn't resist.
Ha ha!
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Sometimes if you completely isolate yourself (no human contact, not even a TV, computer, electronic of any kind, books, reading of any kind, anything with a false sense of company) you learn to appreciate any kind of human contact. Perhaps doing this may present some revelations- like social-fasting. It's something I've always wanted to do when I lose my appreciation for others

It is also quite similar to when you are really tired of somebody and just need some time away... Except with the whole human race


EDIT: I realize now that for some this may be a horrible idea if that alone-ness becomes "safe" in some way. (although for me, without electronics it would be impossible for me to stand isolation)
 

Hastings & Main

Well-known member
You could try living in a different neighborhood.

The area I'm in is rife with artists, musicians, poets etc and it has a very high concentration of multi-ethnic food shops and restaurants. Lots of ethnic groups, political groups (used to be a hotbed of neo-Communists and hippies here. It was a nice culture clash). Like Greenwich Village back in the day, but smaller, less creative, and Canadian.
Does your city have an area like this?
I used to live in a very plain shopping-mall-oriented neighborhood and it drove me absolutely nuts. Everyone looked the same, talked the same, worked the same, went home and sat in front of the TV and watched the same sit-coms and sports and all talked about them the next day. Never deviated from McDonalds unless they went to Burger King. The Truman Show. I tried talking it up with people about arts and society and all that stuff and I was most always given a sort of visible shudder and an 'Excuse me, I have to go now'.

This is perfectly awesome for those comfortable with it. So please don't anyone set up a contract on my life thinking I'm anti-status quo :). That opinion doesn't set me on a pedestal; if anything, it's always made me even more uncomfortable with myself for being "different".

But for some of us, the only way to preserve our remaining sanity is to not be a part of that.

Uncomfortable with a certain type of personality, seek those who are in the same mental space.
We're different everywhere.
 

JamesSmith

Well-known member
I'm more of a guy that just plain thinks a lot of people are boring. It's what they talk about that is usually boring. Many people are self-centered egoists. I don't really care if what people like is mainstream or not, it's just boring when they talk about it. My main issue is that people talk about stuff with no meaning, which is what the OP mentioned. Like I don't care if you got your car washed today, or what you ate for lunch. I'm like a lot of other people, i'm egotistical too. Am I a hypocrite? Well yeah, obviously.

It's always this never-ending conversation that goes nowhere with so many people. So many people are so freaking fake with their fake interest about other people. They don't really care about your life, their just listening and acting like they care because it's socially acceptable to do so and will be more liked for doing that. No that's not always the case, but it often is.

A perfect example is if you go to a club. Any guy that hits on a girl has no interest in the real personality of the woman he is hitting on. He just wants the pleasure of having sex with her. He is out for himself, like 95% of other people are.

I'd like to add that the main reason I left my former friends was not only because of anxiety, believe it or not. It was because of boredom. And just so you know i'm not a hypocrite, I'm even more boring than these people I'm complaining about. My complaint is about most people on the planet for being boring, including myself.
 
I haven't met most people, so I'm not going to judge their boring-ness just yet. I do know that for every time I've been bored by someone, they likely felt the same about me. No one person is above being dull, and to say that most people are is a gross overstatement. Not everyone is going to tickle your fancy. Get used to it.
 

GhoulsNightOut

Well-known member
Well yeah I guess most of us are pretty boring, sorry for not being more interesting lol

Mm...it's ok. hahah


Well I don't understand why some people are getting mad over this. It seems like you guys are taking it as if he's calling YOU boring and as if your approach to life is the correct one.
 
I think maybe OP may have been hinting at some other things, which I will (with much pleasure) ellaborate upon, on his behalf here.

How "boring", probably has elements of the following:
--> How "dull"
--> How "dumb" or "stupid" or "unintelligent"
--> How "borish"
--> How "common"
--> How "hedonistic"
& maybe
--> How come they're all these things?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think, for somebody to be truly "boring" (if that exists), it might depend on them having a good amount of "low grades" in some or all of the below categories:
("more boring" = "MIGHT be more likely to be "boring"", according to OP's "definition")

What they do: (Main set of activities they do, in spare time)
Drinking, Sex, TV, Fighting (MORE boring)
Parties, Shopping, Sports ( " )
Engage in an endless series of "experiences" (ie do'ers, not think'ers) ( " )
Philosophising, Intelligent conversations, Creativity (LESS boring)

What they talk about:
Meaningless chatter (like hens in a hen-house) (MORE boring)
Reasonably intelligent talk (LESS boring)

What they think about: (& attitudes/beliefs)
Intolerant, shallow, self-centered thoughts (MORE boring)
Open-minded, genuinely interested, loving thoughts (LESS boring)

What they feel:
Negative feelings (MORE boring)
Negative feelings (LESS boring)

IQ/Social-IQ/Emotional-IQ:
Lower (MORE boring)
Higher (LESS boring)

Morals:
Lower (somewhat immoral) (MORE boring)
Borderline (moral "gearsticK" in neutral; "fine line between good & evil") ( " )
Higher (very moral) (LESS boring)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are always specific reasons for people to be/do as they are.
Such as engaging in "meaningless small-talk" to be polite, get along, and avoid disagreement/argument.
Another reason is that they're simply too tired to think, let alone engage in "intelligent conversation" - they have just enough energy to talk and do, but not enough to "think".
But there are also general reasons for people to be/do as they are, and these underlie all specific reasons.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In terms of the more "general", the below ratings for any person has a fairly large bearing on the above categories (& :. on how "boring" they may be)...

Level of "personal/human evolution" (level of living):
Lower (animalistic, degradation, hedonism, base-ness, etc) (MORE boring)
Low (living "unconsciously"; on "auto-pilot"; reacting not acting) ( " )
Higher (LESS boring)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The below system, is even more accurate in predicting all the above stuff...

* Each of the 9 levels has a rating of 1-10 for every person. See if you can guess YOUR ratings!. Generally, the higher the scores a person has on the more lower levels, the more "boring" they will be as a human being.

Physical
Pure Physical
Vital in Physical
Mental in Physical
Vital/Emotional
Physical in Vital
Pure Vital
Mental in Vital
Mental
Physical in Mental
Vital in Mental
Pure Mental
Spiritual
(left this out, since it exists only rarely in humans at this point in our evolution)

* "Current State of Human Evolution: At this point in human evolution most individual's lives are primarily focused and centered primarily at the vital plane (of desire, wants, feelings, which fall within levels 6, 5, and 4), with a degree of touching on the mental plane. A significant but smaller group of humans also live at the mental level. For most of these individuals the development is predominantly in the lower parts of the mental plane as opposed to the higher. The focus is on processing information and thought gathering rather than the pure thinking, reasoning, and conceptualizing new ideas and possibilities (as in level 1). Only a small number of individuals live at this higher level of conceptual mind (level 1) of pure, rational thinking. Finally, only a very few also live at the higher planes of life, spiritualized mind where one is able to perceive information in silence, illumination, intuition; gaining more of, the full essence of the integral, perfect truth in the pursuit of the object of knowledge"
 
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X-Rated

Well-known member
Well, I understand what the OP has been trying to say. Through MY EXPERIENCE, most of people I met are shallow individuals who do the same repetitive and mainstream things and push you aside if you're different. The society has been built to suit outgoing people . It always has been like this. Let's take for example , the lives of some great scientists, poets , novelists and so on. They were neglected,lived in poverty ,isolated from the world, and often only after their death they were regarded as GREATS .
It's not about doing or liking mainstream things ( i also like mainstream things); it's about judging and pushing someone who is different than you at the bottom of the heap.

I also think that we tend to categorize people too quickly as "shalow, dumb , or stupid" as a defense mechanism that we had developed while we were bullied or had some traumatizing experience
 
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