Seriously - most people are BORING

[coyote]

I think for a lot of people - the topic of conversation is not as important as the interaction itself

small talk about all those inane subjects is merely a device for the REAL excitement - and that is interacting with another human being, feeling them out, getting to know them, bonding, connecting, and even flirting

the words, the topics, are not important - it's the face time

it's about voice, inflection, emotion, facial expression, body language, posturing, touch

in-depth conversations about "important" things are actually quite boring to many people, because in order to have those conversations, you actually have to pay attention to the words rather than simply interacting on a more primal, instinctual, and more exciting interpersonal level

polite, casual conversation - "small talk" - isn't about the exchange of ideas

it's about establishing relationships

 

[krs2snow]

"Boredom is just the reverse side of fascination: both depend on being outside rather than inside a situation, and one leads to the other.” Quote by Arthur Schopenhauer

This sums everything up that I want to say. But, to rant, the OP is self-involved. He has difficulty relating to others and hence sees himself as so very very different that he thinks he's actually too intelligent to communicate w/other pple. I think this is a common occurence. PPle like to believe that they're different. Pple see the Hum-drum that is life and they want to believe that they will live a more fulfilling life than those "boring" pple surrounding them. But, the boring truth is that u're no different.
Ur just another person. Like millions and millions of others, ur viewpoint has probably already been expressed by someone b/4 u. The OP hates that the pple around him are talking about lunch or getting their car washed or their experience at the grocery store or what their kids are going through. Well, what's the OP talking to anyone else about? Nothing? Does he leave conversation behind and remedy his self-esteem by telling himself he's too intelligent to have these conversations? How very intelligent is he? He's too intelligent and too bored to be bothered to hold a conversation w/pple?! Too smart to make a connection with the average "Joe"?! I'd say that shows the exact opposite of intelligence. An intelligent person, Imo, should be able to have mundane conversations w/whomever he comes into contact with for the advantage of making a connection. An intelligent person should be able to inquire of others, himself and the topic at hand and make it more interesting by adding his point of view, his observances, his perspective. While at the same time, communicating and connecting w/other pple. If the OP's bitching about the fact that everyone else is so very boring to him, he probably doesn't want to look at how boring He is to everyone else.

 

[JamesSmith]

"Boredom is just the reverse side of fascination: both depend on being outside rather than inside a situation, and one leads to the other.” Quote by Arthur Schopenhauer

This sums everything up that I want to say. But, to rant, the OP is self-involved. He has difficulty relating to others and hence sees himself as so very very different that he thinks he's actually too intelligent to communicate w/other pple. I think this is a common occurence. PPle like to believe that they're different. Pple see the Hum-drum that is life and they want to believe that they will live a more fulfilling life than those "boring" pple surrounding them. But, the boring truth is that u're no different.
Ur just another person. Like millions and millions of others, ur viewpoint has probably already been expressed by someone b/4 u. The OP hates that the pple around him are talking about lunch or getting their car washed or their experience at the grocery store or what their kids are going through. Well, what's the OP talking to anyone else about? Nothing? Does he leave conversation behind and remedy his self-esteem by telling himself he's too intelligent to have these conversations? How very intelligent is he? He's too intelligent and too bored to be bothered to hold a conversation w/pple?! Too smart to make a connection with the average "Joe"?! I'd say that shows the exact opposite of intelligence. An intelligent person, Imo, should be able to have mundane conversations w/whomever he comes into contact with for the advantage of making a connection. An intelligent person should be able to inquire of others, himself and the topic at hand and make it more interesting by adding his point of view, his observances, his perspective. While at the same time, communicating and connecting w/other pple. If the OP's bitching about the fact that everyone else is so very boring to him, he probably doesn't want to look at how boring He is to everyone else.

As for your rant, those were some excellent observations, and I believe you are right that the OP thinks he's better than the people that he was saying are boring.

But this is not the case with me. I don't think I'm better than all these people i think are boring. I know I'm not more intelligent than them, either. I just plain think they are boring, and think most people are boring. And you know what, I'm even more boring than the people that are boring because I'm so quiet and don't say much. But that doesn't change the fact that so many people bore me. I guess I'm just proving that not all people that think others are boring think they are better than everyone else, because I sure don't.

 

[superfluouslyme]

As for your rant, those were some excellent observations, and I believe you are right that the OP thinks he's better than the people that he was saying are boring.

But this is not the case with me. I don't think I'm better than all these people i think are boring. I know I'm not more intelligent than them, either. I just plain think they are boring, and think most people are boring. And you know what, I'm even more boring than the people that are boring because I'm so quiet and don't say much. But that doesn't change the fact that so many people bore me. I guess I'm just proving that not all people that think others are boring think they are better than everyone else, because I sure don't.

Then, if I can ask, why do people bore you? Are they boring because, like you, they don't say much? Or is the idea of benign conversation speak (job, kids, weather, etc.) what bores you. I'm genuinely curious.

 

[JamesSmith]

Then, if I can ask, why do people bore you? Are they boring because, like you, they don't say much? I'm genuinely curious.

No, like I said, I don't talk nearly as much as they do. It's what they talk about that is boring for the most part. It's always these random pointless things they talk about. Most people I've talked to are totally into themselves. They talk about the lame things they did that day, like going to the store, who they saw or what party they went to last night. This stuff just isn't exciting to me. Like I am self-centered too, but I don't talk about myself all the time just because I don't even talk very much. Maybe I'm kind of mean or just hate small-talk, maybe it's a combo of both, but for some reason I'm just not interested in what most people talk about. I know I like people because I like communicating with people in these forums, so it can't be that i hate people because i don't hate people. Maybe I just don't like what they talk about in person.

 

[hoddesdon]

I think for a lot of people - the topic of conversation is not as important as the interaction itself

small talk about all those inane subjects is merely a device for the REAL excitement - and that is interacting with another human being, feeling them out, getting to know them, bonding, connecting, and even flirting

the words, the topics, are not important - it's the face time

it's about voice, inflection, emotion, facial expression, body language, posturing, touch

in-depth conversations about "important" things are actually quite boring to many people, because in order to have those conversations, you actually have to pay attention to the words rather than simply interacting on a more primal, instinctual, and more exciting interpersonal level

polite, casual conversation - "small talk" - isn't about the exchange of ideas

it's about establishing relationships

This is absolutely right (perhaps coyote should work as a therapist\counsellor).

SP puts static on the interaction-dimension channel - like someone who is colour-blind looking at a rainbow - so all that is left is the words, which truly are boring in themselves. Without colour, a rainbow is boring too; without being told, a colour-blind person can not conceive of colour.

 

[krs2snow]

^^Hey, hey wait a minute. I didn't say the OP thought he was Better than anyone else. I said he just sees himself as Different from everyone else. There's a difference between thinking u're better than everyone else and thinking u're different than everyone else. Probably, neither are true. As for boredome, boredome comes from within. If u're bored w/those around u then u're probably bored w/urself. Boredome is not an encounter, its a condition. Boredome is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[Minty]

Anxiety makes me bored because while everyone is engaging at conversation, I'm sitting there, staring at my shoes. My sister is a boring person (she's deeply introverted and doesn't talk much) but since I'm not anxious around her, I can talk to her about pretty much anything and the process of unleashing what's on my mind--well, it's not boring. Not boring at all. Even though she rarely has anything of interest to talk about, she's a great listener.

I think it's unhealthy to have such high expectations of everyone around you that you fail to see their good traits.

 

[JamesSmith]

Alright, I need to explain what I saw in your post that I was talking about:
krs2snow:
But, to rant, the OP is self-involved. He has difficulty relating to others and hence sees himself as so very very different that he thinks he's actually too intelligent to communicate w/other pple.

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As for what I put in italics, if that's not thinking you're better than someone else, I don't know what is. If you think you are too smart to talk to people, you definitely think you are better than these people.

 

[superfluouslyme]

I don't understand why small talk = boring. I generally make small talk when 1) I'm trying to break the ice, 2) I'm meeting someone for the first time, or 3) I don't really care but don't want to be rude. It's what people do, generally for the reasons listed above. If you want to have a meaningful talk with someone, go for it. But don't expect someone to start off with, "hey, what are your views on organized religion?" or "so, are you pro-choice?" It's an invasive talking strategy and is usually reserved for those you are close to. Topics like that come up all the time between me and my friends and family, but never with coworkers or neighbors. Just because most people adhere to standard conversation starters and chitchat doesn't make them boring. Yeah, they aren't imparting earth shattering wisdom, but it doesn't necessarily make it worthless drivel.

 

[JamesSmith]

I don't understand why small talk = boring. I generally make small talk when 1) I'm trying to break the ice, 2) I'm meeting someone for the first time, or 3) I don't really care but don't want to be rude. It's what people do, generally for the reasons listed above. If you want to have a meaningful talk with someone, go for it. But don't expect someone to start off with, "hey, what are your views on organized religion?" or "so, are you pro-choice?" It's an invasive talking strategy and is usually reserved for those you are close to. Topics like that come up all the time between me and my friends and family, but never with coworkers or neighbors. Just because most people adhere to standard conversation starters and chitchat doesn't make them boring. Yeah, they aren't imparting earth shattering wisdom, but it doesn't necessarily make it worthless drivel.

Well this is a personal opinion thing, lol. These people aren't boring to you, but they are boring to me. I think small talk is boring, and yeah there probably is something seriously wrong with me because I think small talk is boring. I'm assuming it has something to do with my anxiety. I'm not saying I want people to just start a convo about religion or abortion debates, that would be bad too. I don't know if there really is much people could do to get my interest and entertain me. Again I know it sounds like I'm saying people are boring, which I am, but don't forget that I'm saying I'm even more boring than these people. It's not like I'm picking favorites or saying I'm better than anyone, because I'm not better than anyone. I'm sure they think I'm more boring than they are considering I don't say much.

 

[superfluouslyme]

That's cool. To each his own.

 

[twiggle]

I'm not sure I'd use the word 'Boring'. Calling other people boring would be like trying to say I'm interesting, which is not true.

I think a lot of people try to follow the majority so that they don't stick out, if that's what you mean? i.e. An iPhone is the thing to have, I must buy one! Everybody else my age is having tonnes of sex so I'm going to go out and find somebody willing to have sex with me!

I don't think these people are boring, they've just not accepted their insecurities yet, or they've repressed them. But either way, who are we to judge? Maybe some people do those things because they actually enjoy them? They want an iPhone because they like iPhones, they want to watch the X-Factor because they enjoy the X-Factor. If they're doing it out of genuine fancy, then what's the problem?

 

[Waybuloo]

I understand what you mean, but when you are in the wider society, mindless bores are the dominant type, but it doesn't mean that if you look hard enough you can't find anyone decent. I don't like to be an intellecual elite (well not that I have what it takes), but I like people who are at the very least interested in what's outside the box, even if they just ask questions.

Come to Britain, the intellectual crowds are more prevalent, and many people are cynical about their environment and like to discuss issues other than superficial. Of course we also have superficial people, but probably not as much as elsewhere.

 

[Waybuloo]

Alright, I need to explain what I saw in your post that I was talking about:
krs2snow:
But, to rant, the OP is self-involved. He has difficulty relating to others and hence sees himself as so very very different that he thinks he's actually too intelligent to communicate w/other pple.

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As for what I put in italics, if that's not thinking you're better than someone else, I don't know what is. If you think you are too smart to talk to people, you definitely think you are better than these people.

I think his predominant feeling is of frustration that he cannot relate to these people. If he is just not interested in trifle, why suppress who he is and pretend to be one of these people? If you observe people, they usually talk at cross purposes when discussing, for example, one's darling son, or the person listening just nodds whilst thinking of something else to talk about, or away with the fairies. Nobody is actually interested in other people's lives, unless they impact on their own, or makes themselves look bad. I think the OP is just being true to himself, nothing wrong with that.

 

[JamesSmith]

I think his predominant feeling is of frustration that he cannot relate to these people. I think the OP is just being true to himself, nothing wrong with that.

Yes, I do think the main problem with the OP is that he can't relate with these people. But in his post, he then goes on a lot about how he thinks he so much smarter and superior to these people, and he's not any smarter or superior to these people. He's just different, that doesn't make him any better than anyone yet he thinks it does.

 

[redmatter]

These people are not only shallow, but also intolerant of people like us. This world (or at least Western civilization) is built for outgoing extroverts who have lots of friends, who easily socialize. They are looking down at people who don't fit in with this characteristic.

Yea, I know what you mean. It's true. The only way you can get through to them is by speaking in generalizations and dumbing-down.

The people who don't get it probably haven't been locked out socially. They don't know what it's to be left out in the cold. It's easy to observe when you don't belong, that's why it's easy to see how mind-numbing and insulting most people are.

How ridiculous to think that quiet people are being shunned by those who generalize them as elitists.

I think his predominant feeling is of frustration that he cannot relate to these people. I think the OP is just being true to himself, nothing wrong with that.

Right, I agree. Why wouldn't herd mentality be here, it's everywhere. Let the weirdos in everybody, maybe it'd be a more interesting world, eh? Or is it easier just to gang up and alienate people and send them into the woods? It's all about experience, people have just poked me with sticks, how's yours been?

 

[redmatter]

I think his predominant feeling is of frustration that he cannot relate to these people. If he is just not interested in trifle, why suppress who he is and pretend to be one of these people? If you observe people, they usually talk at cross purposes when discussing, for example, one's darling son, or the person listening just nodds whilst thinking of something else to talk about, or away with the fairies. Nobody is actually interested in other people's lives, unless they impact on their own, or makes themselves look bad. I think the OP is just being true to himself, nothing wrong with that.

Brilliant. Trifle or die, that's what I've learned.