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I quiver everytime he gets me these gifts. It can really hurt actually because you realise how far down the rabbit hole he is in his mind. And how much time your giving this person and your future. I told him i wasnt feeling well and id unwrap them later. He hands me this brown wrapped paper -...

So i hope that everyone on here had something that made them smile this xmas. Its the 29th today, only a short time till the end of this year and start of 2020 - the year of vision as my dad says lol. This year, the highlight for me was in the winter time and going with rugs to see Aladdin at...

Its really come to the point where im missing out on things because of rugs and my sp. He came over tonight to see me and was talking in the persona of severe arrogant and delusional of his abilities and iq and all that - his schizophrenia way too much for me to deal with. He has no care in...

argh dont even know where i was going in the post above. I feel in the midst of depression and compulsion to binge eat constantly. ive put on so much weight thru stress and binging over the past fewyears and im trying to work out how i used to not do this. Its not nice being fat at a time when...

I can move out, but i dont really want to and dont really need to i suppose. Living on 5acres of beautiful scenery and my chickens and garden, its been a dream - but with that comes a little lack of independence - which clearly sets off when my sister comes down and her kids and they rule...

I've been having anxiety attacks over a looming Xmas party this year in December. The whole side of my mums family will be there, and we haven't had all the family get together in a long time. We usually have Xmas over my place with half of the family and those are usually the non-posh ones and...

The thing with GAD and SP within my family is that I cant run away from things when i need to. So now that my sister has children age 6 and 8, and they stay over our place ( i live on 7 acres with my mum and dad ) it means my stress goes way way way up so high that i can't deal with it except...

This baby sitting is torture for an anxious person cause the kids are so bossy and energetic and in your face. Cant eat without them in your personal space, or go toliet without them banging on the door. There is no way to have space except deal with the concequences of having a breather in my...

Thanx Miserum. Really helped. I do make things into mountains. I havent been on here, but i used be on here all the time and it really did help. Ive faded in having my own time really and so find it an indulgedence more now. But really it needs toch means more out be a daily thing because it...

ththatWell my life has felt like one big co-dependence of people, people dependent on me more than i on them and me struggling to get any form of independence. Like its always been with my mum. Shes got 30 percent hearing and was born like that. Ive had to be her saviour in many ways, she doesnt...

I really need to come on here and be more active like i used to. I just kinda squash everything away that is my own pandora's box and part of that is not coming on here. It's not my natural instinct to hold things in. And i usually just come on when i have blushing with pms and it feels so...

Havent been on here in a while. I feel so old. Even tho people see me young, Im packing on alot of health issues at the moment all from acute stress of the past few years. Sciatica is one and its painful, then theres depression, adrenal fatigue and the ongoing stress that i find so hard to...

I feel so alone. My cognitive ability has gone down from staying up last night to make a dolls house for my niece, which has been fun. But I recently saw my therapist and her reflections on my recent issues showed that I was getting more and more realising that rugs is just too much, too much...

Went thru a pretty bad lady time. A night ago I was vomiting 4 times and in and out the toliet. And I know this is because of all the binge eating of processed foods over the last few months. It got to a new high. And its wasnt even unconsciously in most parts. I just need to escape so...

Thanx fountain. Its just pretty much frustrating. So he ordered parts for his car and done this over a few weeks with things not fitting and the car (his car ) still not working. Ive been doing miss taxi again for my parents. I always do it for mum because she cant drive and dad always puts his...

So im feeling like i have no control over things and I get really upset when that happens. Im talking about my own things. So my little car since last year decided to not wind its electric windows anymore. And the quote was $500 for the 2 side windows, which was $1000 on top of my normal...

All of this has been so hard to deal with. When someone is like a bum, you naturally want to help and fix them up. Its exciting to do.But what if they couldnt maintain that and just couldnt really do much for you in return. That for you had to put your stuff aside just to maintain things for...

So this is where im at in 2019. I need to vent but i feel so judging of myself and ashamed as i know in the past the relationship issues i vented on here were so obvious of what i needed to do and yet it just didn't happen. Well for a short term anyway. Im thick in the female pms at the moment...

I must admit, ive gone off here for some time now as I have Facebook. Ive gone into my shell for a bit like us SPs do, maybe thats the ironic part of this site. Facebook tho, with al friends and family on there- the amount of energy when your down is too much. Ive left people hanging for over a...

Haven't been on here in a while. I've been in a life without a mojo for some time. I've been volunteering twice a week at a big secondhand store and thats been going fine. Been there for about 3-4 weeks now and its enjoyable. Altho I could go and find work at the moment, i need no pressure and...