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  • Sorry I know what you mean now. Its getting late and I am a bit tired. Yes I feel much better.. I dont know why I get like that sometimes, it does pass...usually. I was thinking about it...sometimes I get the feeling that I dont really matter to people I think..even though I know thats completely irrational. Paranoia gets to me occasionally. :)
    Hi Ale.... I sent you a PM and then I saw your other thread, the career one (which filled in some gaps). So there's a post from me over there as well.

    I really do hope I get to meet some peeps from here. It would be quite the experience I imagine, though I am terrified at the prospect. But I desperately need an excuse to get out of the house :s Will you be meeting up with anyone?

    You are still brave for moving. I have been out of a job for over a year and the thought of just applying for jobs makes me all panicky. Though sometimes I do think that it would be nice to get away from here and live my life in a different city. For one thing I could use the "I am new in town" excuse for not having friends. I would love to use that excuse, only I have lived here all my life.

    Well, I am happy to meet someone tall like me. *hehe* My friends, back when I had them, were all short. It used to make me feel like a huge beast standing next to them. The not being able to wear heels part is kinda sucky though. Good thing they make a lot of cute flats and they are in style :D
    Yeah, I should do the same. Lapses in conversation are not the end of the world and I should try to realise that! Thanks for the kind advice. :)

    It's certainly hard to get out of, and I can relate to you. I find it easier in groups because the pressure is off me. Sorry to hear that's worse for you. At least you have a plan of action in these situations! :)
    No, don't feel bad! I posted a question and I got some good replies from you. You did extremely well! It's just something I noticed today that maybe I'm boring to a lot of women - for example, there's a woman at work around my age who wouldn't initiate any talk unless I do, and when I did today, she seemed very disinterested. Maybe I'm doing something wrong or maybe it's in my head. But either way, you've given me something to think about and I thank you for it. :)

    Awkward silences are so terrible it's one of the reasons I like to avoid hanging out with people. :/
    We do have nice weather here :) You are so brave to have moved all the way to California for a job; I don't think I could do that ever. Even if it was a disaster, it was an experience. I am all ears if you wanna share.
    Being bullied sure sucks. I haven't been bullied in a long time though. So I am not sure if the bullying forum would be for me. I do feel I developed SA as a result of that bullying (and my OCD). I have a lot in common with the people here: many of us don't drive. I used to think I was so weird for not driving, but now I see it ties in to my SA. Also, what you posted about being asked "what do you do?" I hate that question. Lots of things like that. And hey, we are both tall! How tall are you btw?
    Eh, a career disaster story is not always bad. At least you have stories!

    I've only started therapy, too, and I can see nothing but benefits from it. Hindsight is a bitch but at least you discovered it at all. :)
    Yeah, I don't want to infect anyone, either. It's sometimes difficult to keep it bottled up but I know there's sometimes no other choice. Like you, I try to avoid people when upset and that's also quite difficult (impossible at work).

    It's unfortunate that you have to hide your true feelings at work. I'm lucky that's there's one or two people (one in particular) who I can talk to at work. Is there anyone at work you feel you can vent to when necessary? It would make it a lot easier for you.
    I try to be upbeat and not drag others down with me, but it's becoming difficult. Lately I've been having trouble hiding it and I just tell them "I'm tired" when I don't look happy.

    Thanks, Aletheia. :) I may eventually take you up on that offer. The same for you, too: I'll be willing to listen to whatever you want to say if you've got something on your mind.
    My depression was major, never chronic, but over the last month or two (or perhaps longer) it's been really bad. I don't even know what's causing it but I am seeing a therapist about it so we'll see if that nets any results for me.

    Trust me, I want to scream and shout my issues to anyone who will listen, but I don't really know what to say so I usually keep it hidden or post some of my feelings here. I would much rather try to help others when they post so that's what a lot of my posts are about.

    Some can't see beyond their own pain but I can kind of see why, particularly if their pain is intense. It's just how it is.

    Sorry to hear you're a chronic depressed person, too, Aletheia. If there's anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask me.
    Oh, thank you very much, Aletheia. :) I try to be nice in real life and people have commented on how nice I am.

    I'm going through some chronic depression at this point in my life so I'm trying to not let anyone else here slip into that. I want to help everyone.
    Goodness....thank you, thats quite a compliment. I am not quite sure how to respond actually... thank you :) I am doing my best to be gracious. You are very kind person too and I am glad you have found the forum. You deserve to be here... and I can tell already people are appreciating your presence.
    I really like it here...finally found a place where I belong. These are my people, lol.
    Ooh, San Francisco. I have been wanting to visit up there. Looks lovely. I see that now you live in New Zealand? Is this where you are from?
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