Loneliness and health

I am not sure if there is a thread about this or not I couldn't find one but does anybody hear worrying stories like how being lonely is bad for your heart and stuff and do you think it is true this article says it does Extreme loneliness worse for health than obesity and can lead to an early grave, scientists say - Science - News - The Independent

I am just thinking if it is true it is pretty cruel that our bodies are like punishing us for being lonely haha
Do people worry about stuff like this

Being around people has affected my health

It's also proven being miserable in relationships makes for a shorter life span.

I'd say I'm chronically lonely and in a miserable relationship. Guess I'm a dead man :/

I'm lonely, to a point that I don't think I will ever meet a girl. I forget everything pretty much about dating its been that long. I only worry about dying alone.

Kiwong said:

Being around people has affected my health

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Actually, being around people didn't improve or damage your health. Your reaction to being around people did/does.

Sacrament said:

Actually, being around people didn't improve or damage your health. Your reaction to being around people did/does.

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Well I'm going to say you are wrong, I have been physically beaten and verbally tormented, so, yeah, people have impacted on my health, they continue to do so. I'd have to be made of stone not to react to that.

I feel happier when I am not around people.

Yeah, it is pretty unfair. I'm not a criminal, I try to be sensitive to others, I want to work to help people... and despite eating well, not smoking or drinking, and exercising, I get this just for being me.

That said, I can at least hope to age well. My parents are both still fairly fit and quite active in their late 50's and early 60's. My dad's still programming and my mother's still in accounting, though she'd like to retire. Hopefully I'll at least be healthier than all the happy, normal people who don't have to do anything to make friends except put themselves out there.

Kiwong said:

Well I'm going to say you are wrong, I have been physically beaten and verbally tormented, so, yeah, people have impacted on my health, they continue to do so. I have to be made of stone not to react to that.

I feel happier when I am not around people.

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Surely the number of people who beat you and tormented you is less than the number of people who did nothing to you. You can't dismiss the entire world because of a few bad apples. I've been bullied to the point of violence in my younger years as well, and for years I kept hoping bad things would happen to those people, but eventually I had to let go of all that negativity and just make peace with what happened. It's not like I can change that. What I can change is how it affects my life today.

Sacrament said:

Surely the number of people who beat you and tormented you is less than the number of people who did nothing to you. You can't dismiss the entire world because of a few bad apples. I've been bullied to the point of violence in my younger years as well, and for years I kept hoping bad things would happen to those people, but eventually I had to let go of all that negativity and just make peace with what happened. It's not like I can change that. What I can change is how it affects my life today.

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It's not the number, it's the impact those people have had. And I have learnt from those experiences about how I like to interact with the world, and have moved on.

You said " being around people didn't improve or damage my health." It's like saying to someone who has been raped or physically abused, that their reaction to the abuse was what affected their health, not the assault itself.

I'm not dismissing the entire world, did I say that? I simply do better in my own company, solitude energizes me, that is where I have found happiness. I have made peace, peace in my own company. I'm not interested in what happened to those people, I never wished bad things would happen to them.

I am happy with my independence and the level of interaction I choose to have with people, and that is minimal. I have discovered that being around people for too long is not good for me. I appreciate the positive connections I have made, but they are irregular, and I am OK with that.

Maybe it has affected my life for the better. I am not lonely, I know what makes me happy, I have lived and experienced, and that does not involve pining away for the lack of human company.

I can be happy and inspired, and I find that I achieve that most often in solitude. What is wrong with saying that? It seems to some it is almost like blasphemy a crime.

It's referring to lack of going out. I had a period where I didn't go out unless it was necessary and it affected my health because it's harder to exercise inside. After starting running 1 or 2 days a week i feel healthier. You don't need a huge social circle but its good to have a couple friends and exercise outside. Hope this helps lol.

Good post Kiwong. I agree with you. You sound also like a real introvert to me and a HSP.

When humans are highly sensitive and highly introverted even someone being cruel and judgmental through words can really feel like a physical bruise.

Mentally abusive relationships for example can be far worse with suffering the individual goes through over physical abuse, this has been very much documented.

When someone hits you in the face you can say "See this is what he/she does to me" and you get the help you need from the proof it leaves. People will come to your aid etc...

If someone is degrading you everyday and bringing down your self esteem there are no physical things to show the world. You suffer in silence.

I agree also, I am better off without being around people...much happier and content. This is not for lack of trying and yrs of forcing myself to be with them.

I agree Molly, that the verbal and mental abuse can be the worse and most damaging.

A combination of physical and mental abuse over a long period can be devastating to someone who starts out strong, but is gradually weakened and worn down by it. And of course it has an impact.

I like to be able to choose how I interact with people, and who I interact with. Sometimes you make a positive connection with someone and the sun comes out from behind the clouds for a little while. But that is rare.

I think I have finally learnt that being an introvert and desiring solitude a good amount of the time is OK. For a long time I looked at the expectations the world seems to have of me, and believed there was something wrong with me.

I think I already died in my sleep as a result of chronic loneliness lol. wait, how am I writing this if i'm dead :idontknow: ?

dannyboy65 said:

I'm lonely, to a point that I don't think I will ever meet a girl. I forget everything pretty much about dating its been that long. I only worry about dying alone.

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Oh yeah, I've given up on all of that. It gets worse as your small handful of friends get married and start to distance themselves from you

LazyHermitCrab said:

It's referring to lack of going out. I had a period where I didn't go out unless it was necessary and it affected my health because it's harder to exercise inside. After starting running 1 or 2 days a week i feel healthier. You don't need a huge social circle but its good to have a couple friends and exercise outside. Hope this helps lol.

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That combines my two least favorite things, going outside and exercising!

I am so lonely. I have never had ambitions for a big career, when I was younger and asked what I wanted to be when I'm older my answer was always I want a husband and babies. I got some odd looks I can tell you lol, and heaven help me if a feminist ever heard haha. It hurts so bad to know that I most likely will never have that in my life.

Stig23 said:

I am so lonely. I have never had ambitions for a big career, when I was younger and asked what I wanted to be when I'm older my answer was always I want a husband and babies. I got some odd looks I can tell you lol, and heaven help me if a feminist ever heard haha. It hurts so bad to know that I most likely will never have that in my life.

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Nothing wrong with wanting that. Never say never.

Solo Dolo said:

I'd say I'm chronically lonely and in a miserable relationship. Guess I'm a dead man :/

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Same here, awful man I am with now. If I had a choice I ll rather let him go instead of putting up but my life is a complete mess right now, for one year half so kind of stuck.