Loyal's Thoughts

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I can't believe you went to a party!.. Well done.
Last time I actually went to one (many years ago);

View attachment 5359

It helped that I knew everyone there, some for many years (like easily over a decade), and that I had helped plan the party and organise parts of it, plus having my car means if need be I can leave asap if I have to which also helps. Still got all anxious but wasnt too hard to make myself go and I really enjoyed it so well worth the stress leading up to it
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I have had a very unsatisfying pair of days. Aside from a general off mood in the brain/migraines for days, yesterday I went to several shops in search of these natural wood slice things to make my grandmas xmas present - no luck at all so I've gotta either go like an hour drive away to get some, or risk trying through ebay and the subsequent possibly slow/too late delivery times, or pay a LOT more than I wanted to. Plus I went to get these sunnies for a friend, and there was none left in stock so entire trip was a waste of effort.

Then today I had a phone appointment that I waited hours for and it never came, I even tried to call them twice to no avail - If they mark me down as not having attended this phone appointment I lose my payments!. I can only hope they call tomorrow coz I'll be fucked if they dont. Then I was like ok the shops are still open I'll go get AC Valhalla, thinking today was the 10th... I go all the way there and find out its the fucking 9th today. 🙃🙃🙃 So I've gotta go back tomorrow. Meanwhile my teacher emailed and sounds like she wants me to change my photo backgrounds for my final.. its fuckin week 13, last week of classes and I like my backgrounds I dont want them changed... Ugh just a frustrating couple of days all over
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
124158069_3326273007501443_6750953077123860534_n.jpg
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
That exactly sums up how I always felt about school too. I HATED lectures and sitting in a classroom. Nothing but a prison for yourself and your mind, only memorizing one main topic one exact way with no other opportunities to expand ideas or actually learn anything. It squashes any kind of creativity and critical thinking.

Not just libraries either. Any kind of environment where you're actually learning by doing.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
That exactly sums up how I always felt about school too. I HATED lectures and sitting in a classroom. Nothing but a prison for yourself and your mind, only memorizing one main topic one exact way with no other opportunities to expand ideas or actually learn anything. It squashes any kind of creativity and critical thinking.

Not just libraries either. Any kind of environment where you're actually learning by doing.
I think this sums it up? 048dfdc9877ab0772c9fb0a839768e73.jpg
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
That exactly sums up how I always felt about school too. I HATED lectures and sitting in a classroom. Nothing but a prison for yourself and your mind, only memorizing one main topic one exact way with no other opportunities to expand ideas or actually learn anything. It squashes any kind of creativity and critical thinking.

Not just libraries either. Any kind of environment where you're actually learning by doing.

Right! Nothing killed my passion for learning quite like the rigidity and pressure of academic situations. Uni was far better than school but it still managed to suffocate me
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Theres this woman sniffing around my father at the moment. She keeps coming round and staying for far too long, he isnt objecting to it of course- but I do not like or trust her. I knew this lady when I was a kid and I know she fucked around with her friends boyfriend before he ended up leaving her friend for her, so she clearly does not respect friendship boundaries or have any common decency. Its been about two weeks and she has come over here 4 times and stayed for hours and hours - literally stayed all night til 7 am one time and til 4am another, plus he also met with her at a mutual friends place as well as going to her place once.

Like I dont want to stand in the way of his happiness but I dont like her, I dont trust her, and I dont like the threat this poses to both my current living situation and my potential future inheritance situation- yes I know thats quite selfish of me, but I grew up poor, I never had anything coming to me from my parents until dad's mother died and he bought this place. The thought that in the future I may have a house offered some real comfort to me and now the thought that this trash could swoop in and steal it really adds to my dislike of her.

The worst bit is because I dont want to come across as selfish or stand in his way I cant do anything about her being around, so its just making this place feel unwelcoming and invaded and has taken away any aspect of a safe place that this living situation had.

Idk what Im going to do because I cant find another place to live because I cant afford the rent on my own and frankly noone will rent to me with 3 big dogs... I dont have any kind of savings so the possibility of buying or putting a downpayment on a house of my own is beyond a pipe dream... Right now if this living situation falls through my options are live in my car, or ask my grandma if I can pitch my tent on her land (which is 8 hours away in a very small, rural country town).
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Theres this woman sniffing around my father at the moment. She keeps coming round and staying for far too long, he isnt objecting to it of course- but I do not like or trust her. I knew this lady when I was a kid and I know she fucked around with her friends boyfriend before he ended up leaving her friend for her, so she clearly does not respect friendship boundaries or have any common decency. Its been about two weeks and she has come over here 4 times and stayed for hours and hours - literally stayed all night til 7 am one time and til 4am another, plus he also met with her at a mutual friends place as well as going to her place once.

Like I dont want to stand in the way of his happiness but I dont like her, I dont trust her, and I dont like the threat this poses to both my current living situation and my potential future inheritance situation- yes I know thats quite selfish of me, but I grew up poor, I never had anything coming to me from my parents until dad's mother died and he bought this place. The thought that in the future I may have a house offered some real comfort to me and now the thought that this trash could swoop in and steal it really adds to my dislike of her.

The worst bit is because I dont want to come across as selfish or stand in his way I cant do anything about her being around, so its just making this place feel unwelcoming and invaded and has taken away any aspect of a safe place that this living situation had.

Idk what Im going to do because I cant find another place to live because I cant afford the rent on my own and frankly noone will rent to me with 3 big dogs... I dont have any kind of savings so the possibility of buying or putting a downpayment on a house of my own is beyond a pipe dream... Right now if this living situation falls through my options are live in my car, or ask my grandma if I can pitch my tent on her land (which is 8 hours away in a very small, rural country town).
Can you mention your concerns to your Dad?
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Can you mention your concerns to your Dad?
Dad and I dont really talk, not about anything of substance. We never have. Plus as much as I dislike and dont trust this hoebag, I can see Dad is happier than he has been in a while and I dont want to be the one who ruins it for him. For now I have to just stand aside and keep my guard up and hope it ends quickly on its own
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Dad and I dont really talk, not about anything of substance. We never have. Plus as much as I dislike and dont trust this hoebag, I can see Dad is happier than he has been in a while and I dont want to be the one who ruins it for him. For now I have to just stand aside and keep my guard up and hope it ends quickly on its own
You're a good person Loyal :love:
 
Top