sahxox
Well-known member
Ever feel that you're worthless? Not worth defending your beliefs/actions, so you die inside and become a zombie, bouncing off people and their reactions? No-one else gives a shit. I justify my worthlessness by telling myself I can't perform socially... it's almost a sadistic pride in ditching myself and giving me reason to feel miserable. Definitely a mental impairement. I can do anything, but I also can't do anything, because I never support myself unless my hypersensitive radar declares that it is ok with everyone else. It is biased in the favour of negativity.
Reverse pedestal. Walking around dead basically, in a zone out of reach of everything except even slight negativity, which is construed into a demonic cloud that creeps into all aspects of my life. Whether it be chilling at home, serving at work, being with new people, I can feel completely worthless all of a sudden if I think about it. Then I justify this negativity by saying that I deserve no better.
I hate myself for no reason at all, which intensifies the hate because it is so unnecessary.
Reverse pedestal. Walking around dead basically, in a zone out of reach of everything except even slight negativity, which is construed into a demonic cloud that creeps into all aspects of my life. Whether it be chilling at home, serving at work, being with new people, I can feel completely worthless all of a sudden if I think about it. Then I justify this negativity by saying that I deserve no better.
I hate myself for no reason at all, which intensifies the hate because it is so unnecessary.