Hopping along - Hoppy's journal

Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
From notalwaysrelated.com

This is important, and I am still trying to get my mind around the concept, but it explains a lot to me.

In-Law Laying Down The Law
Home | Pulaski, TN, USA | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians, Spouses & Partners, Themed Giveaway
(My fiancé is a Marine. We are arguing because of a poorly worded statement about the worth of civilians. We both have tempers; his causes him to deny the problem exists, and mine causes me to go cry and go non-verbal at times because I don’t know how to express what I’m feeling through words. His mother is in the room, attempting to mediate.)

Fiancé: “Why am I always the bad guy?”

Me: “I never called you the bad guy! I told you that you said something that could be interpreted as f*****-up. My problem at this point is that you refuse to take ownership of it!”

Fiancé: “There’s nothing to take ownership of! I didn’t say anything wrong!”

Me: “You insinuated that I was worthless because I’m a civilian, and made mistakes. How is that nothing to take ownership of?”

Fiancé: “I didn’t say it about you, so I didn’t do anything wrong! I’m not apologizing because I’m not in the wrong here! Maybe you should learn to listen and ask questions before you jump to stupid conclusions.”

Me: “God, you came back from boot camp and you suddenly think your way of thinking is the only right one!”

Mother-In-Law: “Easy now…”

Fiancé: “Well, maybe I should go to [USMC base in Japan]! I’ll be with military people with the same military mindset as me, and I won’t have to put up with people making me into the bad guy for nothing! How’s that work for you?”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, god! Don’t be silly!”

(My temper flares, because he has brought up something he knows will hurt me; him going overseas and leaving me behind.)

Me: “You… I…”

Mother-In-Law: “Honey…”

(I grunt in exasperation and stomp my foot.)

Mother-In-Law: “Use your words, honey.”

Me: “Go fu—”

Mother-In-Law: “Not that one!”

Me: “You… hurt… me. I spent years trying not to feel worthless, and what you said to me made me feel worthless.”

Mother-In-Law: “Keep going…”

Me: “What you said hurt, and you don’t care because you’d rather be right than sorry. It doesn’t matter if it was an accident; it still hurt. Why doesn’t that matter to you?”

(I burst into tears. My fiancé stops and stares at me for a minute, then pulls me into a hug and apologizes over and over. His mom smiles, and starts talking to him.)

Mother-In-Law: “Son, you were in the wrong here, not because your statement had malicious intent, but because you refused to acknowledge that you hurt her. You felt that her complaint wasn’t valid because you didn’t see a problem with your statement, and you didn’t want to be wrong and admit you’d hurt her. You need to understand that your reality isn’t the only one; different people experience things differently. You two are talking about spending forever together, but forever’s a long time to spend with someone who can’t see the other side of a story. You need to take accountability when you hurt one another, even if it’s an accident.”

(We both nod, and his mom pulls out his baby book. We spend the rest of the night cuddled up, laughing at pictures and discussing where the comment went wrong until we both fall asleep. I don’t think I can ever properly thank my mother in law for what she did, because I’m almost certain the relationship would have ended that night had she not brought me down.)
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Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
Tonight I completed my c25k running program.

It started last year when I saw a meme with the wording, "I would rather be depressed than exercise"

That one was very much true, since I've hated exercise my entire life, and except for a forced stint when I was 19 I didn't do any exercise.

I thought about it a lot, but never did anything about it, using all sorts of excuses.

Last year November I went to a meeting and they took a group photograph, and there I was standing on the side, and I was shocked when I saw how fat I was, especially since I was bigger than the people I thought were fat.

And finally in the beginning of March I took the first step and went for my first run. It was terrible, the first week I had to run for 1 minute and then walk for 90 seconds, keeping it up for 20 minutes, and that 1 minutes were hell. My legs burned and I was really struggling.

But the best advice I read was on the C25K forums, and it said:

"Tip #1: SLOW DOWN! Now that you've slowed down - SLOW DOWN EVEN MORE!! This program is not a race - it's for getting your body used to running - speed comes later. You will always be faster than you were just sitting on your butt!! "

I used that to remind myself that speed doesn't matter.

Eventually I got to the first 20 minute non-stop run, dreading it and it went very well.

The best part was when I saw how much further I ran in the same time period very week.

And the beginning of week 8 I had a fantastic run, I ran fast and comfortably, and ended up getting runner's knee (slow down).

So I did slow down again and the last week did some very slow 30 minutes runs, my knee coping very well.

The place where I went running is an area near the house where there are an estate with old age homes. High walls, little traffic and privacy. And once I encountered some girls jogging and they smiled at me.

I have to go and buy some running shoes now, my present for myself. The shoes I did the runs in are very tattered with holes in the bottom, and I did the run with whatever shirt I was wearing during the day, some days a collared shirt.

So, what next? For me that is doing a real 5k in 30 minutes. At present I only do about 3.8k in that time, and I will need to increase my speed and make it more of a workout.

And on alternate days I am going to add some strength training to my schedule, using this exercises from fit hacks.

And I have a sense of accomplishment, and I feel very pleased with myself.

And I can honestly say that these last two months have been the happiest in many years. Nothing else has changed, but I feel so much happier.
 
Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
I cannot do push-ups. I try, but I can do only about 3 and then I have to start doing it from my knees.

And I've bought myself a jump rope. My present record is 10 hops before getting entangled, some attempts are about two hops and most is just the entangling.

But other than that the workouts is going well, the three weeks so far and I can already see some improvement, I can keep going for 20 minutes before flaking out, the first time I managed 10 minutes.

I've got shin splints, running had to stop, so I dragged out the bicycle, and now are busy training a whole different set of muscles.

So at present I am exercising 6 days a week, 3 days of cardio and 3 days of strength, at least 20 minutes at a time, wearing my new trainers.

Small steps, baby steps, taking one day at a time.

And I read a lot online about exercise and learn a lot, and for the first time are having some dreams.

And I've lost 5 kilograms (11 pounds) so far, many more to go.

And all the advice say "join a group", "join a club", "exercise with other people", "tell people", and every time I read it my stomach ties itself in a knot. So far I have discussed it with my brother (who is also trying to lose weight), and on here, and it will probably stay this way for a long time.

And I am really looking forward to the day when someone will say: "Hey, you have lost weight!"

Small things.

And I am still happy, and proud of myself.
 
Last edited:
neardeath

neardeath

Well-known member
Hoppy said:
I cannot do push-ups. I try, but I can do only about 3 and then I have to start doing it from my knees.

And I've bought myself a jump rope. My present record is 10 hops before getting entangled, some attempts are about two hops and most is just the entangling.

But other than that the workouts is going well, the three weeks so far and I can already see some improvement, I can keep going for 20 minutes before flaking out, the first time I managed 10 minutes.

I've got shin splints, running had to stop, so I dragged out the bicycle, and now are busy training a whole different set of muscles.

So at present I am exercising 6 days a week, 3 days of cardio and 3 days of strength, at least 20 minutes at a time, wearing my new trainers.

Small steps, baby steps, taking one day at a time.

And I read a lot online about exercise and learn a lot, and for the first time are having some dreams.

And I've lost 5 kilograms (11 pounds) so far, many more to go.

And all the advice say "join a group", "join a club", "exercise with other people", "tell people", and every time I read it my stomach ties itself in a knot. So far I have discussed it with my brother (who is also trying to lose weight), and on here, and it will probably stay this way for a long time.

And I am really looking forward to the day when someone will say: "Hey, you have lost weight!"

Small things.

And I am still happy, and proud of myself.
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That is quite the effort! I have been trying, but you beat all! It gives me hope to continue so thanks for sharing.
 
Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
And last week I was ill for a day and only did light exercise on alternate days, and this week we had visitors on monday and I didn't do anything and by Friday I was in a foul mood, to the extent that I had to apologize to the staff for my tantrum. My tantrum was directed at a machine and not at a person, but still it was unacceptable.

So I took the bike and did some sprints around the the block, and I felt so much better.

And I realized that much of my moods has disappeared since I started exercising.

I still have many months to go, but I am happy with my progress.

And this week I fastened my belt on the 5th hole, not on the third.

Small steps, baby steps.
 
Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
Jeff Goins: “Don’t edit the stories you’re telling. Edit the life you’re living.”
 
Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
And this is just to inform you all that I now weigh 110kg, so far I have lost 10kg (22 lbs.)

25% done. Still 30 kg to go.
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
saw that before,but everytime it seems I lose all the strenght in my leg and it becomes useless....while I am sitting on my chair...........cant imagine what a begginer goes through,it also seems they made climbing this as dangerous as possible....
 
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