That is Soo Unattractive!

[ImNotMyIllness]

......................................................

 

[this_portrait]

And that is one of the millions of reasons why I despise people.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

And that is one of the millions of reasons why I despise people.

No one likes fair weather friends. But, to be fair, no one likes being around someone so dark and brooding. I do expect people to stick around during my slumps (nothing wrong with that). But, I tend to take things to the extreme. I can understand why some people quit hanging around me.

:question: I just need to start believing in myself.

 

[Nathália]

That's the time I become closer to people if I like them. Yes depression can be seen as a dark emotion, but it's also a time where many people open up their emotions they don't normally express to others if trust is earned. Going though the good and the bad times is a great way to build a stronger friendship to me.

 

[dottie]

very much relate... except with the part about being up/passionate/enthusiastic/positive. i have a hard time being that. are you bipolar?

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

That's the time I become closer to people if I like them. Yes depression can be seen as a dark emotion, but it's also a time where many people open up their emotions they don't normally express to others if trust is earned. Going though the good and the bad times is a great way to build a stronger friendship to me.

I totally agree with you! Hiding your emotions never works. There is nothing wrong with being depressed and telling people about it! Buuut, (and I'm speaking about me here) there is a problem with being a broken record, which I can and tend to be.

very much relate... except with the part about being up/passionate/enthusiastic/positive. i have a hard time being that. are you bipolar?

:question: I don't know. I will be seeing a Psychiatrist later this month. But, I don't think I am. I tend to have a well engrained happy go lucky side to me. I love to tell jokes and I can be very positive and passionate. But, when I fall hard that can send me to a very dark place.

There's probably a chemical thing going on with both states that I experience (Passion and Apathy). And, I may be Bipolar. But, I can at least help myself along by choosing more positive ways of thinking. Even if I am Bipolar, I'm not doing myself any favors with my negative self dialogue.


Note: Some people are more Bipolar than others and may also need medication too.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

very much relate... except with the part about being up/passionate/enthusiastic/positive. i have a hard time being that. are you bipolar?

You brought up a really good issue. I've been wondering about this myself. If I am Bipolar, it would be difficult for people to relate too. First they know me as a guy with tons of energy and determination and then suddenly as a brooding and broken man. Kind of hard for someone to handle unless they're a very close friend. I need to be cognizant of this. :question:

 

[Srijita52]

I know where you're coming from ImNotMyIllness, I've had similar experiences. There's nothing wrong with being depressed and expressing your feelings but people do tend to get annyoed if I do it all the time. Normally if I tend to be depressed for a long time I just vent my feelings here or try to distract myself.
I hope your visit with the psychiatrist go well and if you ever want to talk about anything my inbox is always open.

 

[Lamb]

No one likes fair weather friends. But, to be fair, no one likes being around someone so dark and brooding. I do expect people to stick around during my slumps (nothing wrong with that). But, I tend to take things to the extreme. I can understand why some people quit hanging around me.

:question: I just need to start believing in myself.

That is true.

I think a majority of people are naturally drawn to positivity and confidence in others..a certain charismatic nature some of us acquire more easily than others. It's more like a set of skills really.

These people have a sense of ease about themselves that so many of us seem to lack. Their energy rubs off and in return makes us feel better about ourselves, or allows us to forget about our own problems for the time being that we're basking in their light. If a majority of the time I'm feeling gloomy and despairing, having that type of personality around is like a glass of ice tea on a sweltering hot day. It's refreshing.

When I'm busy self-loathing, I don't know that I could manage being around another person like me. >_>

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I know where you're coming from ImNotMyIllness, I've had similar experiences. There's nothing wrong with being depressed and expressing your feelings but people do tend to get annyoed if I do it all the time. Normally if I tend to be depressed for a long time I just vent my feelings here or try to distract myself.
I hope your visit with the psychiatrist go well and if you ever want to talk about anything my inbox is always open.

Thanks Srijita!

That is true.

I think a majority of people are naturally drawn to positivity and confidence in others..a certain charismatic nature some of us acquire more easily than others. It's more like a set of skills really.

These people have a sense of ease about themselves that so many of us seem to lack. Their energy rubs off and in return makes us feel better about ourselves, or allows us to forget about our own problems for the time being that we're basking in their light. If a majority of the time I'm feeling gloomy and despairing, having that type of personality around is like a glass of ice tea on a sweltering hot day. It's refreshing.

When I'm busy self-loathing, I don't know that I could manage being around another person like me. lol

You're right and I think I have that quality to a degree. I'm wondering if part of that is being Bipolar. If it is (and I am), then I need to figure out how to ride the downs and get back up before I've scorched everything around me. I guess regardless, I need to learn positive self dialogue for the inevitable down times.

 

[Lamb]

Thanks Srijita!



You're right and I think I have that quality to a degree. I'm wondering if part of that is being Bipolar. If it is (and I am), then I need to figure out how to ride the downs and get back up before I've scorched everything around me. I guess regardless, I need to learn positive self dialogue for the inevitable down times.

What's the longest duration of time you've ever experienced a positive, energetic state for?

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

What's the longest duration of time you've ever experienced a positive, energetic state for?

I would say a very positive and energetic state where I feel like I can do anything, probably six months. During this time, I may have high to low points but my average state would be positive and energetic.

I've also noticed that I can go really high and then crash to very low. Like, 10 minutes ago, I began feeling very down and negative (this has been my average state of mind lately). I told myself to shut up with the negative self talk, which seemed to work.

I need to claw my way out of this depressive episode. I can't stay like this. I'm trying! Got to be positive.

 

[lonelee1]

I noticed, when I'm passionate and excited, people are just drawn to me. I make friends easier, people ask to hang out with me all the time. It's like I'm magnetic. But, then out comes my dark and depressive side. Suddenly, I lose all hope. I see the drawback to anything and everything. I'm inconsolable.

And you know what happens? People start to disappear out of my life. :alone:
My calls aren't returned, emails are ignored. And of course, I get upset :veryangry: and attribute this to how unreliable and "fair weather" most people are.

Truth is. Who wants to be around someone that's always miserable?!! That is so unattractive!

If I don't believe in myself how can I expect anyone else to?

i feel the same way, buddy.

 

[Hellhound]

I apologize if this post sounds mean. I'm going to speak from personal experience here.

Many, many times, I've met people I've tried to make friends with, who showed me that dark side you're refering to. I've tried to be there for them as much as I could, but everything reached a point in where it was just impossible to deal with them.

Every single day it was the same pessimistic, self bashing, negative attitude. In order to keep them calm, I had to spend hours trying to reassure them, acting like a therapist. The whole thing was EXTREMELY exhausting to me. There was nothing much I could say that could help them, because it all depended on them getting help. It all made me feel completely powerless and tired.

Yes, some are going to be a$$holes and they will leave you alone if ONE day you feel sad. Those aren't worth your time. But other people who might genuinely care have a limit for this. They aren't your therapists. You can't rely on them every single time your depression kicks in because it's not always possible for them to help you. That's why you get professional help.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I apologize if this post sounds mean. I'm going to speak from personal experience here.

Many, many times, I've met people I've tried to make friends with, who showed me that dark side you're refering to. I've tried to be there for them as much as I could, but everything reached a point in where it was just impossible to deal with them.

Every single day it was the same pessimistic, self bashing, negative attitude. In order to keep them calm, I had to spend hours trying to reassure them, acting like a therapist. The whole thing was EXTREMELY exhausting to me. There was nothing much I could say that could help them, because it all depended on them getting help. It all made me feel completely powerless and tired.

Yes, some are going to be a$$holes and they will leave you alone if ONE day you feel sad. Those aren't worth your time. But other people who might genuinely care have a limit for this. They aren't your therapists. You can't rely on them every single time your depression kicks in because it's not always possible for them to help you. That's why you get professional help.

I have to admit, I've been on the other side too, like you. Very true! Well stated. Thanks!

 

[Nathália]

I apologize if this post sounds mean. I'm going to speak from personal experience here.

Many, many times, I've met people I've tried to make friends with, who showed me that dark side you're refering to. I've tried to be there for them as much as I could, but everything reached a point in where it was just impossible to deal with them.

Every single day it was the same pessimistic, self bashing, negative attitude. In order to keep them calm, I had to spend hours trying to reassure them, acting like a therapist. The whole thing was EXTREMELY exhausting to me. There was nothing much I could say that could help them, because it all depended on them getting help. It all made me feel completely powerless and tired.

Yes, some are going to be a$$holes and they will leave you alone if ONE day you feel sad. Those aren't worth your time. But other people who might genuinely care have a limit for this. They aren't your therapists. You can't rely on them every single time your depression kicks in because it's not always possible for them to help you. That's why you get professional help.

That's the truth too.

 

[Srijita52]

I apologize if this post sounds mean. I'm going to speak from personal experience here.

Many, many times, I've met people I've tried to make friends with, who showed me that dark side you're refering to. I've tried to be there for them as much as I could, but everything reached a point in where it was just impossible to deal with them.

Every single day it was the same pessimistic, self bashing, negative attitude. In order to keep them calm, I had to spend hours trying to reassure them, acting like a therapist. The whole thing was EXTREMELY exhausting to me. There was nothing much I could say that could help them, because it all depended on them getting help. It all made me feel completely powerless and tired.

Yes, some are going to be a$$holes and they will leave you alone if ONE day you feel sad. Those aren't worth your time. But other people who might genuinely care have a limit for this. They aren't your therapists. You can't rely on them every single time your depression kicks in because it's not always possible for them to help you. That's why you get professional help.

Well said Hellhound and I agree.

 

[jc972]

Real friends would still act like friends are supposed to regardless of your situation.

 

[MikeyC]

Like, 10 minutes ago, I began feeling very down and negative (this has been my average state of mind lately). I told myself to shut up with the negative self talk, which seemed to work.

Great! Keep going with this and you'll get better.

I apologize if this post sounds mean. I'm going to speak from personal experience here.

Many, many times, I've met people I've tried to make friends with, who showed me that dark side you're refering to. I've tried to be there for them as much as I could, but everything reached a point in where it was just impossible to deal with them.

Every single day it was the same pessimistic, self bashing, negative attitude. In order to keep them calm, I had to spend hours trying to reassure them, acting like a therapist. The whole thing was EXTREMELY exhausting to me. There was nothing much I could say that could help them, because it all depended on them getting help. It all made me feel completely powerless and tired.

Yes, some are going to be a$$holes and they will leave you alone if ONE day you feel sad. Those aren't worth your time. But other people who might genuinely care have a limit for this. They aren't your therapists. You can't rely on them every single time your depression kicks in because it's not always possible for them to help you. That's why you get professional help.

This hits the nail on the head. I have also played therapist and it does get quite exhausting sometimes. There's only so much you can say or do before you realise that nothing is working and you get fed up.

Great post, Hellhound. :thumbup:

 

[Duzmiu]

i dont think ive actually been in a situation like that wether its a friend or me going to the dark side.
i tend to keep my emotions to myself so if i feel down i go quiet and most people leave me alone in that state as i dont like to talk when im in that mood and i can be a bit of a prick sometimes aswell.
only 1 person i can think of who ive been ok with when in that mood and she didnt say anything just laid down with me and we fell asleep cuddling lol

as far as it goes to people that only care when its fun, well il'd have to agree with what Hellhound said if there not willing to stick by you there not worth it