How are you feeling?

[Starry]

I wish people knew me better.
I don't like how I come across on here - I think everyone thinks I am some paranoid insecure freak that is difficult to get along with - constantly needing reassurance and feeling sorry for himself. A person who is fairly unintelligent, stubborn and disagreeable.

I fear it's ostracizing my acceptance in this forum - making myself more of an outsider than I already feel.

I wish someone knew me - properly. I wish someone could see how much I have to offer to take the time to know me - how much goodness I have inside me.

Instead I have the direct opposite effect. So I sit here, and churn away my feelings... by myself, making myself more and more isolated - physically and psychologically.

I don't think any of those negative things about you! I see you as a sensitive, caring, intelligent person who has been hurt a lot and who feels the pain of so many others. You have a lot of goodness within you. *Hugs*

*********

I'm cold. But feeling good about having put Christmas decorations up yesterday... Unfortunately, I was planning on collecting Mistletoe and Holly today so I could finish decorating, but it's absolutely pouring with rain. :/ I want the frost back!

 

[SoScared]

Cold. So very cold. When everyone goes to bed they turn down the heat almost to the point where it's off. Which means the temperature drops about 3°C (5.5°F) in a matter of minutes.

It's so jarring when you're doing something and it quite hurts the joint in my right hand too.

Mmmm…I guess the wacky-backy has rights and feelings too.

 

[Phoenixx]

Hm, kind of anxious but good. My brother and I are going to finish up our Christmas shopping today.

Lately we've been arguing more often than ever. Every time we talk it either ends in argument or ignorance. He's gotten to be such an arse over the years, I don't even know why. I don't know whether it's anger, jealousy, boredom, or what. It just pisses me off how he acts and treats me and other people.

Basically I just want to have a good day and not argue for once. I love this time of year, but lately I haven't been getting into the Christmas spirit lately. :/ Hopefully by tonight I'll be more in a festive mood.

 

[Starry]

Tired and a little stressed. Went out to walk the dog this afternoon and ended up panicking... By the time I got back to the front door my hands were trembling so much I struggled to get the key in the lock and my heart was pounding so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest! I feel much calmer now, however.

 

[Opaline]

Like my hands and feet are slowly turning to blocks of ice. My house is freeeeeeeezing.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Like my hands and feet are slowly turning to blocks of ice. My house is freeeeeeeezing.

You must be in the next room. It is 60 degrees in my house right now. I just turned on the heater.

 

[planemo]

sad.......

 

[Graeme1988]

No' great tae be honest, depressed in fact. Just really depressed. :sad:

But then, I always find am more depressed during the winter, anyway.

 

[Raichel]

Just really depressed. I hear ya Graeme.

On top of that I've been having intense feelings of self hatred lately. The past few days I constantly wanted to hurt myself. Bang my head against a wall until I pass out or hit myself till my skin is bruised. I haven't actually done it, but I can't seem to get these images out of my head. Also, I barely sleep at night because of nightmares involving train suicides. Something on the news two weeks ago about a kid jumping in front of a high speed vehicle after years of bullying.

Sorry for the negative, but I'm just really confused ... and ****ed up in the head it seems. I wonder if this is what people with ocd experience on a daily basis.

 

[Graeme1988]

Just really depressed. I hear ya Graeme.

On top of that I've been having intense feelings of self hatred lately. The past few days I constantly wanted to hurt myself. Bang my head against a wall until I pass out or hit myself till my skin is bruised. I haven't actually done it, but I can't seem to get these images out of my head. Also, I barely sleep at night because of nightmares involving train suicides. Something on the news two weeks ago about a kid jumping in front of a high speed vehicle after years of bullying.

Sorry for the negative, but I'm just really confused ... and ****ed up in the head it seems. I wonder if this is what people with ocd experience on a daily basis.

Oh, I can relate there, Raichel. Unfortunately... not the OCD but the self-hatred. That's no' great, either. :sad: But then neither's feelin' in such a sh!te mood, you cannae socialise. Ihould really do something to cheer myself up. but I don't know what? I've been thinkin' about recording and posting another voice clip on here... but am unsure as to whether or not my mood would change whilst I'm recording? :thinking::idontknow:

 

[Raichel]

You certainly have a great voice Graeme! I've been wanting to say this for a very long time but somehow kept forgetting about it: I absolutely love Scottish accents! It generally sounds warm, friendly and inviting. I find most UK accents quite intimidating, but Scottish is lovely.

 

[MikeyC]

Hm, kind of anxious but good. My brother and I are going to finish up our Christmas shopping today.

Lately we've been arguing more often than ever. Every time we talk it either ends in argument or ignorance. He's gotten to be such an arse over the years, I don't even know why. I don't know whether it's anger, jealousy, boredom, or what. It just pisses me off how he acts and treats me and other people.

Basically I just want to have a good day and not argue for once. I love this time of year, but lately I haven't been getting into the Christmas spirit lately. :/ Hopefully by tonight I'll be more in a festive mood.

It sucks that the two of you are constantly fighting. I have a feeling it's got more to do with him than it does with you.

 

[Graeme1988]

You certainly have a great voice Graeme! I've been wanting to say this for a very long time but somehow kept forgetting about it: I absolutely love Scottish accents! It generally sounds warm, friendly and inviting. I find most UK accents quite intimidating, but Scottish is lovely.

Aw! Thanks for the compliment, Raichel. :thumbup: (Though, it's usually the Scots that have the intimidating accent. Well, some people think that, anyway)

 

[takeheart]

right now i feel lonely but apart from that im good good

 

[Opaline]

Have a slamming migraine :sad:

Feeling kind of depressed, too. Although I think I read somewhere (perhaps it was in Oliver Sacks' Migraine) that feelings of depression can sometimes accompany migraine attacks. That combined with my time of the month and my brother being a jerk probably = feeling down. Unfortunately it's setting off my neurosis about my sdkljgeaoiruwiosjlkf hands, but I'm trying not to obsess. God, what a ridiculous problem to have :sad:

Gahhh I just don't feel well at all right now. I think I'll be in bed early tonight.

 

[JuiceB]

Depressed and lonely. And I discovered earlier this week that my hair is falling out.

 

[Phoenixx]

It sucks that the two of you are constantly fighting. I have a feeling it's got more to do with him than it does with you.

^ Possibly. I never know what to think.

Shopping went pretty good today though. We actually didn't even argue for once and we were out for 5 hours. (We went to the mall, so it took almost an hour to get there and back) I finished up my friend's gift, got a small gift for my mom, tried to get something for my brother but he was being picky, got a few more holiday wrapping stuff, and helped my brother shop for his girlfriend.

Nothing screams awkward than when you're looking at jewelry with your brother and the aid comes over all smiling looking at the both of you and starts helping. Then when my brother tells her about shopping for his girlfriend, she just asks us confused, "You're not together?" mg:

 

[Opaline]

Nothing screams awkward than when you're looking at jewelry with your brother and the aid comes over all smiling looking at the both of you and starts helping. Then when my brother tells her about shopping for his girlfriend, she just asks us confused, "You're not together?" mg:

Yesssss, people used to ask my brother all the time if I was his "girl". *shudder* haha. I always get paranoid that people think we're a couple when we go out in public together. Ah, so what. Sisters and brothers aren't allowed to go places together? Everyone always just assumes couples

 

[Phoenixx]

Yesssss, people used to ask my brother all the time if I was his "girl". *shudder* haha. I always get paranoid that people think we're a couple when we go out in public together. Ah, so what. Sisters and brothers aren't allowed to go places together? Everyone always just assumes couples

^ Yeah it's so awkward. It's never happened to me before though, so it kind of surprised me. I know we don't look alike, but I figured we at least would be mistaken as either friends or cousins, not a couple.

Eh, whatever.

 

[superfluouslyme]

Just got some wonderful news. Mouse, my sister's cat that was diagnosed with cancer 8 months ago, never did have cancer! I'm elated, but really upset because we almost had her put to sleep.