Boyfriend Sociopath?

[angelcat]

I am starting to wonder about my boyfriend, whether if he is a sociopath or just a narcissist. He has no tolerance or empathy for anyone with disabilities or illness. For example our cat got sick with a urinary tract infection, he was just kind of ignoring the problem and saying things like the cat has anxiety problems and it is just a "weak" cat. We have two cats, one is a rescue cat and the other is from a breeder. He favors the one from the breeder and thinks it is superior. I confronted my boyfriend on his lack of concern for the cat and he just gets in the weird mode, like a mini rage and starts blaming me. Then a few minutes later my boyfriend starts whining saying he is depressed and that I am not paying enough attention to him. Any opinions?
My boyfriend also has a addiction to porn and sex.

 

[Hellhound]

Sorry if this sounds insensitive, but are you sure you want to be with him...?

 

[angelcat]

We have been together for a while. He said he would get therapy and we would go to couples counseling.

 

[Facethefear]

My cat had the same thing and it almost killed him. His wailing was unlike anything I had ever heard and I got him to the vet at the last minute. "It is very painful and affects a cat's lower urinary system often preventing the bladder from emptying correctly and may even cause fatal blockage of the urethra.
I also had a manfriend addicted to porn, sex, alcohol and laziness. He was a bad liar also.
He blamed me for every one of his problems that started way before he met me.
Your boyfriend is a selfish jerk and you should leave him immediately with both cats and you will thank me later. Do it before your cat dies a painful death and he starts hitting you. If you do not leave him you will be in a "weird mode" for the duration of your relationship. You will be lucky to come out of this alive and sane.

 

[Sacrament]

Sounds like a great guy.

 

[angelcat]

Thanks for your comment. I gave my cat D-mannose and it seems to be working for the infection, I would take my cat to the vet if the problem didn't go away. I have chronic bladder infections myself and I know that stuff works better than antibiotics.

 

[Chess]

We have been together for a while. He said he would get therapy and we would go to couples counseling.

As someone who's been there, if he says he'll go and never does, don't wait on it.

I wasn't there to hear exactly what was said, but rage fits, blame games, and guilt trips are never a sign of a healthy individual and don't take place in healthy relationships.

 

[Opaline]

Yeah, get out while you can. I watched my mother go through this same type of thing (minus the cat stuff). Like one of the posters above said, you'll be lucky to get out of it still mentally intact.

 

[Silatuyok]

That's sad.
On another note, a relatively cheap visit to the vet could clear up those problems in a jiffy.

 

[coyote]

That's sad.
On another note, a relatively cheap visit to the vet could clear up those problems in a jiffy.

i didn't think vets would neuter a human male

 

[Facethefear]

I can't help your boyfriend but this might help your cat - vitamin C chewable tablets:

Home Remedy to Treat Urinary Tract Infections in Cats - Yahoo! Voices - voices.yahoo.com

 

[Labyrinthine]

i didn't think vets would neuter a human male

They might make an exception.

 

[MrSunday]

I am starting to wonder about my boyfriend, whether if he is a sociopath or just a narcissist. He has no tolerance or empathy for anyone with disabilities or illness. For example our cat got sick with a urinary tract infection, he was just kind of ignoring the problem and saying things like the cat has anxiety problems and it is just a "weak" cat. We have two cats, one is a rescue cat and the other is from a breeder. He favors the one from the breeder and thinks it is superior. I confronted my boyfriend on his lack of concern for the cat and he just gets in the weird mode, like a mini rage and starts blaming me. Then a few minutes later my boyfriend starts whining saying he is depressed and that I am not paying enough attention to him. Any opinions?
My boyfriend also has a addiction to porn and sex.

Narcissistic personality disorder

A person with a narcissistic personality disorder swings between seeing themselves as special and fearing they are worthless. They may act as if they have an inflated sense of their own importance and show an intense need for other people to look up to them.

Other symptoms include:

1. exaggerating their own achievements and abilities
2. thinking they are entitled to be treated better than other people
3. exploiting other people for their own personal gain
4. lacking empathy for other people's weaknesses
5. looking down on people they feel are ‘beneath’ them, while feeling deeply envious of people they see as being ‘above’ them

Symptoms

Do you want to stay with him? If so, you need to put the effort in to make him feel valued. It's gonna be hard. If you feel this is too much for you, leave.

You need to give him a lot of attention. He needs to feel valued. It's likely he does not like your cat because it appears you are giving more attention to the cat. So try to give him enough attention and keep him happy. As a result, he will less likely to experience the symptoms above. Try to get him involved in different activities. Take him to the cinema, restaurant, ice skating and visit new places. Do different things together, that will keep his mind off sex/porn.

You have to understand that he is not thinking rationally. Put yourself in his position and see things from his perspective. This will help you to deal with him effectively.

 

[x Will x]

Sociopaths are only intrested in doing things that will benifit them, they dont care about who they hurt, they have no remorse, are manipulative and are extremely good at faking emotions.
If you still think he might be a sociopath.. you can test it by using the PCLR its basically a sociopath checklist used in the diagnosis of sociopaths/ pschopaths.
if he is.. the best thing to do is leave him.. theres no cure for people like that.

Hope that helps

 

[shakethelight]

Personal I feel the women's intuition is one of our most significant features- It's a very powerful tool in our lives, if we choose to listen to that little voice. Sometimes we have to combine intuition with planning - and that's where it gets tricky. I am by no means saying leave your boyfriend. I do not know the histroy of your relationship. I would look for red flags that would indicate symptoms of a sociopath.

Here's a pretty good website Profile of the Sociopath

 

[Facethefear]

No No Never MrSunday. You must never have had the displeasure of knowing a true sociopath or you would not be advising angelcat to stick around and try to help him with effort and understanding.

He will never change and any promises he makes to get therapy, etc. are lies and are only used to keep his latest victim around. When he thinks his lies are being believed that gives him the satisfaction that he can fool all the people all the time. They are con men and they know it but they will lie about that too.

They don't care if someone's feelings are hurt because they do not have normal human emotions. Once they know they have power over you they gotcha! Then they control your mind, body, money, whatever you got. If you keep giving, they will keep taking until there is nothing left. Then they move on to someone else and repeat the same old con. They usually cheat on you. Then they laugh at you.

What normal person would be jealous of a cat who needs medical attention? This guy is a person you run from while you still have the strength otherwise, in a short while, angel cat will think she is losing her mind wondering what more she could do to make him happy. He will drain her energy and mess with her mind. Leaving guys like this can be dangerous and must be done without him knowing beforehand. Get away and never go back.

You might think I am being overdramatic but ... ponder this. I lived with a creature such as this and got out, but 10 years later, I had to appear in court in Toronto because this monster had beaten his live-in girlfriend to death with a baseball bat (and with another girlfriend present) and pleaded not guilty! In fact, his legal aid lawyer implied that I might have murdered the gf out of jealousy. Well, the jury of his peers (lol) saw right through his lies and found him guilty and sent this coward off to prison for 13 years. It seems his dead girlfriend had upset him when she and the other girlfriend got into a catfight and ruined the ending of the video he was watching causing him to go into a major rage and he killed her. Rewinding the video might have been better but he knew he could always lie his way out of everything because he thought he was a genius amongst a world of morons.

The worst case scenario but IT HAPPENS.

 

[MrSunday]

No No Never MrSunday. You must never have had the displeasure of knowing a true sociopath or you would not be advising angelcat to stick around and try to help him with effort and understanding.

First, none of us are medical experts. We do not know if he is a sociopath. I suspect he is a narcissist, but I could be wrong. I prefer not to assume the worst. Even the member who started the topic is not sure what he is suffering from.

He will never change and any promises he makes to get therapy, etc. are lies and are only used to keep his latest victim around. When he thinks his lies are being believed that gives him the satisfaction that he can fool all the people all the time. They are con men and they know it but they will lie about that too.

Like I said before, we do not know what is he suffering from. We can only suspect. He needs to be seen by a medical doctor if possible.

They don't care if someone's feelings are hurt because they do not have normal human emotions. Once they know they have power over you they gotcha! Then they control your mind, body, money, whatever you got. If you keep giving, they will keep taking until there is nothing left. Then they move on to someone else and repeat the same old con. They usually cheat on you. Then they laugh at you.

Do you have evidence for this? Present the source as well. In addition, define a sociopath and the characteristics of s sociopath.

What normal person would be jealous of a cat who needs medical attention?

Define normal.

You might think I am being overdramatic but ... ponder this. I lived with a creature such as this and got out, but 10 years later, I had to appear in court in Toronto because this monster had beaten his live-in girlfriend to death with a baseball bat (and with another girlfriend present) and pleaded not guilty! In fact, his legal aid lawyer implied that I might have murdered the gf out of jealousy. Well, the jury of his peers (lol) saw right through his lies and found him guilty and sent this coward off to prison for 13 years. It seems his dead girlfriend had upset him when she and the other girlfriend got into a catfight and ruined the ending of the video he was watching causing him to go into a major rage and he killed her. Rewinding the video might have been better but he knew he could always lie his way out of everything because he thought he was a genius amongst a world of morons.

You have been through difficulty, but your experiences cannot be generalised upon similar cases.

So overall, we do not know what he is suffering from. I suspect he is a narcissist and told the member the course of action that should be taken. If he turns out to be dangerous and if there is evidence to support that, then I would advise the member to leave him.

 

[MrSunday]

Sociopaths are only intrested in doing things that will benifit them, they dont care about who they hurt, they have no remorse, are manipulative and are extremely good at faking emotions.
If you still think he might be a sociopath.. you can test it by using the PCLR its basically a sociopath checklist used in the diagnosis of sociopaths/ pschopaths.
if he is.. the best thing to do is leave him.. theres no cure for people like that.

Hope that helps

I highly doubt this member is qualified to carry out such tests.

If the member is truly convinced her boyfriend is suffering from a personality disorder, he should take a visit to the doctors.

 

[BlueDays]

No No Never MrSunday. You must never have had the displeasure of knowing a true sociopath or you would not be advising angelcat to stick around and try to help him with effort and understanding.

He will never change and any promises he makes to get therapy, etc. are lies and are only used to keep his latest victim around. When he thinks his lies are being believed that gives him the satisfaction that he can fool all the people all the time. They are con men and they know it but they will lie about that too.

They don't care if someone's feelings are hurt because they do not have normal human emotions. Once they know they have power over you they gotcha! Then they control your mind, body, money, whatever you got. If you keep giving, they will keep taking until there is nothing left. Then they move on to someone else and repeat the same old con. They usually cheat on you. Then they laugh at you.

What normal person would be jealous of a cat who needs medical attention? This guy is a person you run from while you still have the strength otherwise, in a short while, angel cat will think she is losing her mind wondering what more she could do to make him happy. He will drain her energy and mess with her mind. Leaving guys like this can be dangerous and must be done without him knowing beforehand. Get away and never go back.

^Could not have given any better advice then this.

Your boyfriend sounds like an uncompassionate manipulator. If he has no compassion for your sick (and in pain) cat, how do you think he will act when you are feeling down or need help?

 

[MrSunday]

^Could not have given any better advice then this.

Your boyfriend sounds like an uncompassionate manipulator. If he has no compassion for your sick (and in pain) cat, how do you think he will act when you are feeling down or need help?

How is he a manipulator?

Some people do not like animals at all. There are people that kill foxes. Some of these people still care for other human beings. The point I'm making is that, just because a person does not like animals, does not mean they are not compassionate towards people.