Heirachy of your needs

[KiaKaha]

So I was reading about Maslow's hierarchy of needs - which is a visual illustration of our basic needs to function and live in a healthy way.

I find it interesting that the middle part of the triangle - a sense of belonging, being part of a group, love, affection is moderately high - all things that require a certain degree of social skills, self confidence and reliability on the acceptance of other people.

Mattering to others matters - not just because it feels good - but its a psychological aspect of surivival? Do you agree...?

What happens if people are shunned, ignored, forgotten about and turned away...?

Also - how many of these human needs are being fufilled in your own life...?

1. Physical safety and security
2. financial security
3. friendship
4. the attention of others
5. Being listened too
6. Guidance
7. respect
8. validation
9. expressing your feelings
10. sense of belonging
11. nurturing
12. physically touching and being touched
13. intimacy
14. sexual expression
15. loyalty and trust
16. a sense of acomplishment
17. a sense of progress toward goals
18. feeling competent or mastergul in some area
19. make a contribution
20. fun and play
21. sense of freedom and independence
22. creativity
23. unconditional love

All of this makes sense to me - particularly the needs that come from outside of our own selves. I am just wondering, how badly would it affect you or someone else if these needs were not being met.

 

[Bustn Justin]

I am in the safety category for sure.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

My therapist has been over this with me before.
Unfortunately, the largest block-- health, food and sleep are something I do not have fulfilled on a daily basis; same goes for removal from danger.

I'm supposed to work on these things but have no idea where to start.
Oh, well...

 

[Arthur_Dent]

Fully fulfilled:

1. nurturing

Mostly fulfilled:

1. Physical safety and security
2. the attention of others
3. a sense of progress toward goals
4. feeling competent or masterful in some area
5. creativity

Somewhat fulfilled

1. financial security
2. friendship
3. the attention of others
4. Being listened too
5. Guidance
6. respect
7. validation
8. sense of belonging
9. loyalty and trust
10. a sense of acomplishment
11. make a contribution
12. fun and play

Completely unfulfilled:

1. expressing your feelings
2. physically touching and being touched
3. intimacy
4. sexual expression
5. sense of freedom and independence
6. unconditional love

 

[Psychedelicious]

Needless


1. Physical safety and security - Yes
2. financial security - Somewhat
3. friendship - No
4. the attention of others - For me, Yes
5. Being listened to - No
6. Guidance - No
7. respect - No
8. validation - No
9. expressing your feelings - No
10. sense of belonging No
11. nurturing - No
12. physically touching and being touched - Yes
13. intimacy - No
14. sexual expression - No
15. loyalty and trust - No
16. a sense of accomplishment - No
17. a sense of progress toward goals - No
18. feeling competent or masterful in some area - No
19. make a contribution - No
20. fun and play - No
21. sense of freedom and independence - No
22. creativity - No
23. unconditional love - No

No for most things, I don't know where to start :/ I really need to work on the needs that I can fulfill myself.

 

[KiaKaha]

My therapist has been over this with me before.
Unfortunately, the largest block-- health, food and sleep are something I do not have fulfilled on a daily basis; same goes for removal from danger.

I'm supposed to work on these things but have no idea where to start.
Oh, well...

That really sucks - I am sorry :-(
I wish I could help.

Physical safety and security - Yes
financial security - No
friendship - No
the attention of others - No
Being listened too - No
Guidance - No
respect - No
validation - No
expressing your feelings - On here yes - IRL, No
sense of belonging - Defientely not
nurturing - No
physically touching and being touched - No

intimacy - No :-(
sexual expression - No
loyalty and trust - No
a sense of acomplishment - No
a sense of progress toward goals - Sort of
feeling competent or masterful in some area -No
make a contribution - No
fun and play - Sometimes
sense of freedom and independence - No
creativity - No
unconditional love - No

 

[Srijita52]

Physical safety and security - Yes
financial security - Yes, still with parents.
friendship - Somewhat, mostly no.
the attention of others - No
Being listened too - No
Guidance - No
respect - No
validation - No
expressing your feelings - No, except for here.
sense of belonging - No
nurturing - No
physically touching and being touched - No

intimacy - No
sexual expression - No
loyalty and trust - No
a sense of acomplishment - No
a sense of progress toward goals - No
feeling competent or masterful in some area -No
make a contribution - No
fun and play - Not really
sense of freedom and independence - No
creativity - No
unconditional love - No
EDIT: Wow that's a lot of Nos

 

[Srijita52]

My therapist has been over this with me before.
Unfortunately, the largest block-- health, food and sleep are something I do not have fulfilled on a daily basis; same goes for removal from danger.

I'm supposed to work on these things but have no idea where to start.
Oh, well...

I'm sorry Weirdy.

 

[lurknomore]

Physical safety and security- yes
financial security- I'm working on it
friendship- a little
the attention of others- no
Being listened to- sort of?
Guidance- no
respect- sort of
validation- no
expressing your feelings- no
sense of belonging- no
nurturing- no
physically touching and being touched- no
intimacy- no
sexual expression- no
loyalty and trust- no
a sense of accomplishment- no, although I know I have accomplished things, the sense that what I've accomplished matters or is important isn't there
a sense of progress toward goals- no
feeling competent or masterful in some area- not really
make a contribution- no
fun and play- sort of
sense of freedom and independence- no
creativity- no
unconditional love- no

 

[Falkor]

Physical safety and security Yes
financial security It's better now
friendship No, not really
the attention of others No, i feel invisible
Being listened too Sometimes, yes.
Guidance I have therapy.
respect Yes, people like me ''online''
validation I try to relax when there are conflicts
expressing your feelings Somewhat
sense of belonging I wish
nurturing No
physically touching Now and then
intimacy Now and then
sexual expression Now and then
loyalty and trust I trust my girlfriend, family, therapist
a sense of acomplishment Yes, though I want more more more
a sense of progress toward goals Yes, a lot
feeling competent or mastergul in some area NO
make a contribution No
fun and play No I miss out on that sometimes
sense of freedom and independence I want more freedom
creativity Yes
unconditional love We are fighters

 

[SilentBird]

I'm just trying to survive.

 

[EscapeArtist]

I do agree actually... can you say that you do or do not?
I have previously come to the conclusion that I can't focus on anything (school, for example) until I meet the "sense of belonging in a group" one. It's interesting that self esteem is just above that one... It would make sense why self esteem is largely unavailable to me at the level that other people have it. I can build up some self esteem, but it is true that without outside sources seeing you in a positive light, there is no way to reach that potential for mostly unfaltering confidence

 

[Gaucho]

wow, the last top 3 parts of the pyramid i don't have any. haha. no wonder I'm depressed, things have to change

 

[KiaKaha]

I do agree actually... can you say that you do or do not?
I have previously come to the conclusion that I can't focus on anything (school, for example) until I meet the "sense of belonging in a group" one. It's interesting that self esteem is just above that one... It would make sense why self esteem is largely unavailable to me at the level that other people have it. I can build up some self esteem, but it is true that without outside sources seeing you in a positive light, there is no way to reach that potential for mostly unfaltering confidence

Yeah - well the higher up the triangle, the more difficult it is to attain those needs. Its interesting to note that "a sense of belonging" and acceptance comes before self esteem - which suggests to me that in order to have belief and good feelings about yourself, acceptance would need to come from the outside first.

 

[Kiwong]

Self Actualisation

I have reached this level, through my running, winning medals, running PBs. Having reports and photos published.

Safety, removal from danger

Seeing though every day I suffer from irrational fears revolving my anxiety, and a desire to flee certain situations I'd say no to achieving this need.

Self esteem

In some areas of my life I have high self esteem, in other next to nothing.

Sense of belonging

I do feel as if I belong to groups, I have a friend or two. Love and affection is harder to achieve than self esteem I think.

Physiological health, food, sleep

Food sleep, yes. Health physical OK, but I have a mental illness.

 

[Kiwong]

I matter to the people that I trust, they matter to me.

Trying to get acceptance from everyone is a certain way to disappointment and depression. If I'd listened to every damn critic out there I'd have topped myself long ago.

 

[KiaKaha]

I matter to the people that I trust, they matter to me.

Trying to get acceptance from everyone is a certain way to disappointment and depression. If I'd listened to every damn critic out there I'd have topped myself long ago.

That is very true, and its something that I struggle with - however I believe that some people don't matter to anyone, because most of us are wrapped up in our own worlds - and the people who feel like they dont matter is mostly people who no one wants to deal with. Seeing as mattering matters - I often wonder, why some people cant get themselves of the rut that they are in.

 

[coyote]

...how many of these human needs are being fufilled in your own life...?

1. Physical safety and security - yes
2. financial security - no
3. friendship - yes
4. the attention of others - yes
5. Being listened too - yes
6. Guidance - no
7. respect - yes
8. validation - yes
9. expressing your feelings - yes
10. sense of belonging - yes
11. nurturing - no
12. physically touching and being touched - yes
13. intimacy - yes
14. sexual expression - yes
15. loyalty and trust - yes
16. a sense of accomplishment - no
17. a sense of progress toward goals - no
18. feeling competent or masterful in some area - yes
19. make a contribution - yes
20. fun and play - yes
21. sense of freedom and independence - yes
22. creativity - yes
23. unconditional love - no

 

[coyote]

i think what matters most is whether or not YOU believe your needs are being fulfilled

someone else may have enough money in the bank to last me for life, and yet they may not feel as though they are financially secure

someone else may receive the same attention as i do from others and yet feel as though they don't receive any attention at all, while i feel like i have enough

someone else may think i've accomplished alot, but i don't particularly feel that way at all

 

[Lea]

About just 1). (Not that it was always guaranteed either with the physical safety). But I don´t feel like anything is unfair with that, because it all comes down to that I am an unintelligent idiot, if I was a bit more capable, maybe I would get more points.

Although not sure it has everything to do with intelligence, for example the sex area, if I accepted every sexual offer I don´t think it would make me more accomplished or a "better" person