Whats your response to people when they ask "whyre you so quiet"?

[Shyangel]

"Because I don't feel the need to constantly blurt out every little thing that enters my head".

Haha, great response, Astimeburns.

I would say something to that degree or much more rude and sarcastic.
The only way I really know how to talk to people is rudeness and sarcasm, no wonder I don't have any friends. lol I don't even notice it, I just have a horribly rude sense of humor. I get a kick out of it and every one's just standing there staring at me, next thing, I'm standing alone and I'm thinking, " Did I do it again?"

 

[Srijita52]

I either shrug my shoulders or say "I don't know". From my personal experience, people that ask you that are just trying to make fun of you.

^Hmm.. I'll try it next time, thanks

 

[lonely_drummer]

ha! usually when someone says that I stare at them with a huge grin and not say a single word lol. To me, not answering but starring at the same time really gives the the notion of, why are you asking stupid questions? but its great because I didn't have to say a single word

 

[KiaKaha]

People dont ask me that. If I am feeling socially anxious, shy and quiet.... then I am usually just overlooked. In these circumstances people arent particularly interested in why I am quiet they are too busy enjoying themselves with the more animated and extroverted company. The shy quiet socially awkward person in the corner is the least noticed and the least concerened about... In fact... I would actually love to be asked that... then it would show that they are at the very least curious about what kind of person I am.

But you know... I guess it really depends on what kind of person you are. Some people would get annoyed being asked that... like they have to justify the reasons why they are the way they are. Shyness (if you want to call it that) manifests itself in different ways.

 

[doubtmyself]

I was actually told today "all you ever respond with is nervous laughter" and I was amazed that my immediate response was a rant about how people assume I'm quiet in general just because I don't talk to them. Everyone that tells me I'm quiet is totally right but I HATE when they tell me because, how do you respond to that? I wouldn't recommend yelling at everyone but I think what you said (person: "Whyre you so quiet..?"
me: "Whyre you so annoying?") is brilliant.

or...".why are you so f....ing rude?"

 

[Kiwong]

I'm not all that quiet.

 

[mozart87]

I am started to think that speaking the truth "I'm shy" would be the best possible answer

 

[theslowesthand]

ha! usually when someone says that I stare at them with a huge grin and not say a single word lol. To me, not answering but staring at the same time really gives the the notion of, why are you asking stupid questions? but its great because I didn't have to say a single word

That seems about the best response i've seen here (imho).
You gotta try make them see how "utterly stupid & pointless" their comment was, so that THEY learn from it.
Or maybe shoot a similar "question" right back ---> 'Why are you so confident and talkative?' (this will put the focus back on them, ie THEY'LL be the one "in the hot seat", under YOUR scrutiny/judgement. You know, just throw the ****e RIGHT BACK AT THEM, in the SAME FORM. They'll learn sooner or (much) later...

 

[lonely_drummer]

That seems about the best response i've seen here (imho).
You gotta try make them see how "utterly stupid & pointless" their comment was, so that THEY learn from it.
Or maybe shoot a similar "question" right back ---> 'Why are you so confident and talkative?' (this will put the focus back on them, ie THEY'LL be the one "in the hot seat", under YOUR scrutiny/judgement. You know, just throw the ****e RIGHT BACK AT THEM, in the SAME FORM. They'll learn sooner or (much) later...

hey i like that!!!! my silent stare is very effective but you can't break that stare, so almost harder than actually speaking up and giving them a piece of your mind. but it works, they're left there feeling stupid like they should

 

[Kinetik]

An ex girlfriend bought me this t-shirt a few years ago after she noticed how I could never mingle properly at her family gatherings and nights out with her friends unless completely drunk. It's funny but I could never wear it out of the house.

 

[lonely_drummer]

An ex girlfriend bought me this t-shirt a few years ago after she noticed how I could never mingle properly at her family gatherings and nights out with her friends unless completely drunk. It's funny but I could never wear it out of the house.

lmao!!!! i want one!!!!!

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Its a rhetorical question. It is designed to get you to start talking... to let you know they want you to talk more. They don't understand that it's DIFFICULT to talk. They literally don't comprehend that there is a deep seated feeling of anxiety and insecurity underlying the real reason. They want you to do something you are incapable of and that frustrates them.

Usually the best response would probably be to laugh and say I don't know. .

 

[ThatOneShyKid]

Whenever someone asks me, all I say is: "Because I am."

And if they stop talking to me after that, well, it's not like they wanted to know anyway.

 

[Sassielassie]

I have nothing to say, but look out when I do it'll be important!
I learn alot by being quiet & listening.

 

[Sassielassie]

Im Sassielassie, A new kid on te block. Would someone let me know how to receive a message? I can't get anywhere in this site. Thanks!

 

[jonas89]

why am I so quiet ? because no one plans a murder out loud hahaha I have always wanted to say that to someone

 

[totoro]

Sorry for the swearing lol

hehe that is awesome!

 

[Joan6466]

I love those humorous ideas! When I taught classes on Social Anxiety, many people hated that question. But when I was teaching assertiveness classes, there were variations of that question that people hated as well. Comments like, "you have an accent" or You're sure tall, short", "what happened to your hair?"
When people are nervous-- and many people are when they first meet, there is a tendency to make a comment on the first thing you notice. Rarely is it an act of meanness. But it still feels mean when you don't know what to say. Wherever you are vulnerable, be prepared, have something memorized to say. "Why are you so quiet"?
Oh, I'm just enjoying listening to the music, or I'm enjoying watching people." and smile.
Now- deflect.
When someone asks you a question, the spotlight stays on you when you respond. You must practice throwing the spotlight back to the other, or you're still trapped. Just throw back one of those starter questions we begin conversations with.
"So-how do you happen to be here?" " Do you work around here?"
Volunteer something about yourself, where you wouldn't mind if the conversation tilted in that direction.'Yah, I volunteer at the ___ with Mary."
Or tilt the quietness question, "I guess I love listening to music more than talking"
"I'm a bird-watcher so being quiet really helps."
The point is --where you deposit your answer is where the conversation is directed.
If you say, "well, I guess I've always been quiet"... you still leave the subject on being quiet, and if you stop there, they follow the bait, and will try to talk about being quiet.
Those boring starter questions are just to start breaking the ice- every culture has some version of them. So practice them so you can tilt the conversation where you wouldn't mind if it landed up talking about food, or music, or gardening, or your work.
It gives you a little oasis in the middle of the what is the hard part for many people- the beginning!
I stumbled along with everyone else when I first began, so don't give up. Practice the words out loud when you're home alone, so it gets imprinted on the brain.