How are you feeling?

[Shyangel]

I feel good now, today was a great day.
I got asked once again to go out with co-workers and i said yes this time, why not
Work itself was also relaxing today. I could even hold on to a conversation with the girl i was working with. We talked about everything, not only shared interests
Unfortunately, i still had those SA moments.
Other then that there was lots of action at work.

That's great! That sounds like huge step in the right direction, you'll be forgetting about you anxiety before you know it.

I bet there are more great days to come.

 

[MikeyC]

I spent some time with my friend last night. We went to a pub, then went back to his place to watch season 3 of The Inbetweeners.

We didn't stay at the pub for very long, maybe an hour. I was still feverish and was getting nauseous, which I'm still experiencing a little bit. I asked if we could leave so I could sit down and not think about my dizziness, to which he agreed.

We get back to his place and we start watching The Inbetweeners (hilarious show, by the way). After one of the episodes we start chatting and we start talking about things like making money, my brother and his girlfriend, etc. My friend doesn't like my brother's girlfriend on a purely superficial level, and he questions why he's with her. The way he was talking about my brother, and about my "defeatist" attitude to life, and about how he just wants to make a lot of money off a few ideas he has made me depressed, and it was at that moment I wanted to leave. As it was, we watched some more of The Inbetweeners and I went to bed, to which I couldn't fall asleep for ages.

This morning, his ex-girlfriend came over and they invited me to lunch with them. I kind of have a crush on her so I would've been keen, but I was too upset to join them (plus I have no money and needed a shower, the latter was what I had said).

A good night basically ruined from a 20 minute conversation. I'm now sitting here at home, depressed, and not wanting to leave. Typical.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I'm wondering if therapy would be a good idea in the long run. I'm not sure what I'd get out of it.

I suppose you won't know if you don't give it a try!

 

[1BlackSheep]

Anxious. Wishing I could do something to change things.

What is it that you want to change?

 

[1BlackSheep]

A good night basically ruined from a 20 minute conversation. I'm now sitting here at home, depressed, and not wanting to leave. Typical.

Sounds like you need some more supportive friends! Any way you can do lunch at a later time with just the ex-girlfriend?

Hope you're feeling better soon!

 

[MikeyC]

Sounds like you need some more supportive friends! Any way you can do lunch at a later time with just the ex-girlfriend?

Hope you're feeling better soon!

He is somewhat supportive, but he just doesn't get it sometimes, and it's worse when he's been drinking.

I could at some stage, but I don't know. Her and I did mention it a while back but we haven't acted upon it yet. I don't know if it's weird or not. Not that I really care at the moment anyway.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I could at some stage, but I don't know. Her and I did mention it a while back but we haven't acted upon it yet. I don't know if it's weird or not. Not that I really care at the moment anyway.

Hmmmmm...maybe you can ask your friend how he'd feel about it because it sounds like she might be interested!

 

[MikeyC]

Hmmmmm...maybe you can ask your friend how he'd feel about it because it sounds like she might be interested!

I don't think she's interested. She's easy to get along with and we became friends through my friend, so when they broke up I hardly see her. In fact the two of them are at lunch right now, so they've remained friends and I know for a fact they've had sex since breaking up, so I'm not too sure what the deal is there. I'll just wait and see what happens.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I don't think she's interested. She's easy to get along with and we became friends through my friend, so when they broke up I hardly see her. In fact the two of them are at lunch right now, so they've remained friends and I know for a fact they've had sex since breaking up, so I'm not too sure what the deal is there. I'll just wait and see what happens.

Meh, doesn't sound like a good idea afterall...

 

[MikeyC]

Meh, doesn't sound like a good idea afterall...

Yeah, totally! I'm not in the right frame of mind for a girlfriend at the moment, anyway, so I guess I'm doing her a favour without her even realising it.

 

[this_portrait]

My head hurts. Again.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

My head hurts. Again.

Haha, we're in the same boat. Have you taken anything for it? How bad is it?

 

[this_portrait]

Haha, we're in the same boat. Have you taken anything for it? How bad is it?

Well, it hurt for two days in a row, then stopped for yesterday, and it started hurting tonight in my evening class and it still does. It's not super painful and it's only on the left side of my head, but it's still annoying. I should probably take a Tylenol for it, but taking Tylenol (well, specifically acetaminophen) too much isn't good, either.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Well, it hurt for two days in a row, then stopped for yesterday, and it started hurting tonight in my evening class and it still does. It's not super painful and it's only on the left side of my head, but it's still annoying. I should probably take a Tylenol for it, but taking Tylenol (well, specifically acetaminophen) too much isn't good, either.

Well, don't listen to too much loud stuff and don't stare into the computer screen too much, especially in the dark! And, whatever you do, don't listen to me! I'll give you a headache instantly::! Whether it's my condemned puns or my LOL-worthy humor, I'm cursed to giving people headaches! Now, get some rest. Hopefully, it'll be gone tomorrow. Hope you feel better.

 

[superfluouslyme]

I'm okay, I think. I saw the therapist today. We ended up talking about my mom and how it appears that I'm doing better since she got married and moved and I stopped living with her. Deep down, I already knew that, but it hurts to think about it. I called my mom and she said she had already had that thought a thousand times. She's okay with the idea, but I feel really bad. I guess that's just part of growing up. She's going to have to learn that her kids are all grown now and I'm going to have to learn to stand on my own without my mom propping me up.

 

[alwaysrunning]

a bit confused and in need of advice, every time i get close to someone i am suddenly convinced that i don't like them anymore. I am an awful person, i don't know why my feelings change so drastically from one day to the next :/ I thought i liked him a lot, but now i am not so sure.

 

[MikeyC]

I spent about half an hour or more on my drum kit, hoping to literally bash out my depression. While it was enjoyable, it didn't work. Sigh. I guess I'll just feel like this all day then.

I'm okay, I think. I saw the therapist today. We ended up talking about my mom and how it appears that I'm doing better since she got married and moved and I stopped living with her. Deep down, I already knew that, but it hurts to think about it. I called my mom and she said she had already had that thought a thousand times. She's okay with the idea, but I feel really bad. I guess that's just part of growing up. She's going to have to learn that her kids are all grown now and I'm going to have to learn to stand on my own without my mom propping me up.

I think most mothers are upset when their kids grow up and aren't dependent anymore. You shouldn't feel bad because that's the circle of life. Kids have to grow up and do their own thing. Of course, if it were up to my mum, I'd be at home until I'm 40, which I hope does not happen.

a bit confused and in need of advice, every time i get close to someone i am suddenly convinced that i don't like them anymore. I am an awful person, i don't know why my feelings change so drastically from one day to the next :/ I thought i liked him a lot, but now i am not so sure.

Are you afraid of being too close to someone? It could be an internal defense mechanism: not allowing yourself to get too close in case you get hurt, so your mind tells you to back off.

 

[dottie]

tl;dr:

angry. my supervisor is a b**** in a very passive-aggressive way. she gives me dirty looks all day, gives one-word responses and answers in incomplete sentences when i ask a question. this does not really answer my questions! she just tells me what to do in the moment so she doesn't really have to deal with it. not why. not what the alternative might be. not what the ramifications of the actions are... it is incomplete, unclear, half-assed training. and lots of contradictions. so when i ask for clarification she gets all huffy and tries to make me feel inferior for being confused. dumb broad. if you don't want to train people then you shouldn't have taken on the position!

i ask my supervisor/trainer and receive little help. then as soon as she steps out i turn around and ask my coworkers the same question and they help me so much more. they speak to me in clear, complete sentences, explaining the whys and hows. so helpful! but they can only do this when she isn't around otherwise they get in trouble. can you believe it? get in trouble for helping? ...yeah.

one of my coworkers told me she dealt with the same exact issues when she was new and training, herself, last year under the same supervisor. she validated everything i said and then some! it was nice to hear that it's not just me (although, i kind of figured). in fact, she said that the supervisor was downright MEAN to one of the new people who was there last year. she is kind of mean towards me but in a dark, passive-aggressive way. it's the condescending tone, huffiness, curtness, eyerolling, and glaring. it's never outright. but the dirty looks she gives me all damn day are exhausting. as soon as she leaves the room it is like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders! it's like the lights are undimmed! it's like the room takes a collective sigh of relief! ...and as soon as she walks back in... egh.

whatever. i just needed to get this out somewhere. i'll deal. but i don't like it.

 

[MikeyC]

^ Unprofessional attitude from your supervisor there, dottie. Why does she have to be that way? It makes no sense.

 

[dottie]

yeah, cattiness is very unprofessional. i kind of see a trickle down from the vice president. the vice president sometimes acts hostile. maybe my supervisor thinks it's ok, too? idk, that's all i can think of. they all scare me!