My former friends are bad friends

OceanMist

Well-known member
The problem with this is many of us don't get to choose our friends, we have to take whatever we can get. I'm 27 and haven't made progress with making friends. In fact, I've regressed as meeting people for me now is more difficult than it was before.

This is another thing I hate about being shy. I hate the friends that I can hang out with. Many of them are losers that talk smack and get into fights and arguments all the time. They also have zero ambition and lie to people. They are potheads and/or drunks. They are selfish a lot of the time.

I don't want to go out meet new people, either.

I hate how we have to keep meeting new people in order to find the best quality of friends.
 

Yes We Can

Well-known member
I know it's easier said than done, but... maybe it would be better if you worked on yourself before trying to meet new ppl. otherwise you're likely to repeat the same patterns. I'm sure you probably already know all of this, but it just reminds me how important it is to work on our self esteem. I really hope you're able to get the help that is needed and the support you deserve. :)
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I hate the friends that I can hang out with.
I have friends who don't have all the best qualities, either, but it's them or nobody.

For yourself, though, maybe you should cut ties with these people if all they want to do is get wasted and talk trash to others. I wouldn't want to hang around them, either. There's better people out there.

I can sense it would be difficult for you to meet others with the mindset you've got, so I agree with Yes We Can that you'll have to learn to love yourself before you can meet others. Maybe I'm wrong, though.

Either way, good luck with whatever decision you make. Making friends is difficult, as is losing them.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
why do you hang out with people you don't like?

I don't. Didn't I say that in my first post?

I stopped hanging out with these people for a while. I did hang out with them because I am shy and making new friends just wasn't happening for me.

It's very hard for me to make friends.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
I have friends who don't have all the best qualities, either, but it's them or nobody.

For yourself, though, maybe you should cut ties with these people if all they want to do is get wasted and talk trash to others. I wouldn't want to hang around them, either. There's better people out there.

I can sense it would be difficult for you to meet others with the mindset you've got, so I agree with Yes We Can that you'll have to learn to love yourself before you can meet others. Maybe I'm wrong, though.

Either way, good luck with whatever decision you make. Making friends is difficult, as is losing them.

Well, they don't always talk trash and get wasted. Well, maybe the wasted part. They are just losers, though, most of them. They are shady, selfish, argumentative, cocky, arrogant. Most of em just have these bad qualities.

They can be friends a decent amount of the time. My complaint is that there are so many better friends out there, and I'm stuck with these losers.

I guess it's up to me to move on and try to make new friends. It's a tough task because I'm so shy, and I haven't done anything for a while to make progress with this.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
If they're losers, then that's not going to make you want to hang out with them. If they're the only friends you've got, your misanthropy would skyrocket because there's nobody nice you can turn to. There's certainly better people out there and I hope you find them through your shyness. :)
 

gustavofring

Well-known member
I often feel like the friendgroup I do have, I keep to just have the feeling to have some sort of a social life going and to have a place to go to to escape from my room every once in a while. Mostly the last thing.

It's not that I particulary like being with them that much anymore. The grapes have turned sour a bit and in general I find them to be argumentative, arrogant and because we're also sort of freelance business partners, very opportunistic (playing games, scheming). There's just a dynamic going on that's very annoying to me. They're not as bad people as the OP's friends, I just find that we have out-grown each other a bit.
 
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OceanMist

Well-known member
Seriously, I rather be bored alone then hang out with the wrong crowds

I used to think this exact same thing, and you know what? I did it. I stopped hanging out with those losers.

But, look at me now, I'm on here complaining about being alone. I'm not happy being alone all the time. It's depressing and boring. I hate how we need people, but we do need people.
 

2QuietForThem

Well-known member
I had to cut a friend off long ago because he was going down a wrong path, just seeing what was happening that day. Like, "Guy, don't you need to pay your rent next week? You don't have the money to buy new rims for your car!" No real job, no focus. I think it's better to let people go than have them drag you into their messed up lives. I'm glad you got away from your "friends". Sounds like it was for the best. Most likely saved you from spending time in jail.
 

IcedEarth25

Well-known member
I learnt a very long time ago if your with the wrong crowd, then they will bring you down and make you miserable. That's why i hardly speak to a couple people i work with but once upon a time they were the only friends i had, so it was with them or being stuck by myself. But afterwards i soon worked out that it would be best to be by myself than with them losers.
 

Bustn Justin

Well-known member
I had some bad friends and made the decision that I whould not be around them anymore. I was depressed because I was lonely and have nothing to do.

Right now I am finding things to do on my spare thime that do not require other people. Eventually met a good buddy on facebook since we share the same type of music.
 

IF ONLY xx

Active member
Sometimes its hard to break a friendship you don't want anymore, especially when you have known them a long time. Its almost like you feel you owe them for being friends with you in the first place - and of course that's not true.
I have some really selfish friends for example 2 really self centered friends I actually do not like in the slightest its like they only speak to me when they want something and its like to talk me down to make themselfs feel better yet I cannot be bothered with all the drama that would come with ignoring them so I just get on with it. There very negative too, I don't think I've ever logged into facebook and seen a positive update, always self centered and pathetic crap.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I have some really selfish friends for example 2 really self centered friends I actually do not like in the slightest its like they only speak to me when they want something and its like to talk me down to make themselfs feel better yet I cannot be bothered with all the drama that would come with ignoring them so I just get on with it. There very negative too, I don't think I've ever logged into facebook and seen a positive update, always self centered and pathetic crap.
This certainly sounds like you need to get rid of those two people.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
Sometimes its hard to break a friendship you don't want anymore, especially when you have known them a long time. Its almost like you feel you owe them for being friends with you in the first place - and of course that's not true.
I have some really selfish friends for example 2 really self centered friends I actually do not like in the slightest its like they only speak to me when they want something and its like to talk me down to make themselfs feel better yet I cannot be bothered with all the drama that would come with ignoring them so I just get on with it. There very negative too, I don't think I've ever logged into facebook and seen a positive update, always self centered and pathetic crap.

Sounds like my friends except for the constant negativity.

My friends go beyond arguing though. Yes, they argue, but they also fight. Some of them go out on Friday nights looking for a fight.
 

Fen

Well-known member
My former friends were all bad friends. I didn't even have ONE thing in common with them.
I closed with each one of them and nowadays I'm completely alone; honestly speaking, I don't know if it's worse now or before.
Surely I don't miss any of them.
 

Kinetik

Well-known member
I cut ties with all my 'friends' and I still regard it as one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Same. I only ever felt awkward around friends I had when I was younger. And sure, there were some good times, but I felt the overall trade-off wasn't worth it. I was only really content to have friendships that were completely on my own terms which obviously isn't all that fair, so in the end I thought it best to sever all ties.

As for the original post, I'd say no friends are better than shïtty friends. I suppose you have to ask yourself whether you genuinely get anything out of their company or not.
 
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OceanMist

Well-known member
Are they really "bad friends"?
Or did you just make a bad choice of friends?

I am so shy that I question whether choice was even used. I was kind of just forced into either having them as friends, or having nobody. I hardly ever have started conversations with people throughout my life.

I guess you could say they chose me.

It basically started in second grade when I met this guy, and I expanded in to his circle of friends.
 
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