Has shyness ever made you turn down a woman who wanted you?

[Adammm]

I haven't had many times where a girl has been interested in me, but whenever it has happened, i've ended up turning them down/running from them every time. :\

I met a girl in the first year of uni who i gradually became really friendly with, and i think she may have liked me (i certainly liked her for a while!). We kissed on the lips a few times on nights out (never anything more than lips though ), and we even got each other valentines cards (how sweet :, but i was always too afraid to ask her out.

Since then i've had a couple of instances where i've met girls on nights out, who have clearly been interested in me, but i've ended up not taking any opportunities due to a fear of being rejected/being too drunk to think lol. I met a girl a few weeks ago who started talking to me, and was being really flirty, and her body language definitely suggested that she liked me. But i just ended up pretty much turning her down due to fears i have about rejection and intimacy.

At least these recent encounters have made me realise i really need to tackle my fear of rejection head on if i want to get a girlfriend or a decent job in the future.

 

[Noca]

many times when i was younger

 

[killtomorrow]

im the same way when i like a someone that likes me i tend to turn them down because i dont think im good enough for them

 

[LadyWench]

Sadly, yes. I used to work at the ambulance company here in town. I worked in the office. There was an EMT there named Tamera that I ended up having feelings for right away. She was so nice and intelligent. She also had a great sense of humor. She'd come into the office and visit with me and another girl that worked there that she was friends with. It was so much fun.

Anyway, to make a long story semi-short, we had a wonderful connection. We agreed on so many things and could talk for hours. When she was working on the weekends (office people had weekends off), she'd call me and tell me to come hang out with her and their crew quarters and stuff. I even got to go on a few ambulance runs with her.

She also danced with me at one of the company's Christmas parties. She brought a friend to the party with her, who was amazingly nice and beautiful. Her name was Jessica and she taught me how to slow dance and do a couple of other dances. It was after she taught me, that I danced with Tamera. I could swear that she had a crush on me...maybe just a little one. I could have asked her out and she could have said yes. Possibly. Probably. I really don't know. And now I will never know. She moved and neither of us work for that company anymore. It's a real shame. If I wasn't so shy and scared, something amazing could have happened. I blame myself 100%.

Sorry this is long and boring.

 

[HH]

There's a very weird situation I'm in at the moment regarding a girl at work, I think she likes me and I like her (a co-worker silently mouthed the words "she loves you" to me) so there's a chance that she has some interest in me. I'm seriously considering asking her out to the cinema or a gig as I feel good about myself at the moment and the confidence is high although I do suffer from shyness/low confidence some times but who cares....LETS DO THIS!!!!

 

[Jake123]

My gayness has turned down women who wanted me.

 

[spider04]

I keep avoiding this cute girl at my school but still she always greets me::
Maybe things will change soon.......::

 

[Jesushasomeoneforme]

yes in third grade but won't do it now

 

[da_illest101]

yea with one girl at my work, she was always hugging me and looking at me sweet but i couldn't capitalized on it. that really suck cause i had a huge crush on her, sometimes i still do but i know there is no way in a hell that i can make it happend

 

[mrb]

um well sometimes ... yea

 

[TooShyShy]

Could you get together with a girl you werent THAT attracted to..is that easier if you aren't THAT into her? It seems the issues may come from the attraction itself?

 

[Krista]

Once I get comfortable, I can make friends rather easily. I have more guy friends than I do girls though, once a friend starts to see me as something more I regress right back into stage one...like we're just now meeting for the first time. I can't look him in the eyes, I feel like since he's seeing me as more he'll be more aware of what I do i.e. finding all my faults. When you're friends it's nothing, they don't think about the stuff that you do really so I'm alright. But then I get reserved, I get so nervous and in my head that I psych myself to the point where I will literally not interact with them at all.

Then they wonder why I'm acting totally different, I'm sure they think I'm playing games with them which hurts because that's never my intention and then they disappear. Not that I blame them :: so I'm left alone once again because of myself.

 

[johnny 85]

Once I get comfortable, I can make friends rather easily. I have more guy friends than I do girls though, once a friend starts to see me as something more I regress right back into stage one...like we're just now meeting for the first time. I can't look him in the eyes, I feel like since he's seeing me as more he'll be more aware of what I do i.e. finding all my faults. When you're friends it's nothing, they don't think about the stuff that you do really so I'm alright. But then I get reserved, I get so nervous and in my head that I psych myself to the point where I will literally not interact with them at all.

Then they wonder why I'm acting totally different, I'm sure they think I'm playing games with them which hurts because that's never my intention and then they disappear. Not that I blame them :: so I'm left alone once again because of myself.

lol, this is me, except with fe males of course

 

[goldenholds]

Could you get together with a girl you werent THAT attracted to..is that easier if you aren't THAT into her? It seems the issues may come from the attraction itself?

I am love shy and for me the issue is not with the attraction itself, it is about behaving in a sexual/romantic way. Even if I am not attracted, but the situation lends itself to romance, ie. she is my age and single, then the anxiousness starts gripping at me. If it is implied by circumstance or other people that I should be behaving romantically, the anxiousness gets worse. If I am attracted to her, the anxiousness gets worse still. It's very hard to converse with a woman you are attracted to and not think sexually, and if you think sexually, then you will be anxious. Basically, the attraction makes it harder (if not impossible) to avoid the sexuality and hence the anxiousness.

This is speaking only for myself of course. Though I have read some of your recent posts and your love interest behaves very much like I have. You are a remarkably understanding and patient woman. My greatest wish was for a girl I liked to think well of me and not think of me as the anxious fool I am. And that wish came true for me, because of a very rare person, and I am now a very fortunate fool. Alone but not lonely. You seem to have granted that wish to someone too. Its no small thing.

 

[evil feline space cadet]

Does anyone experience symptoms when they are in the presence of a girl they are really attracted to?

Not being able to look at her (in the eyes) when she speaks to you, getting red in the face, heart beats way too fast, the feeling that you need to flee cuz you are so self conscious

And if you KNOW she wants you too, do you still feel like you are NOT good enough and hide...you try to avoid her (we work together) and eventually TURN HER DOWN bcuz you don't want her to know the real you; shy, inexperienced with women, afraid of intimacy?

Knowing you are are truly infatuated with her and have to see her everyday but she thinks you are not interested now cuz when a friend surprisingly approached you about her...you just said "No...not interested!" because of fear she won't except the real you and low self esteem!!!!

Any and all replies will be appreciated thanks!

THATS ME!!
But with guys..

 

[alex7]

i chase girls that i like and usually i can land a few dates with them...then they find out how boring and quiet i am and lose interest.

it's been like this for the past 3-4 girls ive been with and its really starting to hurt. I feel like giving up sometimes and doing what u do so my ego doesnt get more battered than it already is

 

[redski]

...
Then they wonder why I'm acting totally different, I'm sure they think I'm playing games with them which hurts because that's never my intention and then they disappear. Not that I blame them :: so I'm left alone once again because of myself.

I had this happen to me once. It was a girl I was very much into. I gave up
eventually because I thought I was being played, but many times I wondered
(maybe it is just wishful thinking) if she was like the way you say you are.
I am to blame too of course because of my SA.

 

[TooShyShy]

How do you know someone is sincere or not unless you try? This person may actually really care for you?

You can find out without actually giving your heart away completely..and maybe thats what the girl or guy needs..for you to show them you are in fact interested..but shy and scared, so then they can take the lead and make it better for you.


Nothing can be gained unless you try

 

[iamthenra]

Does anyone experience symptoms when they are in the presence of a girl they are really attracted to?

Not being able to look at her (in the eyes) when she speaks to you, getting red in the face, heart beats way too fast, the feeling that you need to flee cuz you are so self conscious

bcuz you don't want her to know the real you; shy, inexperienced with women, afraid of intimacy?

Knowing you are are truly infatuated with her and have to see her everyday but she thinks you are not interested now cuz when a friend surprisingly approached you about her...you just said "No...not interested!" because of fear she won't except the real you and low self esteem!!!!

Any and all replies will be appreciated thanks!

I have never met a woman that has wanted me.... The key word here is "met"... which is my biggest problem I don't meet anyone new. I see gorgeous ladies everyday, and of course I feel inferior to them and not worthy... So I avoid them, I usually feel like dirt when I am heading home... It's the same story....

 

[Helmaninquiel]

No, I've never had this problem. No woman's ever been interested in me!

Awww that sucks.