Has shyness ever made you turn down a woman who wanted you?
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PhantomPod
Well-known member
When I was maybe 15, a boy I knew from my neighborhood came knocking on my front door asking if I'd like to go to the movies with him, and I completed freaked out and said that I couldn't and said that my family was going camping for the weekend (we really were, but we weren't leaving for another day). I just completely turned him down like a jackass because I'd never been asked out before and I was caught off guard and didn't know what to do. He did ask for my number though and I did just give it to him, but then I would never answer when he would call and I finally just had my older brother tell his older brother that I wasn't interested in him and to please stop calling me. I really wasn't very interested in him, but I guess I really didn't give him much of a chance, but whatever. I just got all freaked out. And yes, 5 years later and I've never been asked out since. Sad.
Vancouver
Well-known member
I found the perfect video for the original poster of this thread:
http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=tmde0eivro
http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=tmde0eivro
Argamemnon
Well-known member
I'm a 31-year-old male and not "ugly", but I've never had a girlfriend because of social phobia. But I really don't care at all. I just hate it when other people ask me if I'm married, or have a relationship... especially relatives; they stare at me as if I'm an alien.
I don't understand, it's none of their business? I'm definitely heterosexual, but I don't care about women, love or sex, because of my never-ending depressions and tremendous social anxiety. I'm not interested at all, I lack the energy. I feel nothing when I see a "beautiful"or "sexy" girl. I guess it's because life has little meaning to me, I don't know.
I don't understand, it's none of their business? I'm definitely heterosexual, but I don't care about women, love or sex, because of my never-ending depressions and tremendous social anxiety. I'm not interested at all, I lack the energy. I feel nothing when I see a "beautiful"or "sexy" girl. I guess it's because life has little meaning to me, I don't know.
wrs2
New member
I thought I'd share a bit similar "love story". It was about 8 years ago when I was in high school (12th grade). A new girl came to our class at the beginning of the year and soon she started to send signs of interest towards me. At first I actually didn't like her that much but somewhere by the middle of the year I had a huge crush on her. The only problem was that I was too shy to let her know. I was now unable to look her into eyes and was even hardly able to look towards her face. I guess she pretty much thought that I am not interested in her. It seemed to me also that she was slowly loosing interest in me because I didn't respond to her in any way. I was very depressed because I felt that I can't change anything. My only comfort was to look (admire) her when she wasn't aware of me doing so. However even this was going to be soon to end since the highschool was ending.
There was only a couple of weeks left of the high school. One day when going home from the school I met her by chance at the bus stop. I thought that if I don't act now I have lost "the love of my life" forever. There could have been hardly a better moment for talking with her. It demanded a huge act of courage from me but I managed to ask her if she could have a walk with me so we could talk. She agreed.
At first, about 5-10 minutes, we exchanged sentences about this and that. All this time I was extremely anxious inside and my voice was a bit nervous (I just couldn't control it). Then I started to talk something like that I haven't had girlfriend before and that I am not sure if I want one since I am not sure if I'm able to be in a relationship. So I pretty much exposed my low confidence. In my head hammered the thought that with this kind of talk I surely can't be successful. But something just forced me to shoot myself in foot. She obviously didn't like what she heard and asked If I am waiting her to boost up my confidence. If I recall correctly I didn't respond to this question. The conversation lasted some more sentences and then she announced that she must hurry now and left.
I was extremely depressed and angry to myself since I was sure that I had destroyed every chance I had. Next day in school I wasn't able to look towards her face at all (although I really wanted to). I don't know If she wanted to contact me but even if she did then she obviously was completely discouraged when seeing that I was avoiding her.
I became more depressed and was really desperate. After few days I decided to contact her and to try to explain. I didn't know what to say but felt that I must try. However she clearly let me know, that she does not want to interact with me. Obviously I seemed to her somekind of psycho or something. Life is hard for the love shy.
There was only a couple of weeks left of the high school. One day when going home from the school I met her by chance at the bus stop. I thought that if I don't act now I have lost "the love of my life" forever. There could have been hardly a better moment for talking with her. It demanded a huge act of courage from me but I managed to ask her if she could have a walk with me so we could talk. She agreed.
At first, about 5-10 minutes, we exchanged sentences about this and that. All this time I was extremely anxious inside and my voice was a bit nervous (I just couldn't control it). Then I started to talk something like that I haven't had girlfriend before and that I am not sure if I want one since I am not sure if I'm able to be in a relationship. So I pretty much exposed my low confidence. In my head hammered the thought that with this kind of talk I surely can't be successful. But something just forced me to shoot myself in foot. She obviously didn't like what she heard and asked If I am waiting her to boost up my confidence. If I recall correctly I didn't respond to this question. The conversation lasted some more sentences and then she announced that she must hurry now and left.
I was extremely depressed and angry to myself since I was sure that I had destroyed every chance I had. Next day in school I wasn't able to look towards her face at all (although I really wanted to). I don't know If she wanted to contact me but even if she did then she obviously was completely discouraged when seeing that I was avoiding her.
I became more depressed and was really desperate. After few days I decided to contact her and to try to explain. I didn't know what to say but felt that I must try. However she clearly let me know, that she does not want to interact with me. Obviously I seemed to her somekind of psycho or something. Life is hard for the love shy.
Argamemnon
Well-known member
Yes, I've always had the tendency to reject people before they even got the chance to reject me. When you're painfully shy or anxious life really has little meaning. In terms of meeting a partner, but also careerwise. What's the point of life if you constantly fear social interaction. Sometimes I wonder what I have ever done to deserve this terrible illness, fear of human beings that is.
Ajuna24
Well-known member
Actually, yes. It has been some time though. When I was younger I remember two times I've done this.
I don't want to be like that any more though because I've realized that I'll never know what I missed out on.
When I was pretty young, probably around when I was 11 years old (I guess I just weren't mature enough yet) there was this cute girl that was always following me around. She often made sure I knew how she felt about me. Things have really changed alot.
Also, when I was 14 year old there was a girl that I had known for a while through another friend.. We didn't know each other that well though. I tried making eye contact, but she always started blushing and turned away. She always became really nervous whenever we were close to eachother..
She and a couple of friends came into my classroom one time after class. I was playing cards with two of my classmates. She sat on the table next to me.. I remember she took my right hand which previously rested on the table, up from the table and caressed it. She told me that I had long fingernails (yeah I know I'm lazy, but I don't like having very short fingernails either). I clearly recall her looking really nervous. I freaked out and completely froze.
It sounds so surreal, doesn't it....
Does this even fit the topic?
If not just ignore me.
I don't want to be like that any more though because I've realized that I'll never know what I missed out on.
When I was pretty young, probably around when I was 11 years old (I guess I just weren't mature enough yet) there was this cute girl that was always following me around. She often made sure I knew how she felt about me. Things have really changed alot.
Also, when I was 14 year old there was a girl that I had known for a while through another friend.. We didn't know each other that well though. I tried making eye contact, but she always started blushing and turned away. She always became really nervous whenever we were close to eachother..
She and a couple of friends came into my classroom one time after class. I was playing cards with two of my classmates. She sat on the table next to me.. I remember she took my right hand which previously rested on the table, up from the table and caressed it. She told me that I had long fingernails (yeah I know I'm lazy, but I don't like having very short fingernails either). I clearly recall her looking really nervous. I freaked out and completely froze.
It sounds so surreal, doesn't it....
Does this even fit the topic?
If not just ignore me.
no1
Banned
well supposedly. She did "supposedly" like me, but she called me "slow steppin" and said she hated guys like that. I wasn't even sure she liked me I thought I was the ugliest being in the universe like I do now. Needless to say ever since then she probably thought I was not worth anything.
Rheves
Well-known member
I dont know what to say, except that I have always had the same problems. So many women that something could have happend with them. In the end I get to nervous and awkward to even look them in the eye or talk to them. Being a bit drunk tends to help. But it seems like the alcohol doesnt effect me like others. No matter how drunk I get, I'm still fully aware of everything around me, including my own nervousness, just dulled a bit. Sorry I couldnt be of help, if I ever figure it out, I'll let ya know. Heh.
I met this girl on myspace and we talked a little bit on there. She gave me her number to text her but I told her that I didn't have a cell phone. She told me to call her but I told her that I was really shy and had trouble calling people. So out of the kindness in her heart she called me so that I would get use to talking to her and not be to shy to call. It worked but after a while I began to worry that I was going to get hurt and quit talking to her.