easier being female
- Thread starter Lorraine Manca
- Start date
What'sHisFace...
Member
Why helloooooo. =P
Such a feller is a possibility, but I don't think it's very common for people to notice, at least; even if he is strong, who notices the guy who doesn't say anything? I'm finally starting to get more strong and... "spineful" or whatever, and I still feel vulnerable at times and I don't hide it when I do. But honestly it's a combination (for me) of thinking of myself as being in spiritual boot camp, and of acknowledging that I've been through so much s**t by this point, a ton more s**t can't possibly hurt, and I might as well make my moral and ethical beliefs my primary concern because I know I can take the blow.
I also used to work out a lot, that always helps. =) 'Far as what's easier, I'd say that being a shy man vs. a shy woman is approaching even as women attain more and more rights in modern societies, and thus bigger social influence/expectations as well. The bigger question is where it's most difficult to be shy; I read somewhere that 75% of all Americans self-identify as being extroverted? That's crazy.
To me, being on the quiet side means you're reserved, thoughtful, open-minded, often times you have no pre-formed expectations or demands, you're more capable of simply observing and learning rather than operating under the assumption that you're right, etc. Which, of course, is the exact opposite of the prevailing American attitude. =P So the world needs a fair balance between extroverted and introverted persons; otherwise people will never take a dern minute to consider what the heck they're doing, continue on in an ignorant fashion, and wake up to find the planet DEAD, MAN!!!
I actually think its worse being female! Females are expected to be friendly and chatty and smile a lot, social,etc. The guys that are quiet people always think they are so sweet or nice, it doesnt matter that their shy. I have a totally different perspective on this subject...this is from what I see day to day.
no1
Banned
well..
I think it's at least easier for the female because.. it doesn't matter if women are expect to be talkative, somewhere down the line, they will get spoken to, especially from the opposite sex. And if not, they will get support from others of the same sex.. and if not.. well it's ok for them to have a problem. That way it doesn't get denied and something actually gets done about it.
For men it's all about denial, denial of self.
I think it's at least easier for the female because.. it doesn't matter if women are expect to be talkative, somewhere down the line, they will get spoken to, especially from the opposite sex. And if not, they will get support from others of the same sex.. and if not.. well it's ok for them to have a problem. That way it doesn't get denied and something actually gets done about it.
For men it's all about denial, denial of self.
combat
Well-known member
I don't know... sure, they might get approached more, but does that really make all that much of a difference? Some guy will approach the shy girl, not get much of a reaction (or at least not the reaction he probably expects), and he'll move on to someone else. Still leaves the shy female in the same position as the shy male in the end, doesn't it?
Okay..if were talking about dating..then having S.P is easier for women to still get a date.
If were talking about friendships and aquiantances..in my opinon, its harder for women having S.P to make friends..and the people I get the most understanding from are men, not other women. Guys are very easygoing, they dont care if your talkative. Although men initially may think Im a snob, but end up warming up to me and let go of whatever perception they had of me in the beginning, women they dont in my experience.
Just in general when I look around at my work and out and about, guys are looked at as the strong silent types..so its okay if their shy, men and women still give them respect.
In the world of teenagers and younger people, if your shy, you get picked on regardless if your male or female and it can be equally as tough.
If were talking about friendships and aquiantances..in my opinon, its harder for women having S.P to make friends..and the people I get the most understanding from are men, not other women. Guys are very easygoing, they dont care if your talkative. Although men initially may think Im a snob, but end up warming up to me and let go of whatever perception they had of me in the beginning, women they dont in my experience.
Just in general when I look around at my work and out and about, guys are looked at as the strong silent types..so its okay if their shy, men and women still give them respect.
In the world of teenagers and younger people, if your shy, you get picked on regardless if your male or female and it can be equally as tough.
no1
Banned
as for men being allowed to be cruel, etc.
women breed these traits. as i said before, evolutionary wise traits such as emotionless, careless, brutality, cruelty, etc. served an evolutionary purpose. Therefore.. women, WANT men to beat each other up, be cruel to each other, etc. It shows them that the winner can "supposedly" survive better than the others. Of course, this is a one time show anyways. IT doesn't mean that in every fight they'll win. But they're unconsciously attracted, so what can they do? Even if they themselves are being treated cruelly they don't care. They just know they got a strong emotionless prick who at any cost can win. They also want to feel that strong hard you kno what in bed.
That's only one side of the coin though.
It IS true, that women want badboys, jerks, *******s, pricks, etc. Any woman who says otherwise, OR MEN is just ignorant, and/or lying.
the women start wars, or sit back and watch wars, because in the end this shows them which is the better mate for survival, AT ANY COST. So they dont care. they breed it.
women breed these traits. as i said before, evolutionary wise traits such as emotionless, careless, brutality, cruelty, etc. served an evolutionary purpose. Therefore.. women, WANT men to beat each other up, be cruel to each other, etc. It shows them that the winner can "supposedly" survive better than the others. Of course, this is a one time show anyways. IT doesn't mean that in every fight they'll win. But they're unconsciously attracted, so what can they do? Even if they themselves are being treated cruelly they don't care. They just know they got a strong emotionless prick who at any cost can win. They also want to feel that strong hard you kno what in bed.
That's only one side of the coin though.
It IS true, that women want badboys, jerks, *******s, pricks, etc. Any woman who says otherwise, OR MEN is just ignorant, and/or lying.
the women start wars, or sit back and watch wars, because in the end this shows them which is the better mate for survival, AT ANY COST. So they dont care. they breed it.
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Ouch no1..
back in the day men never asked what a woman wanted from them, they assumed, they assumed they wanted them to go to war or fight, they assumed they knew what they were thinking, they never sat back and actually asked. assumption assumption, assumption!
back in the day men never asked what a woman wanted from them, they assumed, they assumed they wanted them to go to war or fight, they assumed they knew what they were thinking, they never sat back and actually asked. assumption assumption, assumption!
no1
Banned
That might be true.. but hey it was hard to see any other way than brutality and violence in this messed up world of ours right? So women came to expect it from a man from generation to generation, therefore looked for specifically for those traits, because they came to expect that from men.
Perhaps over time women and men to think differently but I guess it's still prevalent that it can be hard not to revert to this autonomous thought pattern.
btw autonomous does not mean the same thing as natural, or instinctual.
no1
Banned
the situation is actually very complicated to the humans that are shortsighted and ignorant. No offense but that's just how it is.
It has to do with the whole VAGUS NERVE evolution and sexual evolution. The next step is non ejaculatory orgasm which presently is most exclusively done by women. Ejaculatory orgasm (which isn't even a true orgasm, just a spasm) causes stimulation of the stress response system, which treats stress by activating the fight or flight response, or the freeze response. Non ejaculatory is a vagus nerve orgasm that treats stress by actually subsiding tension. It's a new development.
The lifestyles of the chimpanzees and bonobos can be compared to show that humanity is a mix of these two,sexually since the bonobos know non ejaculatory orgasms and are PEACEFUL, as compared to chimpanzees that rape their women whenever they dont give up sex for bringin home meat, and have territorial wars for control of women and familial structures.
So the bonobos ease all tension with sex, whilst the chimpanzees do so with war, which breeds more war.
The chimp women also use spears (technology) so that they dont have to rely on men and to avoid the rapes.
It has to do with the whole VAGUS NERVE evolution and sexual evolution. The next step is non ejaculatory orgasm which presently is most exclusively done by women. Ejaculatory orgasm (which isn't even a true orgasm, just a spasm) causes stimulation of the stress response system, which treats stress by activating the fight or flight response, or the freeze response. Non ejaculatory is a vagus nerve orgasm that treats stress by actually subsiding tension. It's a new development.
The lifestyles of the chimpanzees and bonobos can be compared to show that humanity is a mix of these two,sexually since the bonobos know non ejaculatory orgasms and are PEACEFUL, as compared to chimpanzees that rape their women whenever they dont give up sex for bringin home meat, and have territorial wars for control of women and familial structures.
So the bonobos ease all tension with sex, whilst the chimpanzees do so with war, which breeds more war.
The chimp women also use spears (technology) so that they dont have to rely on men and to avoid the rapes.
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I took a fair number of courses on evolutionary biology and genetics in college, and not one of those things was demonstrated to serve an evolutionary purpose. May I ask where you're getting your information?
Risk-taking behavior--bravery, if you will--this is selected for and serves an evolutionary purpose. This has relevance to social anxiety and phobia issues. Also alpha-male, dominance characteristics. Alpha male does not equate to cruel or emotionless. Strong is not the same as brutal.
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no1
Banned
Perhaps but people have had the tendency to confuse.
no1
Banned
so since because you are the voice of every woman on the planet I guess every woman will just follow your lead.. since they always have to make decisions on a man based on how much other women like them or are after them right?
edit: I read your post wrong.
Eh.. I think it's because I'm very differnt than the average man. Besides maybe I'm not THAT much of a jerk or at least, not as cold and emotionless as some others.
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Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
i thought it was funny
no1
Banned
well taking on the other stance, that us nice guys are also at fault.
it's kinda hard to counter the jerk badboy when for 1, he can be so deceptive at least to the women that they're all the support he needs. And that 2 they just won't shut their mouths until we beat them up or something.. leaving not much to be solved anyways.
POint is, nobody can really reason with the badboy jerks, so.. women can help us too u know, by not giving them the support he so desires.
it's kinda hard to counter the jerk badboy when for 1, he can be so deceptive at least to the women that they're all the support he needs. And that 2 they just won't shut their mouths until we beat them up or something.. leaving not much to be solved anyways.
POint is, nobody can really reason with the badboy jerks, so.. women can help us too u know, by not giving them the support he so desires.
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FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Being a guy with SA is a living hell.
combat
Well-known member
Of course we are also at fault. It's not so much the "jerk" aspects that women like, they just want to see some confidence... even if it's quiet confidence. Usually guys like us are so worried about being "nice" enough that we don't flirt or make any other, even somewhat, aggressive moves. I am by far no expert, but I've been getting a little more forward and aggressive with a girl I'm pursuing and it seems to be working... I'll text things like "you'll just have to force yourself to keep your hands off me" (response "I'm gonna slap you"). Still doesn't mean she'll necessarily want to date me but we have fun with it and it keeps her thinking of me as a guy and not just another friend.
Basically you want to be able to show that you have a playful and sexual side to yourself. The "jerks" just happen to be better at it but they need not have a monopoly on it.