Can't find anything in common

[recluse]

No matter who the person is i feel an outcast;

To party animals i feel boring
To intellectual people i feel stupid
To sports jocks i feel lazy
To funny people i feel too serious

Basically i find any point which makes me feel inadequete/inferior to other people. This way i have no hope of ever having a girlfriend/friends.

 

[Chrysalis]

To me, it sounds like you feel like an outcast because you don't yet know who you are / don't yet trust yourself.

It's very hard I know, but once you figure out who YOU are, and stop trying to fit into other people's categories or pigeon holes, you'll feel more confident around others, as you'll be confident within yourself

Oh, and you don't need to fit 100% into any category - you can be a little bit funny, a tad of a homebody, semi-intellectual and simply, someone who's not into sports!

Wishing you all the best

 

[licorice]

Recluse,how about the sweet/kind group?what about them? this world could surely use more of those types...

 

[kayelle]

I know how you feel. When I'm hanging out in a group of people, I inevitably feel boring, inferior, like everyone else is funny and interesting and I'm certainly bringing absolutely nothing to the group, and they wouldn't notice if I just disappeared.
I always felt like that without really realising or noticing that I felt so pathetic, and then in one of my very first therapy sessions, my psychologist asked me if I ever felt less interesting in groups of people or felt inferior, and it was the biggest relief to know that I wasn't supposed to feel that way, that it was related to my anxiety! Feeling like that is a completely normal 'symptom' of low self-esteem. You are NOT like that. From what I've read of your posts on this forum you seem like an interesting and engaging person, and I'm saying that honestly!
It's all the low self-esteem making you believe that you're not worthy, and that somehow you're a less worthy person than everyone else, but that's NOT true. But the feeling is hard to get rid off. I know how you feel ::

 

[recluse]

Recluse,how about the sweet/kind group?what about them? this world could surely use more of those types...

Sweet/kind has got me nowhere, i've been trampled over because i'm too soft.

 

[recluse]

I know how you feel. When I'm hanging out in a group of people, I inevitably feel boring, inferior, like everyone else is funny and interesting and I'm certainly bringing absolutely nothing to the group, and they wouldn't notice if I just disappeared.
I always felt like that without really realising or noticing that I felt so pathetic, and then in one of my very first therapy sessions, my psychologist asked me if I ever felt less interesting in groups of people or felt inferior, and it was the biggest relief to know that I wasn't supposed to feel that way, that it was related to my anxiety! Feeling like that is a completely normal 'symptom' of low self-esteem. You are NOT like that. From what I've read of your posts on this forum you seem like an interesting and engaging person, and I'm saying that honestly!
It's all the low self-esteem making you believe that you're not worthy, and that somehow you're a less worthy person than everyone else, but that's NOT true. But the feeling is hard to get rid off. I know how you feel ::

It easier to hide behind a facade when posting on forums, i'm not that interesting and engaging in real life.

 

[christa]

same here
i don't have alot in common with anyone.

 

[Walk]

Find a hobby that you can do often.

Is there a brazilian jiu jitsu gym near where you live? They're popping up like crazy these past few years, due to the growing popularity of MMA. There's gotta be at least a boxing gym.

Most people toughen up both physically and mentally from doing combat sports. Try it out. I'm finally working near full time, and I can now afford joining a BJJ gym, swwweeeeettt.

 

[Sloth]

Mate, I feel exactly the same way. Sometimes I just wish I had some friends or a close relationship to make me feel, worthwhile.

 

[StonedBob]

It easier to hide behind a façade when posting on forums, i'm not that interesting and engaging in real life.

I think you're not seeing things in a positive way. The fact you are interesting on forums means you can be interesting in real life, there are no reasons that what you think is less interesting in real life than on forums. The only thing that make you feel you're not interesting (or funny, etc...) is your anxiety and your lack of inner confidence.

 

[toothpastekisses]

..................

 

[recluse]

Find a hobby that you can do often.

Is there a brazilian jiu jitsu gym near where you live? They're popping up like crazy these past few years, due to the growing popularity of MMA. There's gotta be at least a boxing gym.

Most people toughen up both physically and mentally from doing combat sports. Try it out. I'm finally working near full time, and I can now afford joining a BJJ gym, swwweeeeettt.

I've recently joined a clay pigeon shooting club. I enjoy it but i still feel shy being with other people there.

 

[recluse]

I think you're not seeing things in a positive way. The fact you are interesting on forums means you can be interesting in real life, there are no reasons that what you think is less interesting in real life than on forums. The only thing that make you feel you're not interesting (or funny, etc...) is your anxiety and your lack of inner confidence.

How can i gain confidence? No matter what i do i can't feel good about myself.

 

[madmike]

I'm even worse, half the time i literally don't understand what people are saying to me. They'll be next to me explaining something they did/are planning to do in great detail, continuously searching for new ways to make me understand, and all i can do is nod and look away, hoping they'll say something i will understand and can talk about. It is so frustrating! At first i convinced myself that it's just because i haven't lived in england long enough to have picked up the accent/idioms (i've travelled a lot and lived in Spain most of my life) but i've noticed that most exchange students can communicate MUCH better than me with the indigenous peoples lol. I dunno if it's the anxiety or that i have some kind of auditory processing problem or that i'm just an idiot lol, but it's really getting to me :/ Are you at all like this, or is it just a problem generally enaging with people?

 

[Walk]

I've recently joined a clay pigeon shooting club. I enjoy it but i still feel shy being with other people there.

Join a boxing gym or a bjj gym. I did some Judo a few years ago, and when you're sparring (i.e., not drilling techniques, but actual wrestling and/or punching each other) with someone, NOTHING is in your mind but the situation.

Actually, if you and I can both update each other on this, it'd be really cool.

Once I join my BJJ joint, I'll let you know through PM or through a thread, and you can do the same (boxing is ok, as long as it's real life sparring, no punching in the air or board breaking bullshit).

Up for it, bud?

 

[Walk]

How can i gain confidence? No matter what i do i can't feel good about myself.

Getting beat up and also beating up other people. No joke.

Life's all about getting up after getting knocked down.

See my post above, let's do this.

 

[sabbath9]

Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything in common with other people either. Then I'll go to a heavy metal concert and realize that all the people there love that music too. I'll listen to talk radio (The Neil Rogers Show, The Mike Malloy Show - Speaking Truth to Power) and hear how lots of other people share my views on politics, religion, sports, etc. But since I don't really talk to people at work (or anywhere else for that matter) I have no idea who shares common values with me.