Getting to the point i'd rather not being around people

Just feeling like being around people is pointless anymore, and the agitation and anxiety are always there, socializing never brings rewards, so why bother? I'm too limited in what I'm willing to do, noticeably insecure. It all seems like a dead end. Sorry, meant "would rather not be around people".

Yes I understand why you feel like that. I think I'm just as incapable
as ever when it come to befriending people(especially those my age.) Socializing doesn't come natural to me, no matter how I try and do it. I'm very used to staying quiet, I guess since I isolate myself at home a lot to begin with but I don't care. I just really dislike people who have the most bossiest personalities and I've met too many of them. And when I do it back to them, they all of a sudden get offended!? Jesus Christ! If only I stayed at home school from the start when I was born and met some weird, creative people like me, I don't think I would be in a much of a depressive state as I am now. I'm more scared of making friends with girls since most of them care about makeup, fashion, boyfriends, ect. And when they start getting upset why this guy doesn't like me or crying because they can't get a boyfriend. I'm sorry, but truthfully, I don't know if I can deal with putting up with girls(teenage girls) being obsessed trying to impress guys, only to have me constantly hear why they can't get them or make me decide for them to go on a date with the guy. I don't want to sound insensitive here, I just think most girls my age, even during highschool, worry about these kind of things even though they shouldn't even be that important at all. I'm afraid to make friends with anyone since their behaviors are all indifferent from each others.

I experienced that. I don't even leave the house anymore because I'm having such a hard time wanting to be around people. At home, there's little to no anxiety. I'm happier.

NightTimeForever said:

Just feeling like being around people is pointless anymore, and the agitation and anxiety are always there, socializing never brings rewards, so why bother? I'm too limited in what I'm willing to do, noticeably insecure. It all seems like a dead end. Sorry, meant "would rather not be around people".

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Why is it pointless? What are you wanting to achieve by being social with people?

I love lions said:

I'm more scared of making friends with girls since most of them care about makeup, fashion, boyfriends, ect. And when they start getting upset why this guy doesn't like me or crying because they can't get a boyfriend. I'm sorry, but truthfully, I don't know if I can deal with putting up with girls(teenage girls) being obsessed trying to impress guys, only to have me constantly hear why they can't get them or make me decide for them to go on a date with the guy. I don't want to sound insensitive here, I just think most girls my age, even during highschool, worry about these kind of things even though they shouldn't even be that important at all.

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Teenage priorities are vastly different to when you get a little older. Getting into relationships, discovering the opposite sex, trying to look good, and so on, is a big part of growing up. It's not for all teenagers, obviously, but everyone wants to be noticed and liked.

Yeah, when I am around people, I can't wait until the first chance to escape and be on my own.

Yes, maybe for others it is a part of growing up. I'm just trying to explain why I don't really feel as comfortable dealing to put up with so much of it from girls, and girls asking me what they think they should do instead of thinking for themselves. I think society has made it so that girls should be peer pressured with doing it because that's how shows/movies portray it. I know I'm not like a lot of girls, but I think I came to realize these materialistic things shouldn't overshadow the fact that these girls are in school and trying to accomplish getting good grades. They're too obsessed over trying to impress guys with make up and fashion when almost all the time it's just going to be a big waste of time. And really I don't know if I could be able to keep putting up with them, if they need my advice on what they should try and fix about themselves or if I should decide for them to go out with this guy because he's cute. Well if I did hand out my advice to these girls, I'd say don't fix yourself and what ever happens is going to happen. I'm sorry but I just don't want to be paired with girly girls, especially if they're going to be as sly to try and change me. I know you and I do I have our differences , but I'm just speaking from my opinions. I can respect yours too though.

Okay, I didn't read your post quite carefully. I see you said it's not for all teenagers. I just really don't want to be with girls like these though, ever.

What kind of rewards are you expecting out of socializing that you're not getting?

Use youtube as a way of finding like minded people through common interests.

I also would rather not be around people, and sometimes go to great lengths to do just that. When I lived away from home, I used to wake up very early in the weekends, say 7 AM, just to go shopping or do laundry because I knew during those times, foot traffic is light. I also didn't want to see my neighbors many of whom were hostile and didn't like me.

This time, I might do something stupid again. So, there are 2 classes that I have to choose between at this moment for my fall schedule:

- hybrid class: professor with good reviews online, but lots of students in the class
- traditional class: very few students, but professor with bad reviews online

I initially enrolled in the hybrid class because all the online classes were closed, but then I found out there would be lots of students in that class, as it is near maximum capacity. So I checked out a traditional class which had fewer students enrolled. I considered dropping that hybrid class for that traditional class because I don't want to be around so many people.

I mentioned before that I would rather take a hard, 100 MC test rather than have to deal with people. Yep, it's social anxiety talking again. No normal person in their right mind would do what i do. Well, I might do this again. I might take a hard class with a hard professor just because this class had less students enrolled. Anything to avoid people and avoid being bullied again. That's how desperate I am.

MikeyC said:

Why is it pointless? What are you wanting to achieve by being social with people?

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Friendships, I guess.

Anyway, for the past while I can't say I've made a real effort with others. They might try with me (for instance, online), and then for some reason I become socially fatigued, which could be because I don't see it evolving into a friendship (or anything resembling it, which also touches on the "pointless" theme). Sorry for the delayed response.

I would honestly find it very hard to develop new friendships with people. I hung on to friends that I met back when I was an adolescent. Social anxiety has made the friendship suffer a great deal, but through it all, the friendship survived up until this point. People say that it's hard to make friends because all people want to do is party and get drunk. That's not entirely true. My friends, including myself, center our friendship on our love for anime and everything related to anime. When we get together, we drink Chinese teas and watch hours worth of anime, because that's what brings us together as friends. I am sorry that you are struggling to find meaningful friendship. The best advice I can give is to search for people who have common interest as you do, that way you will always have something in common with each other, and your conversations will always be interesting to both of you.

I can understand how most of you people feel.... As i have been having the same problems for about three years i thought that my situation could not change and i simply lacked the social skills to make new friends that would last for more than just a few weeks... Today much has changed in my life i have friends and i would say that i function quiet well socially.... Of course there are still problems for me too but i feel they are getting more manageable.... I really know how impossible it can feel to ever get rid of social phobia but i also want to say that it CAN change no matter how impossible it may feel, or how far out you have gotten... I hope for you all that you will experience this in your life, and i truly believe it is possible to change.... Best of luck

Mmhm I think a lot of us can relate. I just simply don't like a lot of people ;/ the ones who are less accepting and more self aware, I love. But the other 75% or whatevs, bleh.. Are you happier being isolated? Also... how can you not be around people, if you need a job, or if you need school? Maybe we can adapt if we learn to put up with people enough that it feels natural to feel fed up with socialization. When we get fed up, maybe we will care less and be ourselves more because we don't care, and then it will take less energy to be social. I don't know what I'm saying.. Hope,somebody?