Feel Like I'm Always Bothering People

dan_e

dan_e

Well-known member
People at work seem to talk about anything at any time and not worry about it. When I talk I always feel like I'm bothering people or intruding in their conversations. This keeps me from talking as much as I would like. I don't know if I should just jump right in with my 2 cents or keep quiet. To join in when they're together, or stay away. Before I'll say anything, I try to find something really interesting or out of the ordinary to discuss (something that would make talking to me worth their while). Instead of just saying what I want to say. Anyone else do this or feel this way? :roll:
 
RND_CHR

RND_CHR

Well-known member
I know how you feel man. I try saying things like, what are you up to and see how they respond to gauge if they're interested in talking to me. Anyways, if you intrude a little accidentally, I don't think anyone will care because it's not your fault.
 
Havocan

Havocan

Well-known member
I do feel this too, especially when a group of people seem to be have interesting/amusing chats and then I just show up for whatever reason and you can tell by their faces and the overall atmosphere how everyone suddenly feels bothered and that I'm somewhat trespassing. Another reason why I'm quiet.
 
Havocan

Havocan

Well-known member
Their analysing and suspecting looks indicate a lot of times that they consider one bothersome^^.
 
eso

eso

Well-known member
dan_e said:
People at work seem to talk about anything at any time and not worry about it. When I talk I always feel like I'm bothering people or intruding in their conversations. This keeps me from talking as much as I would like. I don't know if I should just jump right in with my 2 cents or keep quiet. To join in when they're together, or stay away. Before I'll say anything, I try to find something really interesting or out of the ordinary to discuss (something that would make talking to me worth their while). Instead of just saying what I want to say. Anyone else do this or feel this way? :roll:
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This is my hugest problem ever. I can't stand the idea of me bothering someone.
I think it stems from the idea that, honestly, I don't like being bothered much at all, and I know if I do something I know for a fact I would be bothered if it was me.
So I end up never talking to people. I can't even do it with live chat on the internet. I have an awful time on 3D graphics chat rooms or anything like that, I just don't want to go up to a person and say something because it is just like real life. I have to wait for people to approach me because i won't speak up first. I'm too afraid. One reason I never use AIM instant msg. I can do it with people that I absolutely know will not mind it, but even then I get scared still.
And I definitely HATE using the phone because I KNOW that is bothering people.
 
Tab

Tab

Well-known member
ya, i quit my first and only job cuz the 2 ppl i connected with quit or moved on, and all the others seemed like a bunch of losers
 
StonedBob

StonedBob

Well-known member
I also feel the same, I always have the feeling that I'm bothering people with what i'm saying. And like powerfulthoughts, i always fear that other people notice that i'mfeeling uncomfortable and that makes me feel more uncomfortable. That's just a stupid vicious circle...
 
Emmmmy

Emmmmy

Well-known member
Yeh - know what you all mean.

I find it a little frsutrating how sometimes I get perceived as rude and aloof for not talking more, when really...... it's mostly the feeling of being rude and imposing that stops me changing the course of the conversation and asking questions and stuff.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
I sometimes feel this way too. I can crash conversations with my in-eloquence. A group of people would be having a fun, cheerful time conversing together or making jokes. Suddenly I join in and the atmosphere changed. I make jokes that no one laughs at, or I speak too slowly so others get impatient. I'm better at 1 on 1 convos than in group convos.
 
LazyHermitCrab

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
Yeah I don't have any friends at work because of this in my department anyway. A couple guys seem mature though, but the others seem judgemental and intimidating. I don't force friendships and avoid groups at work. Sure ppl will think I'm weird but I'd rather just focus on friends that will be there no matter what. ;)
 
Quietguy11

Quietguy11

Well-known member
I always feel like I'm ruining the good mood whenever I open my mouth, so I try not to talk as much, and usually just listen. I have been quiet my entire life, ever since elementary school, so when I think about it, it is a little out of character for me to be the one hosting the conversations.
 
Slytherin88

Slytherin88

Well-known member
I get this. I'm like this too, even to the point where I won't push the walk button at traffic lights as to not inconvenience drivers. I'll wait til traffic clears...
 
S

SmileMore

Well-known member
Yup. I feel like i'm not needed or liked but when i don't say anything or don't butt into their conversation i'm "stuck up" or miserable. Whatever. IDGAF anymore.
 
SotiCoto

SotiCoto

Banned
dan_e said:
People at work seem to talk about anything at any time and not worry about it. When I talk I always feel like I'm bothering people or intruding in their conversations. This keeps me from talking as much as I would like. I don't know if I should just jump right in with my 2 cents or keep quiet. To join in when they're together, or stay away. Before I'll say anything, I try to find something really interesting or out of the ordinary to discuss (something that would make talking to me worth their while). Instead of just saying what I want to say. Anyone else do this or feel this way? :roll:
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... A familiar experience.

I do try these days not to say anything non-work-related at work, yet I keep caving in and doing so anyway. This is most assuredly a self-control problem... and I'm assured that, given sufficient motivation, I will learn not to talk out of place in the office.

If that doesn't work, I'll sew my mouth shut and spend the rest of my life drinking mush through a straw.
 
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