Most of the time, I'm okay eating in front of people. I can go to a restaurant with family or friends and not have a problem. But I don't like eating alone in public. I have no problem going to the mall and shopping alone, in fact I kind of prefer that to shopping with someone, but if I have to stop for lunch I feel awkward. I'll usually try to get something I can eat quick and simple, like a muffin. And I'll sit somewhere so I don't have to face too many people. Usually I'll pretend to be playing around with my cell phone so I look busy instead of just sitting there eating and staring around the room. When I was in university I often spent my lunch periods alone in a particular lobby with some study carrells. It was a pretty busy lobby. But I liked to keep a low profile while I was eating. I could sort of hide behind the sides of the carrell and not be too obvious. I was well aware there were plenty of people around me also sitting alone and eating, but I still wasn't fond of it. Junior high was bad. I didn't like to stay at school for lunch because I'm diabetic and I hated having to test my blood sugar at school. I eventually got used to just going into the bathroom to do it, but at the time I hated even that. I lived just far enough that I wouldn't have time to walk home at lunch so my mom picked me up everyday. I had no idea how much that decision would screw me over. I had two friends from elementary school who ended up making other friends during lunch hour and I was left behind. I still hung out with them if my mom couldn't pick me up and I had to stay. But what ended up happening was that one friend became a social butterfly and ditched me, and the other moved away. We still stayed friends but it isn't the same when you don't go to school together. So then I was pretty much a loner. I dreaded the days when I had to stay at school for lunch. They had cafeteria tables set up in the foyers in the halls at lunch. They were like long rows of picnic tables. Most people just went straight there but since I had to head to the bathroom to test my blood sugar first, most of the spaces were taken up by the time I got there. It's not like I could get someone to save me a seat. So I'd sneak into some small space and sit there quietly and awkwardly eating my lunch while everyone around me was in their little groups talking and socializing. I also dreaded the 25 minutes we were forced outside afterward because all I did was wonder around alone like a loser. I eventually made a few friends and decided to eat lunch at school and hang out with them, but even throughout high school, there were still times when I got stuck eating alone for one reason or another.
I get the feeling people won't be invited round to our place for dinner, hehehe.
