Do you feel like social anxiety messed up your life?
- Thread starter LION
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LadyWench
Well-known member
No. I like who I am as a person, despite my lack of self-worth and all of my mental issues. I of course like my interests and music tastes. I don't think I CAN change them. It's just who I am by nature. If I would have to change all of that just to get someone to like me or have feelings for me (which can't be forced, by the way), I wouldn't bother. No shallow human being is worth sacrificing yourself for. At least, that's how I feel.
Moonie
Well-known member
No, the only thing I would ask for is confidence. Like the above poster, I am happy with what I like, my humor, my interests, etc. But I think my lack of confidence and depression over my SA issues, has caused me to sort of stray from the good things about me.
I would never want to change who I am to please a certain person. I think that's a big problem I have noticed about people. They tend to obsess over this one person, this one stereotypical picture of who they'd like to be with, that they start to close off all other options. I once had a boyfriend who had this ideal picture of the girl he liked (and often I felt he loved his best girl friend at the time. I know he had a crush on her, but she didn't feel the same way back.) I felt second to her. He was so obsessed with her, that he didn't realize that he had someone who loved and adored him right there. And it hurts. If someone you like doesn't like you back the way you are, then move on. Give someone else a try. Someone that loves you for you.
I would never want to change who I am to please a certain person. I think that's a big problem I have noticed about people. They tend to obsess over this one person, this one stereotypical picture of who they'd like to be with, that they start to close off all other options. I once had a boyfriend who had this ideal picture of the girl he liked (and often I felt he loved his best girl friend at the time. I know he had a crush on her, but she didn't feel the same way back.) I felt second to her. He was so obsessed with her, that he didn't realize that he had someone who loved and adored him right there. And it hurts. If someone you like doesn't like you back the way you are, then move on. Give someone else a try. Someone that loves you for you.
planemo
Well-known member
If I know for certain it's not what she likes, then yes I would change.
I really like who I am as a person, anxiety is one of the only things I'd change. I'm learning to deal with it much better now, fortunately. I feel in the past it's probably partially dictated some things I didn't do. But hey, in my eyes everything happens for a reason. I took the right routes and I'm happy at where I'm at today.
If anxiety dictated ALL of my life, goals, interests, etc... Then for my own well being and for the sake of my life, I'd have to push harder than ever to beat it. I couldn't sit by and watch EVERYTHING pass me by, having taken up no opportunities. Talk about giving up and burying your head in the sand.
If anxiety dictated ALL of my life, goals, interests, etc... Then for my own well being and for the sake of my life, I'd have to push harder than ever to beat it. I couldn't sit by and watch EVERYTHING pass me by, having taken up no opportunities. Talk about giving up and burying your head in the sand.
dooby-duck
Well-known member
No way, that would just be pretending and wouldn't make me happy. I'd have to be fake all the time and I'm sure I couldn't keep it up.
latinoprince
Member
No, I wouldn't change WHO I AM because I am happy with who I am and I like being different but I would deff. change the things I fear.
Never. When my SA was severe I considered all options and methods of ways to change how I looked, acted, spoke, everything to garner what I thought would be acceptance because I knew that no one could possibly like me for how I was. Actually quite the opposite, people enjoy my personality and demeanor. Being in that state of mind is like a toxic environment and nothing good can come from thinking about changing yourself for the benefit of someone else. If they can't accept you, they don't deserve you.
lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
Lol I just realized that there are two of this exact same topic. Well, this is what I said in the first. My answer is still the same as it was a few minutes ago:
Oh no, never. You like me for me, or you don't like me at all & I pay you no attention.
Oh no, never. You like me for me, or you don't like me at all & I pay you no attention.
Felgen
Well-known member
Same here.
Social anxiety fucked up a lot of aspects of my life. I do not have confidence enough to get a girlfriend, for instance.
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DespairSoul
Well-known member
Hello,
I think i was answering this somewhere. My answer is yes because i will not remember nothing about me who im now. If i wouldnt have anxiety then i will. But propably i will be not happy anyway in other way because i like who im like sense of humor, kidness and perceiving, i will miss that but i think if i will be changed i will not know nothing about past right? I would be happier with out anxiety for sure will be other worries but next to those worries i rather will like to do that. Anxiety really sucks and isnt no live i rather spend outgoing live 10 years as 60 with anxiety.
I think i was answering this somewhere. My answer is yes because i will not remember nothing about me
who im now. If i wouldnt have anxiety then i will. But propably i will be not happy anyway in other way because i like who im like sense of humor, kidness and perceiving, i will miss that but i think if i will be changed i will not know nothing about past right? I would be happier with out anxiety for sure will be other worries but next to those worries i rather will like to do that. Anxiety really sucks and isnt no live i rather spend outgoing live 10 years as 60 with anxiety.
StrandedTangle
Well-known member
I have to agree with everything LadyWench says here. I couldn't put it better.
Falkor
1
SA sure did mess up my life, because I'm afraid of social situations. I avoid parties and haven't been going to college since a long time. I feel pointless because of this, I'm ready for the big change, I mean. Kick the SA out of my life. But I won't change my own personality, Because I'm a very good person.
But I need to face my fears, control my anxiety, find self acceptance,
stop caring what people think of me. That would be so awesome
But I need to face my fears, control my anxiety, find self acceptance,
stop caring what people think of me. That would be so awesome
Luke1993
Well-known member
I would give myself an interest in music! One thing everyone seems to have is a taste in music, it just doesn't appeal to me at all especially when listening to recent music (I can tolerate older music though but still don't particularly enjoy it) the only music I kinda like is some from video games lol. So if I could I would give myself a taste in music.
Then I think I would give myself an interest in some sort of sport since that would be a nice hobby to have.
That would be all I think.
Then I think I would give myself an interest in some sort of sport since that would be a nice hobby to have.
That would be all I think.
Social_Monstrosity
Well-known member
I wouldn't change any of my current interests, but I do wish my SAD would cease to exist. It's been plaguing my life for far too long.