Do People Stay Away From You?

mikebird

mikebird

Banned
No contact with family, apart from weddings, funerals, and I don't go to visit people with newborns. That's not of interest to me. Maybe I am blamed for not contacting them, but I do not make smalltalk, until events occur. We are all 75 miles away, and more...

My brother gave up phoning me, and I'm glad - that was annoying - containing only criticism.

I only speak to my old pa - most days, and he doesn't seem to like it much, and he has that iQ of... I don't know. Nobody else phones me now.

Good friends from the town I've lived in for 15 years are elsewhere and, strangely, a lot of them are in the west, where my family roots are. One divides work and life between Cardiff & Henley, several times in a week, living really close by.

A few people are in town, and are not moving. I know family basics are to keep in touch regularly. I am OK with the current status quo. I just don't want to be seen as the one at fault. Do you have this situation? I'm carving a new life for myself. I detect a hatred from others which I'm creating? Not violent, rude, evil... nothing to offer to others. Feels like SA epitome

It's rare to hear the doorbell ring, and it makes me jump!
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
I find that people don't make an effort to talk to me only if I avoid them or don't make myself available (which is often). I guess in a way it IS my fault that people stay away from me, because I practically push them away.
 
ScaredToBreathe

ScaredToBreathe

Well-known member
well if no one is making the effort to visit you or phone you, then it's as much their fault as yours, so you're really not to blame for anything. other people probably don't even think about things like that very often becuse they're caught up in their busy lives, and worrying about things already planned like "i hope the meeting will go well for me tomorrow" or "what should be for dinner."

if you feel you want contact with someone then give them a call or email or something and get together. if you dont, then dont. simple as that.

everytime i have good friends and they move away, they stop contacting me and asking me to hang out. either they forget about me or pretend like i dont exist. i feel kind of lonely or rejected at first, but i've realized it's not my fault and it's not really their fault either. after all, i never bothered to contact them or anything like i use to, but that doesnt mean i dont like them anymore. we went separate ways and there's too much goin on in our lives, so we kinda put the past off to the side. i might end up asking one of my old friends to hang out again sometime though, sometimes i miss the old days.
 
IGotSeoul

IGotSeoul

Well-known member
this_portrait said:
I find that people don't make an effort to talk to me only if I avoid them or don't make myself available (which is often). I guess in a way it IS my fault that people stay away from me, because I practically push them away.
Click to expand...

this sums myself up accurately.
 
Warrior Poet

Warrior Poet

Well-known member
People seem to avoid me also, I think I just give off *stay away from me vibe* I'm usually quite reserved. I also think some people may be intimidated by me.
 
X

xXxOilkingxXx

New member
I'm 6'6 male that suffers from social phobia. How the hell did this issue come to exist in me when I tower over others? If anything I should instill my illness in others from sheer intimidation and be booming with confdence haha but that doesn't seem to be the case. I don't think much of myself but I've been told I'm handsome and that being tall is a great characteristic that women seek yet no one ever says hi to me in a class or any other convenient setting. I'm starting to think I put off a stay away vibe to people. Then again even if I was approached I'd choke for words so badly the conversation would be over before it began.
 
B

Blabla..

Well-known member
haha it's not about the looks , whatever you might look like , a mind is a mind, maybe people are intimidated by you , a smile always does the trick , and welcome by the way !
 
R3K

R3K

Well-known member
all my friends and family are successful in life and having babies and getting married and stuff. i work a dead end job, i'm sick all the time, and whenever a girl shows interest in me i struggle with conversation and don't even want to talk about myself cause everything about my life just completely sucks. then they swiftly realize i'm a loser and stop talking to me.

i get this feeling all the time--that ppl are so ready to hang out with one another but don't even think about inviting me cause i'm too weird and would be some kind of buzzkill to their little social events. maybe i'm just paranoid, but this is backed by my constant sickness and bad sleeping habits. i'm constantly on the wrong side of health and daylight, and it gets into my own head so that i end up paralyzing myself.

to fix my situation i need to take like half a year off of work and get healthy somehow, then i can start working on other obstacles that have piled up behind that. it's so daunting, i don't even know how to start.
 
Nanita

Nanita

Well-known member
Sometimes people approach me/invite me to stuff. Sometimes I feel they don´t. But I can be very rejecting. Sometimes people don´t approach me because I seem difficult to talk to. This is because I really need a good connection with people, before I´m able to just begin chatting.
For me this is not a simple issue; I want people in my life, but I have also lost a lot of interest in being with people (even people that would call friends).
Sometimes I wish I had much more contact with people.
Then when I am with people, I feel either good about it or I totally loose interest, I get easily annoyed, I need to have a special connection with people.

So people buy houses, get married, have babies, have jobs. I have none of that and I honestly don´t think it would fulfill me, I just lack that feeling of .. meaningful life / interest in life.
It´s depressing......
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top