Why are people mean to shy/quiet people

Odo

Banned
Basically no-one I've ever held with esteem, even if I don't know them, has picked on me. It's always the dumb erratic person.

Yes, absolutely this.

It probably depends on where you live but I've found that just being shy isn't enough to put most people off. I think they're more likely to be put off by insecurity, anger, frustration, possessiveness, negativity, etc... or sometimes the more superficial things as well.
 

Richey

Well-known member
Because they lack empathy and have high levels of ego and self importance. That is why. Simple.

Ignore them. Consider their opinion, but don't let them win by placing importance on their lack of people skills. If people are mean towards shyer people then it shows they are the ones with the problems. They are trying to make themselves look stronger to a group of people or in a work situation, playing up to the politics etc.

Ignore them. They are not worth a headache.
 

Honda

Well-known member
I will tell you why!

Shyness and quietness is viewed by some as a sign of submissiveness and weakness and they find it an ope window for them to be mean as they find that person to be anything but a threat when pushed over or abused.

You will be surprised by how many people out there suffer from an inferiority complex and issues themselves then come along to demean or somebody who is weaker than them; probably because it reminds them of their own issues, failures or weaknesses. In other words, they are a bunch of selfish pussies or simply know they got nothing to lose by pushing over somebody weaker than themselves.
 

myheartisastone

Well-known member
if i had to guess, i'd say maybe those outspoken or 'loud' (usually annoying) people don't get the attention or reaction they are looking for from shy people.. they get offended by it and, being obnoxious, they snap back to make the other person feel inferior.... i don't know, i don't remember ever trying to make fun of someone i thought was 'shy' before =/

This. Some people think others just owe them attention.
 

SotiCoto

Banned
Because humans have adapted to capitalise on social networking and cooperation in order to flourish as a species.

People being mean to those who are shy or otherwise antisocial is just another method of selection to ensure that the majority of subsequent generations are demented, extroverted prats who breed like bunnies and live otherwise unhindered lives.

From a biological standpoint... because we're rejects, and the more merciless nature is about opposing rejects, the better the species does in the long term.


You might have noticed nature is fundamentally incapable of giving a fvck about individual suffering.

In the end you just gotta make do with what you've got or die trying.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
Because humans have adapted to capitalise on social networking and cooperation in order to flourish as a species.

People being mean to those who are shy or otherwise antisocial is just another method of selection to ensure that the majority of subsequent generations are demented, extroverted prats who breed like bunnies and live otherwise unhindered lives.

From a biological standpoint... because we're rejects, and the more merciless nature is about opposing rejects, the better the species does in the long term.


You might have noticed nature is fundamentally incapable of giving a fvck about individual suffering.

In the end you just gotta make do with what you've got or die trying.

So that's nice, just say there's no hope, and no point for a shy/awkward person to be here.

I think you just inspired a whole lotta people with problems.
 

Griffin

Well-known member
Well in my personal point of view, I think it's because quiet and shy people gives people the impression that should they get attacked, they'd not have the guts to stand up for themselves ...

I used to be a target for them but I think self-confidence plays a major part in it. ...

...

+1

I have to agree. In some respects, it is no different to the playground bullies in school. People pick on those whom they regard as being soft targets, the ones who won't stand up for themselves.
 

SotiCoto

Banned
So that's nice, just say there's no hope, and no point for a shy/awkward person to be here.

I think you just inspired a whole lotta people with problems.
You remember the story about Pandora's container (box / jar / amphora / whatever) of the world's ills? The fact that hope was at the bottom? Wonder why that is?

Simple answer : because hope is the worst of the world's ills.
Hope is what stops people learning from their mistakes. Hope is what makes stupid people continue to do stupid things and expect to get different results.

Nobody needs hope. They need results.
They need to know what they can realistically expect from life, what they can hope to achieve within those realistic expectations, and what they need apply in order to achieve it... Hope is just fantasy. Delusion. It achieves nothing.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
You remember the story about Pandora's container (box / jar / amphora / whatever) of the world's ills? The fact that hope was at the bottom? Wonder why that is?

Simple answer : because hope is the worst of the world's ills.
Hope is what stops people learning from their mistakes. Hope is what makes stupid people continue to do stupid things and expect to get different results.

Nobody needs hope. They need results.
They need to know what they can realistically expect from life, what they can hope to achieve within those realistic expectations, and what they need apply in order to achieve it... Hope is just fantasy. Delusion. It achieves nothing.

If this forum has an ignore list, you need to be on it. Not just on mine, but on everyone's. You're a cancer spreading nihilism, apathy, and it seems you even believe that inaction and inertia reflects actual ability. If one doesn't try, then they shouldn't, because they can't. It's all very implicit in your words.

You're the only one doing this, where everywhere else--even in this place--optimism and inspiration is shared.

What is anyone here for, except for hope and the possibility of improvement? You preach the opposite, and I think it's about time you take your gospel elsewhere, preferably to a forum that believes in defeatism and self-loathing. I don't believe that's SPW's mantra, though.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
If this forum has an ignore list, you need to be on it. Not just on mine, but on everyone's.
User CP > Edit ignore list.

What's more fun is what I've seen on other forums: a function called 'global ignore'. A mod can put a user on global ignore and they aren't banned, get no notification, but no one can see their posts except themselves. They often don't figure it out for weeks, if at all. :ironicsmile:
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
If this forum has an ignore list, you need to be on it. Not just on mine, but on everyone's. You're a cancer spreading nihilism, apathy, and it seems you even believe that inaction and inertia reflects actual ability. If one doesn't try, then they shouldn't, because they can't. It's all very implicit in your words.

You're the only one doing this, where everywhere else--even in this place--optimism and inspiration is shared.

What is anyone here for, except for hope and the possibility of improvement? You preach the opposite, and I think it's about time you take your gospel elsewhere, preferably to a forum that believes in defeatism and self-loathing. I don't believe that's SPW's mantra, though.

tumblr_mcz617rSy01r38j04o1_500.gif
 

Odo

Banned
^Every time someone posts that .gif, I never really understand why. This is a scene where Kane is forcing himself to applaud something that he knows is terrible... is that the point or is it supposed to be authentically supportive?
 

SotiCoto

Banned
If this forum has an ignore list, you need to be on it. Not just on mine, but on everyone's. You're a cancer spreading nihilism, apathy, and it seems you even believe that inaction and inertia reflects actual ability. If one doesn't try, then they shouldn't, because they can't. It's all very implicit in your words.

You're the only one doing this, where everywhere else--even in this place--optimism and inspiration is shared.

What is anyone here for, except for hope and the possibility of improvement? You preach the opposite, and I think it's about time you take your gospel elsewhere, preferably to a forum that believes in defeatism and self-loathing. I don't believe that's SPW's mantra, though.
I'm just being the example I wish to set.

You people want to screw yourselves over endlessly... fine. I can't force anyone not to.
I'm just here to provide an alternative view. A path of rational acceptance rather than retreat into fantasy. And for that matter, to calm the nature of the chassis while I'm at it.

And your abuse isn't going to phase me. I've lived through enough failure to know a little more won't break me.
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
^Every time someone posts that .gif, I never really understand why. This is a scene where Kane is forcing himself to applaud something that he knows is terrible... is that the point or is it supposed to be authentically supportive?

It's basic applause. I wasn't going in that deep deep deeep! :reading:
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
I'm just being the example I wish to set.

You people want to screw yourselves over endlessly... fine. I can't force anyone not to.
I'm just here to provide an alternative view. A path of rational acceptance rather than retreat into fantasy. And for that matter, to calm the nature of the chassis while I'm at it.

And your abuse isn't going to phase me. I've lived through enough failure to know a little more won't break me.

I don't know about that, I tried the positive route and it worked for me over time. I'm in so much of a better place than back in my 20's. IMO There's no harm in hope, be constructive and dedicate yourself to improvement and eventually you will get there. Requires much patience of course.

Also, this is a support forum. If you don't feel like helping and supporting other members (and in one instance you advised someone on what methods are best to kill themselves), you have to ask what on earth you are doing here? Do you want someone to help you? Do you need convincing there is hope?
 
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SotiCoto

Banned
I don't know about that, I tried the positive route and it worked for me over time. I'm in so much of a better place than back in my 20's. IMO There's no harm in hope, be constructive and dedicate yourself to improvement and eventually you will get there. Requires much patience of course.

Also, this is a support forum. If you don't feel like helping and supporting other members (and in one instance you advised someone on what methods are best to kill themselves), you have to ask what on earth you are doing here? Do you want someone to help you? Do you need convincing there is hope?
I've suffered enough because of hope in the past to know it only leads to crushing disappointment.
I learnt that this is a harsh world, and that to succeed at anything requires weathering many failures without falling to despair (which is always made worse when one has built a platform of false hopes beneath).

And I tend to be orders of magnitude more helpful than people who only advise positive thinking and therapy. Know why? I'm a pragmatist AND a realist. I apply knowledge and understanding with realistic limits to problems... not mere wishful thinking and "hope".
Oh, and for the record, the whole suicide thing was a perfect example... against the rules though it may have been. Everyone else was all "oh no, don't do it!" and I was the only one willing to actually give helpful advice.

Anyhow, I have no intention of being set back by those who doubt <i>me</i>, of all things. You probably ought to turn your doubt to more practical purposes.
 
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SmileMore

Well-known member
I've suffered enough because of hope in the past to know it only leads to crushing disappointment.
I learnt that this is a harsh world, and that to succeed at anything requires weathering many failures without falling to despair (which is always made worse when one has built a platform of false hopes beneath).

And I tend to be orders of magnitude more helpful than people who only advise positive thinking and therapy. Know why? I'm a pragmatist AND a realist. I apply knowledge and understanding with realistic limits to problems... not mere wishful thinking and "hope".
Oh, and for the record, the whole suicide thing was a perfect example... against the rules though it may have been. Everyone else was all "oh no, don't do it!" and I was the only one willing to actually give helpful advice.

Anyhow, I have no intention of being set back by those who doubt <i>me</i>, of all things. You probably ought to turn your doubt to more practical purposes.

Even if you think suicide is a good idea you shouldn't encourage someone who may be thinking about doing it.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
That applause for my post was just what I needed, actually. I got bothered by what someone said in another forum, and I came here and found someone actually agrees with me. thanks for that!

About him being banned, I would say don't make my argument be the spark--as much as I didn't like the guy. But now it seems like he was genuinely breaking the rules in the worst way, therefore good ban.

About positive thinking (is it not the same as hope?), I really wish I could subscribe to it more often as so many here and elsewhere have suggested, but I'm too bothered by the short-term results... things rarely work out for me. I'm not someone who has ever succeeded at anything. I have ADD and learning issues, I'm insecure and awkward. If you had a checkbox for "life skills," I don't think I'd have a check next to any item, which in my observations is quite rare.

Positive thinking, therefore, is at least a strange fit for me. I think the greater issue for me is not my realist-depressive, low-confidence outlook--although it is a problem--but problems with actually getting anything done.

If someone believes positive-thinking could help me surpass the problems caused by learning challenges and ADD, I'd like to hear it. But my life experience automatically makes me skeptical.
 
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