You haven't given me a gift, you've given me an obligation

[Aron]

Hi folks,

Here's a short clip from Big Bang Theory which applies to me greatly:

Big Bang Theory - Why Sheldon does not celebrate christmas - YouTube

I totally feel like Sheldon, and I actually gave up giving and accepting gifts years ago for this very reason, that includes christmas, birthdays and so on. It caused me huge stress to select the proper gift for people, so I decided to just drop it.

Does anybody else feel like this?

 

[Moa]

Yes, its stressful, expensive, time consuming and unnecessary unless its for the people you're very close to. I find it very stressful to open a present from someone who doesn't know me well as its hard for me to fake appreciation for a gift I dont like.

Same here. Especially when it's people I'm expected to form a good relationship with, like my boyfriend's parents. Last year they got me a bracelet that I found hideous. I'm dreading what they might get me this year. I feel kinda like an a-hole for not being more grateful because I know they genuinely like me and truly thought I'd like it, but I really wish they'd just save their money.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

My friends and I once agreed to stop buying christmas presents for each other due to this reason. Although, we still brought birthday presents for each other.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Yeah, gift-giving is stressful. Last year I did not give any gifts. It was fine really. This year I think I want to give small gifts. But I still don't know. Some people are easier to find gifts for than others, but it would not be nice to give to some and not to others. Yeah, I don't know. I am thinking it would just be easier not to, lol.

My boyfriend's mother sends me gifts. Not for my birthday or anything...just because. I really appreciate the gesture and am elated that she likes me and doesn't hate me like I thought she would. But...not only are they things I don't like or can use, she has even told me not to buy her gifts because she knows I don't have a job. Ahhh. That made me feel weird.

 

[Aletheia]

It caused me huge stress to select the proper gift for people

This is what I find most stressful about Christmas, hands down.

 

[lurknomore]

I've never even given the effort of "trying" to select gifts for people. If I have the financial means to get gifts, even my own mother just gets a gift certificate/card. If you don't tell me exactly what you want, you're not getting anything other than that, even my own kids. I think it's either because I'm not that close to anyone to know what they'd want, even people that I lived with for my first eighteen years of life- either that or I'm just too insecure and too afraid that they'll hate what I pick for them. ::

 

[SeniorRedrings]

I am not purchasing Xmas presents for anyone this year as I don't wish to "buy" into the Illuminati mindset.

 

[Moa]

There is the option of not buying gifts, but giving in other ways. I'd rather receive in that way than through material goods.

The No New Gifts Holiday Challenge :zenhabits

 

[MikeyC]

But...not only are they things I don't like or can use, she has even told me not to buy her gifts because she knows I don't have a job. Ahhh. That made me feel weird.

Yeah, that would make me feel quite weird, too. :/

I would love to not buy anyone anything for Christmas, but my mum insists on buying gifts for me and she stresses about it. So, with that happening, I have to return the favour.

 

[Feathers]

We have a 'no gifts' policy at home, and I really prefer it to other options! I've been given some really HIDEOUS gifts in the past!! LOL!

At times, we donated money for people in need, and I find that much better than any other option...
Sometimes there were still some chocolates or some money or such, but no bad fashion choices or stuffed animals luckily anymore!! (Who gives grown up kids soft toys?? Yikes??!!)

I even requested 'no gifts' or 'no material gifts' for birthday... It's bad for the planet too... Sometimes exchanged handmade things with a friend.. There are some 'gift exchange' events or retro/thrift options (where people exchange old not-really-wanted gifts, that someone else might LOVE?!) too...

I like that link, Moa!!

 

[MikeyC]

We have a 'no gifts' policy at home

I wish we would adopt this, too.

At times, we donated money for people in need, and I find that much better than any other option...

Yeah, that does sound much better. You would feel more rewarded about being selfless.

 

[Feathers]

I wish we would adopt this, too.

Well, maybe suggest it to your mum?

Is there a cause/organisation she cares for, or might likely?

Yeah, that does sound much better. You would feel more rewarded about being selfless.

Yeah, and happy to not get stuck with any other hideous things!! LOL!

My mum suggested donating for children/mission/church-related organisation in Africa, after some floods there, to help the people who have been affected by the floods... Maybe check what could be important to your mum? There are all sorts of worthwhile causes to support!! (Though she might say she wants to 'support you' - in that case maybe ask for an amazon certificate/gift card/subscription for something that is actually useful for you? maybe phone card if you don't have a subscription? or make a wishlist online and direct her to it? and maybe ask her to do the same, while you both set a 'money limit' and/or choose less expensive things?)

We even suggested people donate for a worthy cause at Granny's funeral, instead of buying iffy/toxic candles or too many flowers... (we still got some of those but it was muuch better!!) We researched to find something important to mum and other relatives...

There are schemes to adopt a dolphin or help animals or kids in poverty, locally or internationally etc.

 

[MikeyC]

Well, maybe suggest it to your mum?

Is there a cause/organisation she cares for, or might likely?

I can't imagine so. She would never go for that, anyway.

maybe ask for an amazon certificate/gift card/subscription for something that is actually useful for you? maybe phone card if you don't have a subscription? or make a wishlist online and direct her to it?

I already do this! Christmas gets so hard to buy for that mum continues to ask us as early as July what we want.

If I have the guts to say so, I want this to be the last Christmas where I buy and receive gifts. I'm just so over it.