You can't love someone else until you love yourself

[Esperance]

I think that if you aren't really a social person with a lot friends and who have almost not self-esteem, that could be right because you will tend to love someone much stronger because they are nice to you or because you need to fill a emotional void but once you will get better and you won't need to fill that void, it's possible that you are no more in love with that person

 

[SilentBird]

Yea. To put it even better, it is indeed possible to love people without them loving you back or reciprocating in any way, you might not NEED them, you can live without them but it won´t make you happy.

We are social creatures, life is interaction, communication, sharing and creating bonds with other people. If we get ignored or don´t get any reciprocation from people, it makes us feel isolated and unhappy.

I think nobody likes the feeling of being hated or unloved, why should we pretend to like it? I think it´s perfectly human, unless we start bothering people because of it.

More good stuff Lea, thanks.

For a long time I have been confused about what I get from people. I am trying to figure out what I ask of them, what my motives are. Ultimately, happiness is my motive, as well as the give and take of understanding and empathy.

 

[SilentBird]

I think that if you aren't really a social person with a lot friends and who have almost not self-esteem, that could be right because you will tend to love someone much stronger because they are nice to you or because you need to fill a emotional void but once you will get better and you won't need to fill that void, it's possible that you are no more in love with that person

Indeed. I have gotten attached to people when they have shown me just a little affection. And I stayed attached when they treated me badly.

 

[spearhunter]

well most of SA sufferers hate them self, maybe it's our thought process take focuses on the negative side of how we look, how we dress. Focusing on negativity is not good, we should try to see the positives in our lives , or the things that happen to us, and stop seeing negative and ignore everything that has no good things to see in.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

People don't love themselves for numerical reasons, a correction of the statement would be how can you love yourself when most people seem to hate you.

 

[BlackPuma]

I don't think the phrase is supposed to be interpreted so literally, and I also don't think it applies to everyone. It's one of those advices that is incredibly poor at explaining what it means. Like all one-phrase advices.

When a person hates themselves to the extend where they don't even attempt to give affection to others, the phrase start to make more sense. It applies to people whom have the; ''Who could possibly love me?'' phrase in their head when they ponder about friendship or love.

In that case you would have to love yourself to a more significant degree before you could love others. No one-size fits all, and advice is no different.

 

[Kiwong]

I don't think the phrase is supposed to be interpreted so literally, and I also don't think it applies to everyone. It's one of those advices that is incredibly poor at explaining what it means. Like all one-phrase advices.

When a person hates themselves to the extend where they don't even attempt to give affection to others, the phrase start to make more sense. It applies to people whom have the; ''Who could possibly love me?'' phrase in their head when they ponder about friendship or love.

In that case you would have to love yourself to a more significant degree before you could love others. No one-size fits all, and advice is no different.

Maybe love is too strong a description of what is required, maybe all you have to do is accept yourself, to believe you are worth fighting for, with all your failings.

 

[BlackPuma]

Maybe love is too strong a description of what is required, maybe all you have to do is accept yourself, to believe you are worth fighting for, with all your failings.

That's a good point. I agree.

'Love' is also too undefined/broad/trivial in concept to really be relied upon in advice of this nature. If you'd ask the question ''What is love?'' you'd most likely get 53 different answers.

Acceptance/coping with would be better, since they have a linear definition. It doesn't sound as pretty, but it's a lot clearer.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

If you'd ask the question ''What is love?'' you'd most likely get 53 different answers.

I quite agree, mind.