Would you want your bf/gf/friends to have SA?

[jryden]

Would you feel more comfortable dating or being friends with someone who has SA so you have that in common or would it be more depressing? You wouldn't want to go out/deal with people and each others company would get old after some time. Maybe not.

Thoughts?

 

[JonSP]

It's always been a hard question to answer for me. Dating someone who doesn't have SA would probably bring me out of my shell, but they would be less likely to understand the situation and SA in general compared to someone who does suffer from it. Both have their pros and cons I guess.

 

[JuiceB]

It's always been a hard question to answer for me. Dating someone who doesn't have SA would probably bring me out of my shell, but they would be less likely to understand the situation and SA in general compared to someone who does suffer from it. Both have their pros and cons I guess.

Preferably someone like this but who's also understanding or willing to listen and learn.

 

[Foxface]

Would you feel more comfortable dating or being friends with someone who has SA so you have that in common or would it be more depressing? You wouldn't want to go out/deal with people and each others company would get old after some time. Maybe not.

Thoughts?

Yes. I would date someone with SA. I kinda prefer it actually, becuase where they are like me, they are more to understand it. We can help each other through stuff, like motive each other.

I would like a girl who can understand me, and is there for me. motivate me to do things, I would do the same for her.

 

[dottie]

NO. unless he has overcome it. opposites attract.

 

[alwaysrunning]

i would never WANT anyone to be inflicted with such a state of mind, but i see where the question arises. To be honest i am not sure, i tend to be very disconnected at times, and the people i conect with the most are people who do not have SA but do understand my disorder given their introvertedness and seeming shyness. I also have friends whom after a couple years of friendship i have found out they have SA and thus sharing this has made us closer, however there still líes the issue of never really connecting enough, or being too scared to make an appearance of the "real self". With my friends who do not have SA, it is not easier to connect on my part but they make it easier to attempt to bridge that gap.

Dating has always been an unresolved and very much uncertain territory for me, feelings arise and leave at a moments notice. I leave before things can even managae to get remotely serious. I abandon my self for fear of becomng dependant, i cannot imagine two people of the minaste going at this. Perhaps it would be easier because then silences would be understood, the time to myself would not be seen as selfless and perhaps my depresión would be understood and not reproached.

 

[Starry]

Well I married a man who has it... I've never been in a relationship with anyone else, so I can't comment on that side of things, but us both suffering with SP has meant we both understand each other and there is no extra pressure from either of us to the other. But at the same time we still improved in many ways together, as we are both going through the same things we can offer tremendous support to each other.

 

[Chess]

I wouldn't mind either way as long as they were reasonably understanding of it. Having friends who don't have anxiety was actually really helpful to me. They knew where all the fun was at and friends of friends is much less awkward than complete strangers.

 

[chibiXphantom]

ive only ever dated really outgoing guys. first bf was the class clown type (as was the second bf). the one guy i did date that was shy didnt last long cause all we ever did was just sit around with awkward conversations then sending eachother youtube videos on facebook.

my bf now isnt shy at all. he can talk to anyone, act all crazy like in public, and there doesnt seem to be much that holds him back. and i think being with him ive met more people and done more things that i wouldnt have done had i not been with him (not that they werent things i didnt want to do. just would be too afraid to do alone). he's also very understanding of my SA and tries to help me. he knows my limits too of what i feel uncomfortable with socially.

i dont think dating a guy with SA would be good for me. it would probably cause us to separate from the world and just bring us both down, where as with an outgoing guy, it would help bring me out of my shell a bit and experience life more.

 

[market.garden]

Personally, I don't think I could ever date anyone who didn't have SA or related issues. Not that I would turn a confident, outgoing girl down if they were ever stupid enough to want to have anything to do with me, but I know that being with someone who goes through the same stuff I do would make me feel more relaxed about the relationship.

Dating someone who was the opposite of me would make me feel even more ashamed and low than I do right now. I think I'd find it easier to motivate myself to try new things if I could do it with someone who was going through similar - like we could support each other.

 

[psych]

I'd like to, because I never have. Just to see what that's like.

 

[Foxface]

NO. unless he has overcome it. opposites attract.

This pisses me off! I'm sorry, but not all opposites attract. I know two girls with social anxiety and we have a lot in common and get along very well.

Opposites can mean trouble, especially if it's something that you care about.

ONe of the only friends, good friend dosen't like a band that I like, I really do. I still love her becuase she is specially and excepts me.

We are mostly the same. Since we both have social anxiety, we can support each other. Being alone is tough, having someone with you, who has it, and they can understand you, becuase they have the experince also, really helps. When we are there for each other, it makes a huge difference.I wouldn't be here today, if it wasn't for here.

Another girl, from the UK, also helps when I talk to her. Two people going through the same experince can be very helpful.

They both understand the situation, so there no guessing, what it's like. We can share ideas and stuff. When we are together, there is nothing else to worry about, no people, not what others think, I block them out. No hot girls, becuase she is the only girl.

One of the few bad things, is that we she dosen't want a boyfriend right now. She never had one, but isn't ready yet. I am her only friend.

I would find it hard to date someone who dosen't have social anxiety, becuase how would they know what it's like? WHat everyday is like for me? They probably know it's tough and they I have some struggling with things, but that's it. There is a lot for them to learn.

Way more, then a person who already has social anxiety. Also most girls without social anxiety, do not want a guy that has problems, someone to have to look after/help out. They expect someone to take care of themself without problems. They be like, of, you expect be to be there for you all the time so you feel better and secure? I don't think so, see ya loser! No one actually said that to me, but that's what most girls where I live are like. There are only a few good girls, and I hardly met any of them. There are so many bad girls, it seems like there are no good girls left. So, it's hard to find them. I gotta burn through all of the pissy girls, judgemental freaks.

There is onyl so many "normal" girls out there who care, about people like me, like us, and they are hard to find. I guess it depends on the area you live in. Nova Soctia, sucks for people like me, becuase these girls are very limited. I've searched since juniour high (2001) to find a good girl. I've probably meet, less then 8 who live near me, who are in my age range.


I know at least three girls who are very nice and I can talk to them without having to worry that the next thing I say with annoy them or set them off. THey are very easy to have a conversation with. All three girls have social anxiety, 1 of them, has Asperger's Syndrome, like me. Girls who are different, like Asperger's Syndrome, social anxiety, stand out, becuase they are special. The same with guys.

 

[MikeyC]

I wouldn't wish social anxiety on my friends or partners.