Worse since i've found SPworld

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Ever since I found this website I've been worse off... on this website I have somebody to talk to, only when I stay home. I have now a reason not to go anywhere, or not to step out my front door. Before I thought I was a freak, and so I forced myself to step out because I... well I don't know, but I did. Now it's gone, I don't exercise anymore either, I'm sinking into depression, but before I would have told myself "Stop sopping around and take control, get healthy, and go for a run.". Maybe it IS thoughts that breed feelings, and realizing that my high standards keep me from doing things is just breeding hopelessness.
 

Felgen

Well-known member
This place haven't exactly helped me either. Having said that, I know that it's my responsibility to improve my condition. If there's one thing SPW has taught me, it is that no matter how fucked up your life is, someone else always have it worse.
 

KiaraBlue

Well-known member
Yeah..sometimes I think that it would be better for me to forget about this site for some time until things move forward for me..this site is my 'shelter'..I always rather stay at home with u guys then go out in this scary world..
 
Yeah..sometimes I think that it would be better for me to forget about this site for some time until things move forward for me..this site is my 'shelter'..I always rather stay at home with u guys then go out in this scary world..

You better not leave!

I can identify with what you're saying, Escape. I've built a dependency, and now I'm less inspired to actually form friendships/relationships in person. I really need this site (healthy or unhealthy), and leaving just isn't an option for me.
 
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Remus

Moderator
Staff member
Guys, this is a support site to share stories and experience, it is not a place to get a cure, always seem proffesional help for that!
 

Predacon

Well-known member
I find the site comforting, its good to know I'm not the only one going through this and it helps to read about people succedding as it shows me if they can do it I should be able to do it.
 

black-wings

Well-known member
I guess its different for some. Since I found this website, I've actually gotten a little bit better. This site has helped me a lot. It wasn't the magic bullet but you guys have definitely encouraged me to take some major steps towards healing. :)
 
U

userremoved

Guest
The connections to the people is what can be addicting, since a lot of us aren't used to that closeness in real life. I've gotten hooked on Facebook and WoW for a while for the same reasons. You should still try to better yourself and maybe try to find another way to stay in contact with any friends you make here.
 

NinjaLikesToast

Well-known member
I am still new to the site, but it has not really helped/hurt me in any way that I can see. It's just a crutch for me to lean on when I need to talk to someone or feel.. not so alone?

That's really all I see it as so far. I won't let it get out of control, and I think you need to do the same :)
 

M1tCh

Banned
I am still new to the site, but it has not really helped/hurt me in any way that I can see. It's just a crutch for me to lean on when I need to talk to someone or feel.. not so alone?

That's really all I see it as so far. I won't let it get out of control, and I think you need to do the same :)

Run away. Do it! Your tune will change! The monster that is spw will devour you whole!
 

Fml

Member
I don't know but this site doesn't made me feel worse.
I think it's great to know that I'm not the only one with this problem and that there are people on here with worse problems than me.
I'm sorry to say this but it actually makes me feel better knowing that there are people with worse forms of social anxiety, altho I would really like them to feel better soon...
 

Luke1993

Well-known member
This site has definitely helped me with various issues, it's this or nothing at all! Hearing people's stories and the advice given helps me a lot, many things said here are so close to what happens to me it's almost as if I wrote them myself! Scary.

If this site really doesn't help you and is making you worse, maybe you should leave...I don't know, I wouldn't wish anyone here to leave, but if you really think you'd be better off without this site, consider it.
 

Luthien

Well-known member
Ever since I found this website I've been worse off... on this website I have somebody to talk to, only when I stay home. I have now a reason not to go anywhere, or not to step out my front door. Before I thought I was a freak, and so I forced myself to step out because I... well I don't know, but I did. Now it's gone, I don't exercise anymore either, I'm sinking into depression, but before I would have told myself "Stop sopping around and take control, get healthy, and go for a run.". Maybe it IS thoughts that breed feelings, and realizing that my high standards keep me from doing things is just breeding hopelessness.

That's too bad :( I haven't had that problem here myself, but maybe it's because I have people around me at home and I have art. I feel like having something you are passionate about is really helpful and important.

It makes me sad that you think you're a freak... and that you sound like you think that's a bad thing. I know how you feel, but you're not "a freak" you are unique. And being unique is AWESOME. Being different can be hard, but it's worth it. I think so anyway and I've always been "a freak". But I revel in the term, I enjoy it, it's not a negative word to me at all. I love the movie "Freaks" and the book "Geek Love". Most good novels aren't about "normal" people, they're about people that are different or off in some way. They stand out, and that's why they end up having adventures and doing amazing stuff!

For me, exercise is a huge hurtle. I go long periods of time without getting any (when I'm really down) but then when I feel better, I can't wait to get moving again. I think the important thing is not to judge yourself and not to think too much about it. If you sit around and think "I should go run, but I don't want to! I am so lame, what's wrong with me? Why can't I just get up?! Why am I so lazy, I'm going to gain a million pounds. Blah blah blah...." And it goes on and on and on. The trick I've found is when you think "I should go run" you stop there, get up and do it. DON'T THINK. Don't let your mind trail off to nowhere don't run yourself around in circles in your head, just get up and do it. And if you DO sit around, don't be cruel to yourself. Just say, "I don't have the energy today, I'll do it tomorrow." Stop yourself from being mean.

I wouldn't say that thoughts breed feelings, it's a cycle. Thoughts fuel emotions which, in turn, elicit actions which causes thoughts which fuel emotions. It goes on and on and on. Change your thoughts and you can change anything.

I know your high standards can make it hard, I have the same problem. But what I am trying to do is think more about the things that stress me out. Like when I play a video game and I get so MAD at myself for not doing whatever I am supposed to do perfectly. So I stop and I think, I don't want to be an expert video game player, that is definitely NOT a goal I have, so why does it matter? Who cares about a video game? And if I still feel upset, I stop playing a go read a book till I calm down. Then I go do something else. When you are doing something that you would like to be very good at someday, make sure to remind yourself that it takes time and practice to GET good. And that is where the pressure should be, to practice, not to be an instant success.

I hope that you don't leave the site, I really like talking to you! But if you feel you need to for your own sanity, then do it. Whatever holds you back from your own personal growth should be tossed.
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
You know.. it's my problem, not this site. I was using it as an excuse to stay home from school, but really, I would have stayed home anyways... it doesn't matter whether this site exists or not. I am just realising my SA more with this site, that's not a bad thing. You can't change anything you don't know about..
" I feel like having something you are passionate about is really helpful and important." I've been trying to find this.. I know what it is, it's nature, but where I live there is NO nature, I can't reach it, it's a 1-2 hours car ride and I can't drive. I just stare at pictures...but it's not enough.
It's getting really hard to exercise because of weight gain and posture problems because of weight gain, it's really painful to run now, and the only secluded exercise I have is a treadmill. I'm going to -try- to go on walks... You're right about the cycle. I tend to persuade myself that thoughts breed feeling or feelings breed thoughts depending on what mood i'm in.
The high standards are what's KILLING me. I can't do my homework. I try. I sit down, and TRY SO HARD. (projects are the worst for me) because.. I expect to do something that stands out always. It's also hard because when I don't exercise I get minor distraction problems, I can't sit still, and I haven't been exercising, so difficulty doing homework is like X100.
"And that is where the pressure should be, to practice, not to be an instant success."
That's a really good quote you just made there missy. I'm going to keep that in mind, even though my brain doesn't fully follow it yet, I know this is a way better means of high standards, PRACTICE.

I'm really glad you're on this site, Luthien, I think just having you to talk to in long-message-format has made SPworld benefit me.

Time to finally do my first at-home-yoga.
 

Anomaly

Well-known member
For me, exercise is a huge hurtle. I go long periods of time without getting any (when I'm really down) but then when I feel better, I can't wait to get moving again. I think the important thing is not to judge yourself and not to think too much about it. If you sit around and think "I should go run, but I don't want to! I am so lame, what's wrong with me? Why can't I just get up?! Why am I so lazy, I'm going to gain a million pounds. Blah blah blah...." And it goes on and on and on. The trick I've found is when you think "I should go run" you stop there, get up and do it. DON'T THINK. Don't let your mind trail off to nowhere don't run yourself around in circles in your head, just get up and do it. And if you DO sit around, don't be cruel to yourself. Just say, "I don't have the energy today, I'll do it tomorrow." Stop yourself from being mean.

What I find funny is that when I exercise, I tend to have more energy in the following days, so if I can manage to get some exercise, it's much easier the next time around.
 

Luthien

Well-known member
You know.. it's my problem, not this site. I was using it as an excuse to stay home from school, but really, I would have stayed home anyways... it doesn't matter whether this site exists or not. I am just realising my SA more with this site, that's not a bad thing. You can't change anything you don't know about..
" I feel like having something you are passionate about is really helpful and important." I've been trying to find this.. I know what it is, it's nature, but where I live there is NO nature, I can't reach it, it's a 1-2 hours car ride and I can't drive. I just stare at pictures...but it's not enough.
It's getting really hard to exercise because of weight gain and posture problems because of weight gain, it's really painful to run now, and the only secluded exercise I have is a treadmill. I'm going to -try- to go on walks... You're right about the cycle. I tend to persuade myself that thoughts breed feeling or feelings breed thoughts depending on what mood i'm in.
The high standards are what's KILLING me. I can't do my homework. I try. I sit down, and TRY SO HARD. (projects are the worst for me) because.. I expect to do something that stands out always. It's also hard because when I don't exercise I get minor distraction problems, I can't sit still, and I haven't been exercising, so difficulty doing homework is like X100.
"And that is where the pressure should be, to practice, not to be an instant success."
That's a really good quote you just made there missy. I'm going to keep that in mind, even though my brain doesn't fully follow it yet, I know this is a way better means of high standards, PRACTICE.

I'm really glad you're on this site, Luthien, I think just having you to talk to in long-message-format has made SPworld benefit me.

Time to finally do my first at-home-yoga.

Oh Escape♥! You made me cry!! I'm so glad if my words can help, even just a little bit. Good luck with your yoga and your personal growth of all sorts! Remember not to judge yourself when things are hard or you forget to work on changing yourself, it takes time and a lot of it! I have faith that you can do anything that you want, so long as you can get past the fear of failure and move on to the actual doing of things!!!

As for getting into nature, you can bring nature to you! Start a garden box or two or three. You'd be amazed at how much you can grow on a porch, a stoop, or even a window sill. And get some bird feeders. I find sitting and watching the birds to be one of the most relaxing things (just one of the many ways I'm slowly turning into my mother). I know the feeling of desperately needing to be in nature, and the only way I can think for you to immerse yourself would be to pack some gear and get on your bike and ride out of town! But if that's not an option, you can make nature in your city space.

When I left home, I moved to Philly, into a neighborhood of dilapidated houses (many of which were abandoned) with 8x8 squares of concrete in the backyards of each row house and a miniscule little patch of grass by the sidewalk. In this poor, run-down part of the city, there was one house that I made a point to pass on my bike every chance I got. It was amazing! There was a willow tree hanging over the sidewalk, there was a sort of faux river/coy pond winding around the corner. There were flowers and a little fountain and so much greenery, all squished between the house and the sidewalk, in such a tiny amount of space. On the other side of the sidewalk, there were small Japanese maples and stools carved from wood to look like mushrooms where the locals would sit and smoke in midday. Only once did I see the man who lived in this house, I rode by on my bike and almost missed him, and once I saw him I was so excited I almost rode into the middle of the road. He was this beautiful tiny black man, with long, lovely gray dreadlocks down his back. I wish so much that I'd been able to talk to him... But I never saw him again.

That was my bit of nature in the city. It was beautiful and like walking through a dream. I am always in awe of people who can do such lofty, large projects to bring beauty to those around them. Because his garden wasn't just for himself, it was for everyone who passed by. I know you probably wont be able to go to these proportions, but I wanted to tell you about in the hopes of inspiring you to think outside of your box. You don't have to be completely surrounded by woods to enjoy nature, and you don't have make a huge, lavish garden to have it in your home. All you need is one plant that you can observe and wonder about. One little bird that sits by your window for less than a minute. It can be enough if you can be completely present with it.
 

Luthien

Well-known member
What I find funny is that when I exercise, I tend to have more energy in the following days, so if I can manage to get some exercise, it's much easier the next time around.

It's the same for me except I need to exercise for a few days or a week before I start to get the energy boost. Maybe it's because I have such a painfully slow metabolism. Also, because I went for SO long without leaving my extremely tiny house or doing any yoga or anything, I am now constantly achy and sore. It's okay, though, I don't really mind since I'm finally out in the sun and enjoying every day! (we just moved to a new, sunny and fabulous house that is super private)
 
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