I'm alone because I'm quiet and because I'm not making a conversations with people. They can't understand why I can't talk with them, so they're asking me:"why are you always so quiet?", so I say:"I don't know".
Conclusion: they don't hate me, they're just acting like me 🙂 They have no reason to hate me, because I haven't done anything bad to them...
Like you monchy I am quiet and do not start a conversation. I am also to the point type of person. And do not like small talk. I find people boring and most adults childish. Plus I am very sensitive and have been hurt by words all my life.
I think for me it's mainly about trust and feeling like I'm the same as the other person. If I trust you and I feel like we're not from different worlds, I'll open up a completely different side of me, to you. The problem obviously is that the only person I naturally felt this type of connection with was my mother, then later my brother and over many years my sister and father. For everyone else I really don't feel this type of unity, if I can use that word. I feel like we're not the same species and our understanding of one another is thus limited or made void.
That's why I take on another persona when I'm around people I'm not comfortable with. My immediate reaction is to flee and avoid feeling uncomfortable, or for my "uniqueness" to not be exposed. This means I take on a very shy, awkward personality which I can't seem to really change. I think for me it all boils down to a lack of commonality with others. One of the reasons I feel "what's the point of trying?" is because I assume others have this same perception about me - that I'm too different to be associated with. Being a sociable being, with people I don't feel comfortable around, is for me a great struggle.
I still ponder as to why I feel detached from everyone else. If I could figure that out, perhaps my uneasiness around people would lessen, and then I could show them a much more expressive side of myself. That's why I am alone. It's just too much of a mental effort to be with others.
Like you monchy I am quiet and do not start a conversation. I am also to the point type of person. And do not like small talk. I find people boring and most adults childish. Plus I am very sensitive and have been hurt by words all my life.
^ Ah can relate there, Nightjar. I'm exactly tha same.
because i feel ugly all the time,i feel like i'm not good enough for the people i'm attracted to,i feel like a mouse around them,i feel like they hate me..
I don't want to say it but the truth is I think it's because I've been lazy and cowardly. I just can't relax around people, including my own family, so opt for being on my own.
I feel for you all! It is terrible to be like this.As a child I built up a wall around my heart for protection and everybody thought I was a snob. I managed to become unfeeling towards others and could not feel their pain. As I got older I learned to cope.
I don't want to say it but the truth is I think it's because I've been lazy and cowardly. I just can't relax around people, including my own family, so opt for being on my own.
Aye, me anaw. Plus, the pressure tae "fit in" jist... Och! Ah cannae deal wi' it. Plus, ma family huv this high opinion o' me that ah cannae live up tae - when the first word folk think o' tae describe you is "funny", the effin' pressure oan then. Believe you me, an' if yer no' funny, well, that you f**ked, innit?
because i feel ugly all the time,i feel like i'm not good enough for the people i'm attracted to,i feel like a mouse around them,i feel like they hate me..
Aye, ah can relate there. Ah know that feelin', ah git the same thought, masel', especially in group social situations.
I feel for you all! It is terrible to be like this.As a child I built up a wall around my heart for protection and everybody thought I was a snob. I managed to become unfeeling towards others and could not feel their pain. As I got older I learned to cope.
Oddly enough, folk thought the same o' me - snob. Stuck up an' aw that. But ah think ah did the same as you, Nightjar. Pittin' up that wall to protect masel' an' detach from others. Mainly because ah was bullied a fair bit as a child, an' ah didnae want people to see jist how badly that affect me, emotionally.
