Why do people keep saying these things?
- Thread starter JamesSmith
- Start date
In my case, being positive doesn't help me at all. Coz when I do, that's the time when I become too conscious of my behavior, my deeds, my faults, everything! It does make me feel happy, like I'm in control of myself and I definitely know my plans in life. And when I do fail, I get to tolerate it at first, but in the long run it just makes me feel depressed. Most of the time I'm worried because I want to make everything just RIGHT... but when I'm back to my pessimist self, I feel relaxed like I don't give the f*ck what I do or what happens. When I fail, I simply shrug it off and give myself another chance coz I've expected it anyway. But when I succeed at something, the impact is much greater because I didn't see it coming. Makes me feel happy and surprised. Maybe it depends on the person. I'm fine with my pessimism.
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harwee anne
Member
I don't think you necessarily need to change yourself. You are who you are when you're typing, it's easy doing that and you are outgoing in that way. It is inside you to be the same person you are on the computer in the real world. It's the people in person your afraid of. I found that with myself,and yes you get shy in front of people and don't know what to say because of nerves that's normal. I think it's more of fighting the fear for everyone. Some of us have that outgoing part of us that we are just too afraid to share.
JamesSmith
Well-known member
Um, do I really have to explain this on a social anxiety website??
I figured everyone was on here because they are socially anxious. It's not a 100% choice, it's something we just have. The main thing we are anxious about are negative consequences in social situations that may happen to us.
Of course, it is more than that. There are other factors such as muscle tension that contribute to anxiety.
You can be a good person, and have plenty to worry about. You can be a good person, and still not know what to say in social situations. You can be a good person, and still come across as a bad person who hates talking to or hates being around people.
There are plenty of things good people have to worry about in social situations if they struggle with communicating on a normal, healthy level, which i do.
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JamesSmith
Well-known member
I see what you are saying. Yes, we all have a character that needs to be let out.
What I meant was I need to change my actions. Instead of hiding my character, I need to let it out. The problem is that no matter how much I pump myself up, I always tighten up in social situations and never have the desire to be myself.
You're right, it's totally different on a computer than irl. Of course I can open up on here. My problem is that I'm quiet as a mouse in real life.
Kiwong
Well-known member
Your selective quote missed my response to the knee injury and championship game analogy that you presented.
Attitude is the key when faced with adversity. There are those who as soon as they are injured look to do everything they can do recover, there are those who lose a champinship game and immediately plan their redemption. There are those that give up.
You seem to be very intelligent and articulate to me, with a desire to love and be loved, all very admirable qualities. The only thing missing I reckon is your attitude.
Sometimes necessity can bring about change in attitude, like serious physical injury and illness, which certainly was a wake up call for me.
The choice to wallow in advesity or to try to beat it is an attitude thing. I was someone who wallowed in adversity probably for about 15 years. It is possible to change.
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