why are people really bothered by negativety?

[Minty]

It's an energy and some people are more sensitive to it than others. Negative threads don't bother me, but I do feel a tug to smooth things out. I want to be there for both of the parties involved and make them feel better. I don't though because a) it's none of my business b) what if I fail and make things worse?

At home, it's a different story. I'm EASILY bothered by negativity. My parents are very negative and stressed and they've sort of made it a part of the atmosphere in our home. They complain about everything and skip over the positive aspects of their lives. It's really strange because my siblings and I are rather positive and upbeat. It's commonplace for my mom to walk into the living room and to tell us to stop laughing because it's annoying her.

 

[Lea]

I'm only really bothered by negativity if it's both a) ongoing and b) about shallow things.

Yes, exactly! Btw what is far worse IMO is fake positivity. Natural, real positivity is great, but fake positivity is so judgmental and hypocritical. It is masked negativity in fact..

 

[kilojoule]

I have no problem with negativity (within reason).

My problem is that people often dont respect the balance positive/negative balance. They favour the negative. Its not that their negativity brings me down. Its that it irks me to see people being excessively negative and bringing themselves down further. Try focus on something positive, thatll help you a lot more than focusing on all the bad stuff all the time.
In my experience, negativity breeds negativity but positivity does not neccessarily breed positivity. People frequently exaggerate negativity but rarely the other way round (Also falseness is just as irritating as excessive negativity.) And I undersrand that this is the nature of depression, not being able to see the positive side...but sometimes a part of me wants to yell 'try harder' really look for it.

It is there. Its always there, its just harder to find than the negative stuff. And as with anything, the hard stuff is generally the stuff worth doing. With people, the balance generally tips toward negative. Trying to move that needle evenly between positive/negative is a difficult thing to do.

This is something that Ive really had to work on.

 

[kilojoule]

But I emphasise its not because their negativity brings me down, its because it brings them down. And causes them more problems. And it irritates me that they cant see the pattern.

SecondlyI dont want to be a negative point in their lives and Ill never be a positive one since they only focus on negative so yea, I remove myself before they start zooming in and magnifying all my flaws. Id prefer to be in the company of those who brings the good out of me.

 

[bcsr]

But I emphasise its not because their negativity brings me down, its because it brings them down. And causes them more problems. And it irritates me that they cant see the pattern.

I feel exactly the same way.

 

[KiaKaha]

People focus on negativity cant help it though. I think a lot of people think that people are choosing to focus on the negative - and that is where the frustration stems from. They think that if they can pull themselves out of it and focus on the positive then it frustrates them that no one else can.

Frustrating as it may be - it is still acceptable. If people appear to "not try" - then you simply dont understand them, nor have the patience to.

 

[da_illest101]

I made this topic based on what happened to me

I told my friends about my neck injury and my financial problems and I got more motivation from the one who told that agreed with me on the fact that i'm really screwed than the ones who told me it's not bad and that I'll get back on my feet someday someway

 

[Nathália]

There are different types of negativity and things that people perceive to be negative that does not really bother me.

If someone is not smiling and laughing as much as their peers, I am not going to call them negative. That person could be happy, but because someone does not show me their pride does not mean they don't have any.

One type of negativity that bounces on my nerves is the whining type that never want to do anything that does not goes their way. As soon as it goes their way then they're all of a sudden happy, but they can cry and be in a bad for days because the soda machine has no root beer.

I had a friend like that, she threw a hisssssss fit and started stonewalling people because she didn't win a red teddy bear at the park. Are you kidding me? You have to be!

If a person does not have good days, I understand and they go though things in their life. I don't ask for things from people, so I don't depend on anyone to make me happy but myself, but there are negative habits that are very childish and annoying.

 

[Valhalla]

People can be bothered by negativity if it spills over and evolves to being a jerk to other people. I never do that. I'm on my alert when I realize someone is in a really bad mood. Then again you stumble over those that can't stand someone around them not having their happy-go-lucky attitude. "Let's erase old boring and grumpy because he doesn't fit in our bubble".

I drain negativity from many things. I'm tired of upbeat positivity, and find it hard how anyone can feel like that all the time. That's what's going on in my head. I'll try to put on a pretty normal face throughout the whole thing though. I'm usually no geezer, I'll feed on my negativity in my own castle.

 

[coyote]

Once upon a time, a young kiwi was hopping through the forest, whistling a merry tune. Suddenly, and without warning, he fell into a deep abandoned well that had been covered with leaves.

At first, the kiwi didn't know what had happened. He sat there, blinking, trying to adjust to his new surroundings. But it was dark, and he couldn't see a thing. He looked up and saw the faintest glimmer of sunlight streaming in from above.

Soon, another kiwi peered over the edge and called down to him, "are you ok, down there?"

"No," said the first kiwi, "you see, i'm trapped in this hole with no way out."

"Oh that's horrible!" cried the second kiwi, "what should we do?"

Soon some other kiwis gathered 'round the hole, peering blankly into the depths. As they fretted, an old coyote happened along, whistling a merry tune.

"What's going on here?" he asked cheerfully.

"I fell into this hole!" a voice came up from below.

The coyote peered into the darkness. "Can't you get out?" he asked.

"No," said the first kiwi, "I have no wings, i can't fly. I have no arms, i can't climb. I'm trapped forever."

"Oh my, that's terrible," said the coyote, "but, y'know, i"ve fallen in a few holes before. Maybe i can help you get out of this one. Can you feel around in the dark and see what's down there that you might use?"

From the depths he heard the kiwi mutter, "oooohhh, Mr. Big Shot, aren't you the arrogant coyote, thinking you're all better than me with your dippy optimisim. don't judge me, i didn't choose to be here. why don't you go arse off!"

"Sorry," just trying to help shouted the coyote, "I know you didn't choose to fall in the hole, but now that you're down there, you can choose to find a way out. Hey, what if i threw down a rope or something? could you grab that with your beak?"

"Why can't you just leave me be?" wailed the kiwi from the bottom of the well, "who asked you anyway?"

"Ok, then," asked the coyote, "what do you want?"

""Well," the kiwi pondered a moment, "it is awfully lonely down here!"

With that, the other kiwis conferred and nodded at one another. Then, one by one, they leaped into the hole to join their comrade.

The coyote looked into the black depths, "You guys sure you want to be down there? You going to be ok?"

"Why don't you join us?" yelled the first kiwi, "or do you think you're too good for that?"

"No thanks," smiled the coyote, "i'd rather take my chances up here. Besides, I have a date with a beautiful fox tonight. But I'll stop by and check on you from time to time, though, and see how you're doing. Good luck!" and he sauntered off, whistling his merry tune again.

"WE don't need him, anyway," grumbled the kiwi to his mates. "Coyotes and their false positivity, bahh. We have each other. Down here. At the bottom of this hole... it's not so bad... kinda getting used to it really...."

 

[Aletheia]

 

[kilojoule]

 

[Kiwong]

* standing ovation*

Bravo, Mr Coyote.

 

[MikeyC]

Nice one, coyote. I thought that story was about Kia for a moment. ::

 

[coyote]

I thought that story was about Kia for a moment.

the flightless bird imagery lends itself to a number of different metaphors

 

[KiaKaha]

Nice one, coyote. I thought that story was about Kia for a moment. ::

Kiwi's and Coyotes? Of course it is, it is a metaphorical response to the "humility vs confidence" Q & A - I am the Kiwi and Coyote is the...uh...Coyote. Shame the premise is incorrect, but it was a nice story anyway.

 

[MikeyC]

the flightless bird imagery lends itself to a number of different metaphors

I don't understand unless kangaroos and wallabies are involved.

 

[A86]

awesome story coyote. really illustrates that you cannot help someone not willing to help themselves.

 

[Shenmue]

If you keep suppressing your emotions, then eventually those negative emotions may seep out into other areas of your life. Some might try hiding their problems through drink or drugs. And there are those who will lose all hope and become suicidal. So who am I to judge anyway. After all, this is a support forum.

 

[Kiwong]

I don't understand unless kangaroos and wallabies are involved.

Or Marsupial Moles and Underground orchids, they happily live underground. Although it is very hard whistling a happy tune with desert sand in your mouth.